# I absolutely despise "the wife." **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 25, 2007, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406 "2007-06-25T23:14:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2007, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/21 "2007-06-25T23:46:01Z")
> [@VC03](#): > > I’m 27, and every Paris Hilton glasses-wearing, wannabe Sex in the City wench in my age range who wants to maintain the illusion that it’s “just a casual thing,” that she’s not completely head-over-heels dependent on her boyfriend will go out of her way to say “the boy,” as though she’s fully in control and isn’t reading pink-covered ChickLit books every day and “he’s not that into you” and Cosmo articles left and right, as though she isn’t just terrified that if she doesn’t get married by age 30, she’ll die old and fat and alone. Hmm. So when a guy refers to his wife or girlfriend as “the wife” or “the girl”, it’s a “fucking disrespectful” refusal “to treat that person with the smallest modicum of respect and humanity”. But when a woman refers to her boyfriend as “the boy”, it indicates that she’s “completely head-over-heels dependent” on him and “terrified that if she doesn’t get married by age 30, she’ll die old and fat and alone”. Well, that’s, um, interesting. I think my former practice of not giving this issue a second’s thought was the sensible way to go. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2007, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/22 "2007-06-25T23:46:59Z")
I always thought it was supposed to be said with irony. Like, “Hey guys, I’d love to go to the hockey with you, but ‘the wife’ doesn’t like me going out on weekend boozefests these days.” said more with a nudge and a wink. It’s a way of saying “sorry guys, I’ve got other responsibilities this weekend… namely the woman of my dreams”. It’s like feigining the whole “Oh noes, can’t go out! The ‘ball and chain’ is keeping me in tonight!” ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2007, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/23 "2007-06-25T23:48:31Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] Well, “the wife” just read this. From now on I have to refer to her in all threads as “The Center of My Existance and the Person Without Whom My Life Would Be Meaningless.” [/QUOTE] “Fuck puppet,” for short. ---
**Author:** ![Yag\_Rannavach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/858c86/32.png) [@Yag\_Rannavach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yag_Rannavach)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2007, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/24 "2007-06-25T23:50:08Z")
[QUOTE=NurseCarmen] It turns her into some sort of object instead of a person. I cut out the middleman and just call her “The Object”. [/QUOTE] Correction: **My** Object. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2007, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/25 "2007-06-25T23:52:06Z")
I don’t think “the OP” makes a good rant here. I am sure that the people who use “the wife” don’t find it objectionable (and most likely, neither do their the-wives). So there is no real disrespect intended or felt by the relevant parties. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2007, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/26 "2007-06-25T23:59:43Z")
Well I’m not sure I’m ready to give up saying "the wife " because you feel it’s disrespectful. Maybe it’s a generational thing or I have no class. When I say “The Wife” I say it like they do in that flick, …Highlander. “There can be only one” You know what I’m saying ? Maybe when you say it it’s more like “Hide the wife and grease the cats ass, John Q is on the way!” Or maybe not. Who the heck knows with you young whippersnappers. Oh, and by the way, Get the heck off my rocks!(we don’t have lawns in Vegas) Well Steve Wynn does. Rich pot licker. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/27 "2007-06-26T00:01:47Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] Well, “the wife” just read this. From now on I have to refer to her in all threads as “The Center of My Existance and the Person Without Whom My Life Would Be Meaningless.” Thanks. [/QUOTE] You dumbass. You let your wife get by the computer ? (Shhhhhh she’s coming!! sign off! sign off! ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/28 "2007-06-26T00:02:17Z")
Sorry, no cite, it was something I read a long LONG time ago, dunno where, but: The theory offered on “the/my wife” usage was that it reflected socioeconomic class, I think as applied to the British. Whatever the heck it was I dimly recall reading alleged that “the wife” was a lower/working class idiom and that the upper crust used “my wife”. Now, wasn’t that all helpful and stuff? ---
**Author:** ![sunacres](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@sunacres](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunacres)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/29 "2007-06-26T00:17:34Z")
[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy] Sorry, no cite, it was something I read a long LONG time ago, dunno where, but: The theory offered on “the/my wife” usage was that it reflected socioeconomic class, I think as applied to the British. Whatever the heck it was I dimly recall reading alleged that “the wife” was a lower/working class idiom and that the upper crust used “my wife”. Now, wasn’t that all helpful and stuff? [/QUOTE] I believe the correct working class term in Britain is “trouble and strife.” ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/30 "2007-06-26T00:19:01Z")
I’ve had people object to the use of ‘my wife’, telling me that it’s a possessive term and she isn’t to be regarded as chattel. You just can’t win. Of course, they’re fuckwits to get so worked up over their personal interpretation of an innocent phrase. What are we doing here again? ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/31 "2007-06-26T00:21:40Z")
I call my husband “the boy” occasionally. He can muster the same [dreamy but bewildered](http://www.scarygoround.com/cast.php) expression. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/32 "2007-06-26T00:23:42Z")
[QUOTE=Omegaman] Maybe it’s a generational thing or I have no class. [/QUOTE] Does that really have to be an either/or proposition because really, it could be both/and. Just sayin. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/33 "2007-06-26T00:25:45Z")
Well **my** wife agrees with the OP - and luckily, so do I. I’ve never heard anyone say “the girl” or “the boy” but we got married long before this nonsense started. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/34 "2007-06-26T00:36:18Z")
I hate “the OP”. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/35 "2007-06-26T00:52:18Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] I’ve had people object to the use of ‘my wife’, telling me that it’s a possessive term and she isn’t to be regarded as chattel. You just can’t win. [/QUOTE] Well, duh. The preferred term is “_a_ wife, to whom I happen to be married.” Check back frequently, though, because the word “wife” itself may soon be considered unacceptably sexist. I don’t say “the wife” myself, but not out of sensitivity; I just think it sounds stupid, like “my better half” or “the ol’ ball and chain.” I may use it, though, if I ever find myself wishing to subtly make clear that I am not a polygamist. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/36 "2007-06-26T00:56:34Z")
And remember, it’s pronounced “whiff.” Just to make sure that it’s the auditory equivalent of beating her with an iron. While it’s still on. And steaming. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/37 "2007-06-26T01:04:22Z")
So do I. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/38 "2007-06-26T01:25:19Z")
The last guy I dated used to call me “the boy.” So I started refering to him as “my old man.” That shut him up pretty quickly. ---
**Author:** ![Operation\_Ripper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/34f0e0/32.png) [@Operation\_Ripper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Operation_Ripper)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/39 "2007-06-26T01:32:28Z")
[QUOTE=Giraffe] Of course, that’s probably because the rest of the time I call her “that jizz-jar.” [/QUOTE] Hehe, reading this caused me to inadvertantly expell cranberry juice from a couple of orifices. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/40 "2007-06-26T01:58:11Z")
I could see “the wife” or “the husband,” but the boy and the girl sounds like someone who fetches you coffee. Small hijack: never ask the wife to “fetch” anything. Not even nicely. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406.md?page=3)