# I actually want my cat to die. Actually die. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 6, 2013, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503 "2013-10-06T13:38:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2013, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/21 "2013-10-06T23:36:11Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > You may be right **Tethered** but I won’t believe it til I see it. This solidly committed introvert (and his solidly committed introvert wife) intend to enjoy our fantasized isolation 20 years from now like we’ve never enjoyed anything else. > > I mean, we love our kids of course. But we’re kicking 'em out at the slightest hint that they can fend for themselves. HahHa. I’m glad I’m not the only parent who feels this way! Even though it probably doesn’t make you feel any better, this thread made my day. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2013, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/22 "2013-10-07T03:00:39Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > I mean, we love our kids of course. But we’re kicking 'em out at the slightest hint that they can fend for themselves. Are you ready for the scariest secret of all, this being Halloween month and all? They move back in. :eek: Ten times. :eek: :eek: ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2013, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/23 "2013-10-07T03:45:26Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > I mean, we love our kids of course. But we’re kicking 'em out at the slightest hint that they can fend for themselves. I fantasize daily about the moment this will occur. You are not alone, my friend. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2013, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/24 "2013-10-07T04:30:31Z")
> [@Tethered\_Kite](#): > > Are you ready for the scariest secret of all, this being Halloween month and all? > > They move back in. :eek: > > Ten times. :eek: :eek: Change the locks? Move? Cats can be a true pain-in-the-ass. My cat does three things these days - eat, sleep, and pester me to play with her. I’m going to miss her terribly when she’s gone, though. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2013, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/25 "2013-10-07T04:47:25Z")
The [perfect song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU9yrP-5Omw) for this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2013, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/26 "2013-10-07T06:01:54Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > Holy crap that was hilarious! Be sure to read the comments too. They are scathing. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2013, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/27 "2013-10-07T16:47:59Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Nah, too many cats. 😉 > > (But no seriously, I do have too many kids, but that’s how it is.) I was once told by someone working day care that the perfect number of children to have is one less than the number you’ve already got. I decided it wasn’t perfectly true, but it was true enough. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2013, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/28 "2013-10-07T22:45:55Z")
Cat one got out and brought home a mouse for me. Cat two was too lazy to jump the baby fence to the kitchen where her litter box is located so she decided to pee on a sock in the guest bedroom. Multiple times. I feel your pain. ---
**Author:** ![bldysabba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@bldysabba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bldysabba)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2013, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/29 "2013-10-08T02:11:11Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > I was once told by someone working day care that the perfect number of children to have is one less than the number you’ve already got. I decided it wasn’t perfectly true, but it was true enough. Negative one child? Sperm donation methinks. ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2013, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/30 "2013-10-08T02:30:30Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > \(But no seriously, I do have too many kids, but that’s how it is.) Geez how did that happen ya spose? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2013, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/31 "2013-10-08T03:28:50Z")
So do I. ---
**Author:** ![Turpentine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Turpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turpentine)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2013, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/32 "2013-10-08T13:54:47Z")
You could always poison the cat. Or maybe it could accidentally escape and get lost? Or you could find a feral cat with feline leukemia virus or infectious peritonitis and kitty AIDS and let them play with your cat for a spell. Then you wouldn’t have an annoyingly healthy cat anymore. I guess you’re kind of stuck with the kids, though 😛 ---
**Author:** ![LauraC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@LauraC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LauraC)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2013, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/33 "2013-10-08T15:48:25Z")
Please don’t do anything to the cats! You can give them away to people who want them, and the children too! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/34 "2013-10-11T14:09:26Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > Put the cat into the kids room and close the door. Rotate nights if necessary to satisfy all the children. If the kids are destroying things, this might work on two levels 😉 (just kidding, mostly - I **love** cats and would never want to harm one, though the idea of teaching kitty to fly crossed my mind a few times when ours would wake us up early on the weekends because they were such SWEET KITTIES WHO WERE STARRRRRRRRRRRVING). > [@TruCelt](#): > > I totally get the frustration. … > With CeltDog, you could pet him for 2 hours, and when you try to stand up the. world. has. ended. He literally tries to keep his nose attached to the back of my left knee as I walk around the house. He needs to lay down on top of my legs any time I sit int he arm chair. He needs to be between me and any exit at all times, so any time I sit up or leave a room, or get out of bed I have to wait for him to wake up and get out of the way. > … We neither own, nor are owned by, a dog. But a couple years back we dog-sat for a friend’s shar-pei when they were out of town. She was a very people-oriented dog, and the times they tried boarding her somewhere, she became so despondent she got very sick. As I knew her fairly well, I offered to watch her the next time they travelled. Now, bear in mind, she’d just been Abandoned By Her Real People and I was the closest thing to familiar - but she followed me **everywhere**. We didn’t let her sleep in the bedroom with us, but she was right outside that door, mourning, the entire night. I dozed off on the couch at one point and got a wet nose in my face because hey, I might be dead, right? I went to the grocery store and apparently she whined for quite a while after I Abandoned Her (despite my kids being there to offer her plenty of attention). I could not walk 10 feet without her getting up and following me. It was flattering, sort of, but I imagine it would have gotten real old before much longer. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503/35 "2013-10-11T16:26:10Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > The [perfect song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU9yrP-5Omw) for this thread. [Ummmm nope.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKG6UYROlzw) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-actually-want-my-cat-to-die-actually-die/670503.md?page=1)