# Hysterically Awful Movies (spoilers) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 17, 2004, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272 "2004-11-17T15:33:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![mailman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@mailman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mailman)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/121 "2004-11-20T16:17:30Z")
Okay–Nobody agrees with me about the Abyss, even though the scene where Ed Harris breathes “I love you” with his last bubble of air has to be the worst big-budget moment of all time. Okay, I’m crushed and befuddled. But whatabout the Bo Derek movie she made with her hubby right after “10?” What was it called? Some sci-fi thing. I remember I went to see it as a pimply high school kid, and even I, in a haze of hormones, recognized BAD when I saw it. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/122 "2004-11-20T16:31:10Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > Also, has ANYONE seen a movie called “UNDER THE RAINBOW”? Its another one of those dwarf movies…set on the set of THE WIZARD OF OZ. Foe some reason, he littlepeople stage a riot, and wreck the place (while dressed as the munchkins). Hysterically bad acting…I think this one came out ca 1976? Yeah, it’s a fantasy based partly on how the makers of _The Wizard of Oz_ had to go to Europe to find Munchkins and, it seems, partly on Judy Garland’s stories of Munchkin behavior. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/123 "2004-11-20T19:03:31Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > If anyone is going to nominate a musical that helped kill movie musicals, I’m going to suggest **Can’t Stop the Music!** with the Village People, Valerie Perrine, Bruce Jenner and Steve Gutenberg. > > Disco was already dying by the time the movie came out, the Village People couldn’t act, the trio of Guttenberg, Jenner and Perrine gave the performance you feared they would and the whole thing ended with an out-of-place although not out-of-character gay liberation anthem. > > And if you’re lucky and you watch closely during the YMCA number, you’ll get to see naughty bits! Let’s not forget that it was directed by the waitress from the Bounty (“The quicker picker-upper”) commercials, Nancy Walker. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/124 "2004-11-20T19:25:16Z")
I’ve been looking for a copy of \*Can’t Stop The Music \* for years. I have heard legends of its hysterical badness, and would know for myself. Seems like a natural, in a world where you can now see \*At Long Last Love \* on television. Oh, yeah, _At Long Last Love_… Peter Bogdanovich, greatly puffed up with his starting successes, decided to reinvent the musical for the seventies… despite the fact he’d never directed one, and actually didn’t really seem to understand the genre. He decided that his then-girlfriend, one Cybil Sheperd, was the perfect ingenue, and threw in Madeline Kahn (who _can_ sing and dance) and Burt Reynolds (who can _not_). I’ve seen it several times now, and it’s _fascinating_. It’s like watching a train wreck or building demolition in slow motion, almost… the sheer beauty of its disintegration, you know? Bogdanovich could possibly have saved this dog by dubbing the actors’ voices with actual singers, but he wasn’t having any of THAT nonsense. He also apparently decided that having the people dancing onscreen didn’t really need professional choreography… or, really, even to be quite IN STEP with each other. There are scenes in this movie that look like a high school drama class’s rehearsal for a dance number, honestly. The actors are pretty fun, too. Cybil Sheperd chews the scenery like her entire career is on the line in every scene. Madeline Kahn, perhaps hardened by her work in Mel Brooks movies, plays along gamely, but you can see in her eyes, she’s thinking _Is this the end of the part of my career where people take me seriously?_, whereas Burt Reynolds seems to be having a weird kind of _fun_… as if he’s thinking _Nobody took me seriously to begin with, and yeah, this movie’s gonna be a dog, but it’s a paycheck, and besides, I’ve got several wildly successful car-chase movies ahead of me, so what the hell, right?_ _Lifeforce:_ I was young enough when I saw this movie that I actually didn’t think it was that bad, although it was the first movie I ever saw where I actually _understood_ the concept of “naked lady wandering around detracting from the plot,” aka “gratuitous nudity.” Whether this was a matter of my impending psychological maturity or just too damn much naked lady in a non-porn movie, I will leave to the judgment of others. I saw it again, years later, and thought, “Wow, this movie is much, much worse than I remember. Hey, isn’t that the guy who plays Captain Picard as the psychiatrist?” (Yes, yes, I know. Patrick Stewart. And yes, it was. In one scene, he’s telepathically channeling the alien naked lady, and almost looks like he’s about to kiss Steve Railsback.) I have successfully sat through \*Spirit Of '76 \* a grand total of _once_. Tried several times after that, but never succeeded. Parts of it are quite funny, but taken as a whole, the movie is an incredible dog. With the mute button on, though, it’s quite a parade of cameo performances and interesting clothes and hairstyles; among the things I wondered about was the fact that David Cassidy doesn’t seem to have aged more than ten years or so since his Partridge Family days in this flick… ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/125 "2004-11-20T19:31:42Z")
Actually, “Can’t Stop the Music” was on a late night showing on AMC about a year ago… my wife and I caught the rousing finale and laughed ourselves silly. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/126 "2004-11-20T20:13:12Z")
I just bought a used copy of [Vice Squad](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084861/) on eBay. It’s about a prostitute (Season Hubley) who’s trying to get away from her sadistic pimp, Ramrod (Wings Hauser in an over-the-top-and-back-around performance). It also featues former MTV VJ Nina Blackwood as a prostitute who gets on the wrong side of Ramrod and his “pimp stick” (a wire coat hanger bent into a wicked tool of pain). IIRC, there’s a scene where the ladies of the evening are comparing recent customers and one of them delivers the classic line, “He was so big he had to get it hard in sections.” ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/127 "2004-11-20T20:19:38Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Actually, “Can’t Stop the Music” was on a late night showing on AMC about a year ago… my wife and I caught the rousing finale and laughed ourselves silly. Aw, booger. And I missed it! ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/128 "2004-11-20T20:38:09Z")
Run from the terror that is [The Beast of Yucca Flats](http://www.jabootu.com/beastyucca.htm) . A **54** min film that seems way too long! :eek: [Brain from Planet Arous](http://www.jabootu.com/bpa.htm) Gotta love those giant flying brains intent on galactic domination. [Robot Monster](http://www.jabootu.com/romon.htm) for possibly one of the worst monster costumes ever devised! A big guy in a gorrila suit wearing a deep-sea divers helmet with some ‘rabbit ear’ antenae sticking out the back does not appear to be a credible threat. 😃 Anyone who love these kind of films should head on over to [Jabootu](http://www.jabootu.com/) and browse through their reviews. The four articles tracing the decline of the Jaws series is worth the time. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ecks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bcef8e/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ecks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ecks)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/129 "2004-11-20T20:46:28Z")
I am the proud owner of the novelization of “Can’t stop the music”. When I was in grade school, someone donated a crate of them to the school; they were promptly consigned to the dumpster. Being a book lover, I snagged half a dozen. heh. Oh for bad movies, I nominate liquid sky. And renominate Zardoz. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/130 "2004-11-20T21:10:50Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > Remember these two con men? They managed to masquerade as movie-makers in the 1980’s…responsible forsuch gems as “SURF NAZIS MUST DIE”, and many other POS movies. Actually, they weren’t responsible for _Surf Nazis Must Die_. It was a TROMA movie. But I agree with their characterization as POS producers. _Lifeforce_, previously mentioned, is one of their movie. I actually prefer their _King Solomon’s Mine_ with Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone and the plastic vegetables. ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/131 "2004-11-20T21:17:34Z")
> [@Master Wang-Ka](#): > > I’ve been looking for a copy of \*Can’t Stop The Music \* for years. I have heard legends of its hysterical badness, and would know for myself. I saw a copy of it in my local video store last night, so it’s out there. I think I’ll rent it next time. Sounds to whacked-out to pass up. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/132 "2004-11-20T21:43:12Z")
Man, what heppened to her? I will always remmeber a giant billboard, visible from the Southeast Expressway (Boston, MA)-it featured her stunning, bare ass! (She wasn’t wearning even a thong). Is she still “acting”? And does she still have a dynamite ass? ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/133 "2004-11-20T21:52:30Z")
I nominate **Blademaster**. This came out when I was in high school, and my boyfriend at the time and I went to see it. We ended up beginning a MST3K dialogue that was picked up by the rest of the audience. Among the highlights are: Skulls on the ground, obviously made of plaster because the cavity behind the eye sockets was not empty. The hero is told to “Behold the evil in his eyes.” Cut to a shot of the villian, who obligingly opens his eyes wide, presumably so the audience can also behold the evil therein. At the climax of the movie, the hero sails to the rescue on a hanglider. Not a hanglider made of sticks and skins, mind you, as may have been appropriate for the setting. No, our hero sailed to the rescue in state-of-the-art, aluminum tubing and polyester fabric hanglider. When did he have the time to hit Bass Pro Shops, I wonder? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272/134 "2004-11-20T22:16:53Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > At the climax of the movie, the hero sails to the rescue on a hanglider. Not a hanglider made of sticks and skins, mind you, as may have been appropriate for the setting. No, our hero sailed to the rescue in state-of-the-art, aluminum tubing and polyester fabric hanglider. When did he have the time to hit Bass Pro Shops, I wonder? Reminds me of _Cave People_ on MST3K. That one IS made of skins, although where the primitive hero got the time and the know-how to make it (and the bombs he drops from it) is unexplained. Absolute hilarity ensues. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hysterically-awful-movies-spoilers/275272.md?page=6)