# I absolutely despise "the wife." **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 25, 2007, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406 "2007-06-25T23:14:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/161 "2007-06-30T05:56:02Z")
[QUOTE=Sierra Indigo] You would do that, wouldn’t you ya tosspot 😉 \ [/QUOTE] {Shaft voice} Damn right. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2007, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/162 "2007-07-01T15:53:23Z")
The wife! The wife! L’chaim! ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/163 "2007-07-03T03:32:15Z")
[QUOTE=Linty Fresh] Sorry about that, **Giraffe** , but do you see how bad she is? Her name is a format-killing word. [/QUOTE] Come on. You’re among friends here. Stop suppressing. Share. Tell us how you really feel. 😃 ( If it is any consolation at all, you just fucking nailed my marriage with that rant. Props. ) Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/164 "2007-07-03T10:20:41Z")
[QUOTE=Cartooniverse] Come on. You’re among friends here. Stop suppressing. Share. Tell us how you really feel. 😃 ( If it is any consolation at all, you just fucking nailed my marriage with that rant. Props. ) Cartooniverse [/QUOTE] At this time, I should probably point out that I was _totally_ joking with the above. I’m actually in a great marriage with a wonderful woman who laughed when I showed her this, before she whapped me upside the head. Even so, I actually feel kind of bad about having gone _quite_ that far for the laugh. I quite often find **Mrs. Fresh’s** interest in me about as straightforward and explainable as the Voynich Manuscript. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/165 "2007-07-03T14:17:20Z")
Oh. Man. Okay, so what’s that Whooshing sound I suddenly hear in my office? Apologies for the misunderstanding. Glad she’s fond of you. And stuff. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/166 "2007-07-03T17:24:10Z")
[QUOTE=Cartooniverse] Oh. Man. Okay, so what’s that Whooshing sound I suddenly hear in my office? Apologies for the misunderstanding. Glad she’s fond of you. And stuff. 😃 [/QUOTE] 😃😃 No sweat. I should have qualified that in my first post. She is pretty cool, and I’m not just saying that 'cause she told me she’s keeping tabs on this thread, and if I talk any more shit about her, she’s going to wait 'til I’m asleep, cut my critters off, and sew them on my back. Really!! I luv ya’, honey ☹ . ---
**Author:** ![BaneSidhe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c5a1d2/32.png) [@BaneSidhe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaneSidhe)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/167 "2007-07-03T17:33:53Z")
I call my husband ‘da Hubby’ because I’m on a forum where several of us posters have husbands with the same name, and it just stuck. ---
**Author:** ![BaneSidhe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c5a1d2/32.png) [@BaneSidhe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaneSidhe)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/168 "2007-07-03T17:34:56Z")
I call my husband ‘da Hubby’ because I’m on a forum where several of us posters have husbands with the same name, and it just stuck. It’s not meant and never will mean disrespect. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/169 "2007-07-03T19:37:33Z")
[QUOTE=Broomstick] Well, you see, I don’t _own_ my spouse. So… **my** car, **my** shoe, **my** left thumb… but “the husband” or “the wife” because you don’t own another person. [/QUOTE] (A lot of people have expressed this sentiment in this thread (with references to chattel and so on); I’m using **Broomstick** ’s version as an example and not picking on her specifically.) Oh, come on! Talk about semantic nitpicking. So none of you ever talk about “my mother,” “my aunt,” “my sister-in-law,” “my boss,” “my doctor,” “my lawyer,” “my neighbor”? “My brother, my captain, my king,” for the Tolkien geeks? In this sense, “my” doesn’t indicate literal possession as if the person is your slave. It means “this person has the named status in relationship to me.” It’s called the genitive case, not an ownership contract. On the other hand, I think it does convey an emotional sense of belonging. I belong to my husband just as he belongs to me. I know the OP can be a dunderhead, and although I personally don’t care for “the wife,” those of you who want to use it with your spouses can have at it with my blessing. But come up with a better reason for avoiding “my wife,” huh? Scarlett who loves HER husband with the burning fire of a thousand suns, but also owns a T-shirt that says “My next husband will be normal” ---
**Author:** ![Mellivora\_capensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/170 "2007-07-04T12:30:38Z")
[QUOTE=Scarlett67] (A lot of people have expressed this sentiment in this thread (with references to chattel and so on); … [/QUOTE] She read my post, she read my post! 😃 Seriously though, you have a good point. I guess it depends on the tone, and the culture. Regrettably we here south of the equator can be rather possessive at times, so I tend to get a little pedantic on the subject. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/171 "2007-07-04T12:50:25Z")
Can’t believe that nobody has said “'er indoors” ::Arthur Daley voice::: ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/172 "2007-07-04T15:13:29Z")
[QUOTE=chowder] Can’t believe that nobody has said “'er indoors” \ [/QUOTE] I’m guessing it’s because they realize how incredibly annoying “'im indoors” and “'er indoors” is. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/173 "2007-07-04T16:07:45Z")
If I absolutely despised “the wife” I’d soon be getting “the divorce”. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BlackNGold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@BlackNGold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackNGold)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/174 "2007-07-06T14:10:40Z")
[QUOTE=Ogre] I leaned back, and with a perfectly straight face, said, “I’m not really sure she’s good enough for me.” [/QUOTE] In one particular long-term relationship, whenever some (usually too-nosy female) person would ask why we weren’t married, my answer was always “I’m waiting for something better to come along”. End Of Conversation. After 14 years, something did 😃 FTR, I did propose at one point. The rejection of said proposal was the beginning of the end. Back to the drive-by OP, my preferred term for She Who Is Adored is “Good 'Ol What’s-Her-Name”. She has no doubt about how I really feel, and I think that’s the point. If you’re insecure about the relationship, little shit like this will irk you. But I can in no way understand getting worked up about what **other people** call each other. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/175 "2007-07-06T14:44:08Z")
[QUOTE=BlackNGold] \Back to the drive-by OP, my preferred term for She Who Is Adored is “Good 'Ol What’s-Her-Name”. She has no doubt about how I really feel, and I think that’s the point. If you’re insecure about the relationship, little shit like this will irk you. But I can in no way understand getting worked up about what **other people** call each other. [/QUOTE] My husband called me a disease once at a family party (you have to know him and his sense of humour to understand where this would have come from - I laughed out loud when he did it). I still bug him about it, saying I hoped that the people there knew him well enough to know horrible he is. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/176 "2007-07-06T15:27:49Z")
[QUOTE=Sierra Indigo] You would do that, wouldn’t you ya tosspot 😉 I call my husband “The Husband”. As well as “Hubby”, “My Hubby”, “Chris” and “Fuck you, Prick!” He calls me “Wife”, “The Wife”, “My Wife”, “Siobhan” and “You Crazy Lady” What we specifically call each other isn’t important. The way in which we call each other is the important thing. And he’s always got a lot of love in his voice for me. [/QUOTE] Just one point of clarification: Are your names Chris and Siobhan, respectively? ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/177 "2007-07-06T23:59:47Z")
[QUOTE=saoirse] Just one point of clarification: Are your names Chris and Siobhan, respectively? [/QUOTE] Yep, he’s Chris and I’m Siobhan. ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2007, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406/178 "2007-07-07T00:20:08Z")
C’mon, “The Wife” is a title. It indicates she’s acting with the full authority of Her Office. “Zak, can you go out tonight?” "Dunno, let me check with the Wife. I think we’re having dinner. " “Zak, where are you guys registered for baby stuff?” “Dunno, let me check with the Wife.” Similarly: “So, Rummy, can we invade somebody this week?” “Dunno, let me check with the President.” “So, Majority Leader Hoyer, how can we be spineless and ineffective this week?” “Dunno, let me check with the Speaker.” See? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-absolutely-despise-the-wife/409406.md?page=8)