# I absolutely despise "the wife." **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 25, 2007, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406 "2007-06-25T23:14:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/59ef9b/32.png) [@Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_fight_the_hypothetical)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/41 "2007-06-26T02:12:50Z")
[QUOTE=Giraffe] “Fuck puppet,” for short. [/QUOTE] Thanks, asshole, for providing me with a term that there is no way in hell I can refrain from using thus ensuring a certain thumping from ‘the girlfriend’. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/42 "2007-06-26T02:21:58Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] Well, “the wife” just read this. From now on I have to refer to her in all threads as “The Center of My Existance and the Person Without Whom My Life Would Be Meaningless.” Thanks. [/QUOTE] My wife read this and we are now back to She who must be obeyed. Swell. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/43 "2007-06-26T02:30:38Z")
Getting worked up over how other people refer to their significant others seems sorta like letting someone else live rent-free inside one’s own head. At least that’s what the wife says. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/44 "2007-06-26T02:40:00Z")
After reading this thread, I am now four minutes older. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/45 "2007-06-26T02:43:29Z")
I always use “the girls” when I refer to [my bitches](http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinfeatherphotos/540823470/in/set-72157594473188521/) . Sailboat ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/46 "2007-06-26T02:51:08Z")
I told Mr. S when we got married that I would prefer that he didn’t refer to me as “the wife.” To my ears it’s in the same category as “the ball and chain,” etc. On the other hand, we started calling each other “dear” in a sarcastic sense, as in, “Yes, DEAR” – and now we do it for real. Go figure. ---
**Author:** ![MissGypsy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@MissGypsy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissGypsy)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/47 "2007-06-26T03:41:02Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] Well, “the wife” just read this. From now on I have to refer to her in all threads as “The Center of My Existance and the Person Without Whom My Life Would Be Meaningless.” Thanks. [/QUOTE] That is how I am going to sign all future e-mails to “the husband.” See here: "Husband, please pick up a gallon of milk and a pack of diapers on your way home. Love, The Center of Your Existence and the Person Without Whom Your Life Would Be Meaningless" I like it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/48 "2007-06-26T03:42:42Z")
I use “the boss” to refer to “the husband.” I use 'the wife," to describe myself in a deprecatory manner sometimes in the business. “Oh, I can’t do that, I’m just the wife.” (It will be noted that no one believes me.) What a waste of a 1000 post. Damn. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/49 "2007-06-26T03:53:03Z")
[QUOTE=MissGypsy] That is how I am going to sign all future e-mails to “the husband.” See here: "Husband, please pick up a gallon of milk and a pack of diapers on your way home. Love, The Center of Your Existence and the Person Without Whom Your Life Would Be Meaningless" I like it. 😃 [/QUOTE] Using “husband” in direct address is also pretty good. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/50 "2007-06-26T04:00:01Z")
I suppose it’s all in how you look at it. If you view calling her “the wife” as a way of distancing her then it’s bad. If you view it as a way of elevating her - as analogous to refering to “the President” or “the Queen” - then it’s good. And if you call her “my wife” to show intimacy, it’s good. If you do it to show a sense of ownership, it’s bad. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/51 "2007-06-26T04:01:36Z")
[QUOTE=VCO3] Come on, bro, if you’re going to do a driveby, at least go for “teh.” Or make a Lolcat, “I’m in Yr thread, shittin’ teh lame.” [/QUOTE] [All aboard the failboat.](http://www.dataspew.net/gallery/main.php?g2_view=core.ShowItem&g2_itemId=30668) ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/52 "2007-06-26T04:05:58Z")
I use “the wife” all the time, including in my posts, and will continue to do so. It’s not the least bit disrespectful, and I’ve never heard of anything so absurd. Perhaps the OP needs to seek out some sort of professional therapy. ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/53 "2007-06-26T07:06:54Z")
[QUOTE=NurseCarmen] I cut out the middleman and just call her “The Object”. [/QUOTE] I call her “The sex object.” Because every time I ask for sex, she objects. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/54 "2007-06-26T08:30:38Z")
Now if someone wants to object to sexist references to one’s spouse, look no further than the Japanese. Men often refer to their wives (one each, of course), they use _kanai_, the person in the house, and wives refer to their husbands as _shujin_ master. Of course, this being Japan and all, reality is much different than these words would seem to suggest. There is revenge for the women, though. They get lots of fun words for their husbands after the men retire, including _sodaigomi_ “large garbage” and another meaning “wet fallen leaves.” Damn, I’ve got a lot to look forward to. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/55 "2007-06-26T08:43:52Z")
[QUOTE=Linty Fresh] Sorry about that, **Giraffe** , but do you see how bad she is? Her name is a format-killing word. [/QUOTE] MUA’DIB! MUA’DIB! MUA’DIB! ---
**Author:** ![slaphead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@slaphead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slaphead)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/56 "2007-06-26T09:03:23Z")
[QUOTE=VCO3] Look, I understand that our sitcom-fueled toilet culture - the reason that “they hate our freedom” - shits on legitimate decency, love, and respect between people and glorifies mutual acrimony and misery. I get that we’re supposed to aspire to lives of hating our spouses, “the old ball and chain,” and that it’s funny and desirable to treat that person with the smallest modicum of respect and humanity. [/QUOTE] Sitcom-fuelled? The whole “trouble and strife”, “ball and chain” “her indoors” “better half” thing is as old as the hills. Do you also blame modern TV for the fact that turds are really stinky, and that rain is all wet and unpleasant? Maybe you should go and pick up an early Andy Capp collection for an idea of what things were like in the golden days of the late fifties. Personally I prefer to refer to my girlfriend as The Boss. She mentions weddings far too often as it is - I don’t want to encourage her. ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/57 "2007-06-26T10:31:23Z")
[QUOTE=FriarTed] MUA’DIB! MUA’DIB! MUA’DIB! [/QUOTE] _Finally_, someone gets it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/58 "2007-06-26T11:02:24Z")
[QUOTE=VCO3] I may just be a reactionary psychopath . . . [/QUOTE] Despite the fact that you’ve established that a long time ago, we nonetheless simply refer to you as “the moron.” ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/59 "2007-06-26T12:29:00Z")
[QUOTE=Linty Fresh] I sympathize, **VCO3** , but it takes too long to type in “The-fucking-hellspawn-wench-who’s-ruined-my-fucking-godforsaken-life-and-makes-me-pray-for-some-kind-stranger-to-break-into-my-house- and-drag-me-out-into-the-front-yard-and-out-of-the-goodness-of-his/hers/its-cold-black-heart-set-me-on-fire-and-as-I’m-writhing-there-in-flames- calling-out-to-my-god-shoot-me-twelve-or-thirteen-times-and-send-me-to-hell-with-a-smile-on-my-face”. So I just call her “The Wife” [/QUOTE] I had one of those once. I’ve since upgraded to The-most-wonderful-woman-in-the-world model. I call her “The Wife”. Just not to her face. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2007, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/60 "2007-06-26T13:33:52Z")
So let me get this straight. When my husband (The Dickhead) calls me “the wife” I should be pissed. Ok - got it. (When he calls me “the bitch” though, that’s ok, right? I just want to clarify.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406.md?page=4)