# I actually want my cat to die. Actually die. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 6, 2013, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503 "2013-10-06T13:38:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2013, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/1 "2013-10-06T13:38:21Z")
I use up patience reserves dealing with my older kids’ inane questions and selfish petty concerns. I use up patience reserves helplessly trying to keep my younger kids from screaming bloody murder because they want to break things and I won’t let them. I use up patience reserves cleaning up completely unnecessary messes all over the house which everybody makes but me but no one seems to understand they could have either not made or dammit-cleaned-up-after-themselves. (Babies can’t help themselves. Kids we’re trying to train but that takes even more patience reserves. As for the other adult in the house, I shouldn’t discuss that in a public forum. She has a side to the story too I’m sure.) I get the babies bottled and bedded finally. I banish the kids to their room for the evening and let them fuck up whatever they want to fuck up up there so long as they’re quiet about it. I get some modicum of housework maintenance done, not enough to satisfy, just enough to make me feel overwhelmed enough to be grudgingly okay with allowing myself to feel like shit about how lazy I am. I sit down. I begin to maybe turn on a show or play a game. I start possibly to relax. “Meow.” Oh yeah, the _other_ mammal needs something to. God. Dammit. (Except by this point she’s already been fed and she just likes to try to see if she can trick us into feeding her again.) And it’s not fair to her. And even as I wish death upon her–actually, seriously wanting her to die, not an exaggeration–I also feel a kind of compassion because it’s completely not her fault. She’s just a damn cat. But god damnit, could she just die already? She’s 17 years old and in perfectly good health, says the vet, even in spite of her obesity. (Seems to be “hormonal,” vet has even signed off on that claim after we documented her diet.) Why can’t she be dead like most normal 17 year old enormously obese cats? Giving her away would be cruel to her and our children. I’m stuck with her. And my wife loves her very much and is very affectionate toward her so I just leave her alone and hate her from a distance, and I really, actually, want this cat to die. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2013, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/2 "2013-10-06T13:55:30Z")
I feel ya. I had a fish once that I really wanted to die. I bought it for the express purpose of watching it die, in fact. Our cat was getting elderly (and yes, obese, but otherwise healthy) and I knew she wouldn’t live forever, and realized that my daughter’s first experience with death was probably going to be this beloved damn cat. So I got a betta fish to kill for her first - less emotion attached to a new fish than an old cat, right? Damn fish lived 6 years. Cat died in 6 months. Maybe you should get a fish. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2013, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/3 "2013-10-06T14:29:44Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Maybe you should get a fish. “There was an old Frylock who swallowed a fish, he swallowed the fish to catch the cat (why fancy that! an annoying cat!) he swallowed the cat so his wife wouldn’t cry perhaps he’ll die…” I had a cat when I was little. She lived to be 21 and I was devastated when she died. She was my companion as I grew up. I just hope you can get some cat-enjoyment from seeing the enjoyment the ones you love get out of her. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2013, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/4 "2013-10-06T14:35:00Z")
[Die Cat Die](http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/koffinkats/diecatdie.html) > [@](#): > > Gear myself up with vodka and drugs > and a knife to plunge right in your chest > I cant wait to see the look on your face > Asking me why I just took your life > Carve you up in little pieces > Feed you to my dog > And should I feel bad? > Fuck no > > Die cat die, revenge is mine > What was the reason for this? > I swear I’ll find one > Die cat die, revenge is mine > Someday I swore I’d make you pay > And now the time is right > > I see your face and you’re smiling at me > Asking me how I’ve been > I hate the way you treat me like shit > I never was your friend > Crying out, and now you’ll know why ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2013, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/5 "2013-10-06T14:40:42Z")
Sounds like you have too many kids. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2013, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/6 "2013-10-06T14:51:07Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > Sounds like you have too many kids. Nah, too many cats. 😉 (But no seriously, I do have too many kids, but that’s how it is.) ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2013, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/7 "2013-10-06T17:16:43Z")
Put the cat into the kids room and close the door. Rotate nights if necessary to satisfy all the children. I totally get the frustration. CeltDog is my first experience with a companion-bred dog. I have always kept working dogs - German Shepherds and Huskies and such. With a German Shepherd, you sit down and pet it for 15 minutes ro so, and she’s ready to go do something else. Thanks Mom, nice little bonding session, I need to go check on that bone. With CeltDog, you could pet him for 2 hours, and when you try to stand up the. world. has. ended. He literally tries to keep his nose attached to the back of my left knee as I walk around the house. He needs to lay down on top of my legs any time I sit int he arm chair. He needs to be between me and any exit at all times, so any time I sit up or leave a room, or get out of bed I have to wait for him to wake up and get out of the way. I have trained more than 30 dogs in my life, but I’ve never run into anything as intransigent as this instinct of his to keep me close. I don’t want him to actually die. Yet. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2013, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/8 "2013-10-06T17:29:20Z")
The mama and the kids love the kitty. You love them, so you need to be good to the kitty. It’s not a brain-sucking devil-spawn sent to make your world a living hell on earth. It’s just a kitty. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2013, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/9 "2013-10-06T17:29:35Z")
I know where you are comming from frylock, my cat is 17 also and in excellent even robust health. She almost died a few months ago and I was kind of wishing she would but I did not want to see her suffer so I nursed her back to health kind of hoping I was just making her final days easier. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2013, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/10 "2013-10-06T18:00:15Z")
My cat drives me crazy too. I have a toddler wanting attention all day, and the goddamn minute she’s in bed the cat comes out from her hiding place wanting loves. I just want to knit. You seem to be in a bad spot right now. Not the first frustration-about-home-situation thread you’ve posted this week. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2013, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/11 "2013-10-06T18:02:02Z")
How old are your kids, **Frylock**? You sound like I felt when I had a toddler and an infant. And I didn’t even have a cat. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2013, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/12 "2013-10-06T18:20:49Z")
We have 7 cats. 6 are needy. 1 is just too stupid to die. The kids will grow up & leave, you hope. The critters grow up & get even more needy. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2013, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/13 "2013-10-06T18:27:54Z")
Slate [article](http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/07/kids_and_dogs_if_you_re_having_a_baby_do_not_get_a_puppy.html) telling you not to get a dog if you’re going to have a baby. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2013, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/14 "2013-10-06T18:49:27Z")
Question: Is this thread subject to the Cat Pictures Rule? ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2013, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/15 "2013-10-06T18:55:25Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Question: Is this thread subject to the Cat Pictures Rule? Answer: yes. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2013, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/16 "2013-10-06T19:13:43Z")
My neighbors have a cat of similar age, who in addition has diabetes. They love the cat, and treat the cat’s condition with injected insulin and frightfully expensive prescription foods. Their vet has been saying for about three years that she’s going to go any minute now. After a few glasses of Jameson one of them has admitted to me that she wishes the cat would hurry up and croak already. And then she feels awful that she says it. But really only that she said it out loud. These were supposed to be their pet-free easy to travel on a whim years. For my part, my ex moved out two years ago and left a fish tank that I’ve never wanted. For the first eighteen months or so I kept up with water changes and cleaning andpH testing and all the tank chores. When my son was a toddler and had goldfish I couldn’t keep them alive. Now I have two tetras and a blue gourami that are at least 4 years old, and seem to be thriving despite months of half-assed tank care. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2013, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/17 "2013-10-06T21:31:48Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > Slate [article](http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/07/kids_and_dogs_if_you_re_having_a_baby_do_not_get_a_puppy.html) telling you not to get a dog if you’re going to have a baby. Holy crap that was hilarious! > [@](#): > > A friend of mine once told me that before he had a kid, he would have run into a burning building to save his cats. Now that he has a kid, he would happily drown the cats in the bathtub if it would help his son take a longer nap. I know, I know, but really, if you don’t have children and pets then just save your breath, OK? You’ll. Find. Out. :D:D:D ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2013, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/18 "2013-10-06T21:46:16Z")
I am less of a dogs-are-my-substitute-kids person and more of a kids-grow-up-and-leave-but-I-will-always-have-dogs person. But still, when I had a new baby and two dogs, suddenly my dogs hated each other because I had less than zero energy for them. I could not blame them but I did anyway. I gave one away to my sister (who had older kids – perfect match) and the other, who was my favorite and no trouble at all, lived out his days with us. Then I didn’t get another dog until my daughter was eight. As for cats, my blind deaf incontinent but still ready to yowl or vomit whenever it was least opportune 20 year old cat who could not be brushed much less her claws clipped without bloodshed (mine), well, she got a little boost into cat heaven. I told her 20 was my limit and I meant it. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2013, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/19 "2013-10-06T22:04:41Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > How old are your kids, **Frylock**? You sound like I felt when I had a toddler and an infant. And I didn’t even have a cat. Hah. It sounds like one of the (sometimes) secret curses of middle-age. Everybody needs you. I can relate. You are the meat in the sandwich and squeezed in there pretty tight. Then the day comes, sooner than you expect, when you’ve got time for yourself. What _they_ don’t tell you comes along with all that caregiving is that by the time you’re done with it you are conditioned. Not only is it a habit but you NEED it. You go on vacation and find yourself following families around hoping the toddler drops her toy or binkie so you can hand it back and get a babysmile. You sit alone at night and wonder why nobody needs you. Didn’t you do a good enough job? Were you being taken advantage of? Where’s yours? You find yourself wandering around in libraries looking for homeless people seeking shelter from the cold, sidling up to them and saying things like, “Hi, uh. Er, do you need any help or anything?” You make a nuisance of yourself with your friends at the senior citizens center by complaining about all your aches and pains but nobody cares because they’ve all got them too. You volunteer at the Human Society and all the kitties there hiss and claw when you try to clean their cages. So, you lucky person, hug those kids and direct those little lives and pet the damn cat and count your blessings. When you’re all done, try to go out and play. Just try. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2013, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/20 "2013-10-06T23:24:47Z")
You may be right **Tethered** but I won’t believe it til I see it. This solidly committed introvert (and his solidly committed introvert wife) intend to enjoy our fantasized isolation 20 years from now like we’ve never enjoyed anything else. I mean, we love our kids of course. But we’re kicking 'em out at the slightest hint that they can fend for themselves. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503.md?page=2)