# I agree with Singledad!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 30, 2000, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-agree-with-singledad/17652 "2000-04-30T03:57:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-agree-with-singledad/17652/21 "2000-05-01T16:29:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > It’s unfortunate when a person’s cynicism cause her to suspect and disparage sincerity as inherently dishonest. Such a person puts herself in a double bind, where only hypocrisy and deception are considered “honest”… > > But when you’ve rejected the apparently sincere, respectful and emotional men out of hand, don’t then complain to me about how all men are cold lying bastards who treat you like dirt. > \*\* I don’t believe I have ever described men as being cold lying bastards. I am quite aware that there are many men out there who only wish to treat their women well, and are able to appreciate the beauty of the soul and intellect as well as of the body. I happen to be married to one, and I am happy to take him at his word whenever he expresses his love and respect for me. However, when such protestations are made by a new or casual aquaintance, who has no actions to back up his words, then I really think a healthy dose of skepticism is a valuable survival asset for a woman. Again, I don’t doubt you mean what you say, SingleDad, and it really is wonderful that you truly feel that way, but there are many men out there who say the exact same thing and don’t mean it, and the consequences of taking those men at face value can be much worse than simply feeling like a fool. ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-agree-with-singledad/17652/22 "2000-05-01T16:32:02Z")
Just out of curiousity, SingleDad, how many supermodels have you actually met and interacted with on a social or professional level, providing you with sufficient information to determine that they are merely empty shells? If the answer is “zero,” or even “one” or “two,” I submit that you are equally guilty of the superficiality of which you accuse others who chase outwardly beautiful women; and being overly dismissive of women who are physically attractive and capitalize on it to the best of their abilities. It’s no more rational to dismiss Cindy Crawford out of hand as not worth your time than it is the woman in the corner cubicle. ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-agree-with-singledad/17652/23 "2000-05-01T17:20:36Z")
I still believe in you, SingleDad. And I like you too. Please don’t stop being who you are. I quite enjoy reading your posts, and I keep hoping that Mr Bear will read them too, and work on opening up to me more. I know how much he cares, but he has a hard time saying the words sometimes. Why did this turn into beat up on SingleDad thread??? All because he is honest enough to share how he really feels. I think this is very sad, and unworthy of this board. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-agree-with-singledad/17652/24 "2000-05-01T17:27:48Z")
Don’t take it personally Dad. I have already pledged my eternal love to you. I feel like I know you, so when you say such nice things, I believe everything you say. However. . . If a stranger said the same things to me in a barroom type atmosphere, the cynic would just leap out from within me and my bullshit-o-meter would start beeping. But, if he really was sincere, I’m sure he’d convince me by continuing to be sincere. I hope I could be that openminded IRL. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-agree-with-singledad/17652/25 "2000-05-01T18:21:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Don’t take it personally Dad. I have already pledged my eternal love to you. I feel like I know you, so when you say such nice things, I believe everything you say. \*\* aww… how sweet 🙂 > [@](#): > > \*\* however… > If a stranger said the same things to me in a barroom type atmosphere, the cynic would just leap out from within me and my bullshit-o-meter would start beeping. > \*\* But a guy on the internet posting to a message board… now HIM I would pledge my eternal love too!! _LOL_ Sorry. Not trying to be mean or a cynic but I thought that was funny. ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-agree-with-singledad/17652/26 "2000-05-01T18:37:04Z")
> [@](#): > > I’ve made the conscious decision to be as sincere and honest as I can be, and to accept the appearance of sincerity and honesty from other people at face value. Yes, I’m often fooled, but I would rather be a fool than a cynic. > > I know that this decision filters out 90% of potential lovers, the ones who find apparent sincerity inherently suspect. I’m happy with such a filter; It’s a waste of my time to climb that hill and overcome deep initial suspicion. Ditto SingleDad. Don’t worry, this is the _best_ policy. It will pay off in spades when it happens. By the way, may I use this as my sig? > [@](#): > > \*\* I’m often fooled, but I would rather be a fool than a cynic. \*\* Who says you’re not a poet? ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-agree-with-singledad/17652/27 "2000-05-01T18:41:59Z")
I believe you SingleDad. And thank you. ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-agree-with-singledad/17652/28 "2000-05-01T18:42:58Z")
I believe you SingleDad. And thank you. ---
**Author:** ![SingleDad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SingleDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SingleDad)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-agree-with-singledad/17652/29 "2000-05-01T18:44:58Z")
I didn’t disparage supermodels, I disparaged those who pursue supermodel _looks_, and by extension judge “ordinary” women as inferior on that basis alone (e.g. Jack Nicholson’s character in _Carnal Knowlege_). FTR, I have dated a couple of women who were professional models. They were certainly good looking, but my attraction was based on our emotional connection, not my desire to possess the object of their external beauty. I read the women on this thread who have expressed “crushes” or “eternal love” as speaking rhetorically, not literally. After all, I have said nothing to most of them personally; we don’t have a personal relationship. Rather they are indicating their approval of my point of view in rather charming terms. Also, I’m not expressing my views as a line to get someone in the sack. I’m just posting them here on the message board, because I hold them. I wouldn’t get into a romantic/sexual relationship with someone merely because they admire my philosophy, only because our personal relationship had grown to the point where romance and sexual love become the best way to express our closeness. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-agree-with-singledad/17652/30 "2000-05-01T18:46:43Z")
Phil, one could say (and I will) that SingleDad’s argument has less to do with the individual personalities of supermodels than it does with society’s blind acceptance of them as a legitimate scale by which to judge personal beauty. No offense to the models out there, but when they become an unrelenting symbol of our society’s inflexible idea of what it takes to be a successful, desirable woman, they’re going to catch some heat. And I’m not just saying that because SingleDad is using my film genre response as a sig line. ---
**Author:** ![SingleDad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SingleDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SingleDad)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-agree-with-singledad/17652/31 "2000-05-01T18:46:43Z")
I didn’t disparage supermodels, I disparaged those who pursue supermodel _looks_, and by extension judge “ordinary” women as inferior on that basis alone (e.g. Jack Nicholson’s character in _Carnal Knowlege_). FTR, I have dated a couple of women who were professional models. They were certainly good looking, but my attraction was based on our emotional connection, not my desire to possess the object of their external beauty. I read the women on this thread who have expressed “crushes” or “eternal love” as speaking rhetorically, not literally. After all, I have said nothing to most of them personally; we don’t have a personal relationship. Rather they are indicating their approval of my point of view in rather charming terms. Also, I’m not expressing my views as a line to get someone in the sack. I’m just posting them here on the message board, because I hold them. I wouldn’t get into a romantic/sexual relationship with someone merely because they admire my philosophy, only because our personal relationship had grown to the point where romance and sexual love become the best way to express our closeness. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-agree-with-singledad/17652/32 "2000-05-01T19:32:28Z")
But a guy on the internet posting to a message board… now HIM I would pledge my eternal love too!! _LOL_ Sorry. Not trying to be mean or a cynic but I thought that was funny. \*\* [/QUOTE] Now, now B\_line. Do you really believe that I’m about to start stalking SingleDad. And do you really think you know the girls your picking up at a bar better than you know the people that you chat with every day on this message board? ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-agree-with-singledad/17652/33 "2000-05-01T22:14:20Z")
This whole thread confuses me. At any rate, SingleDad seems to me to be a very honest and straight forward person. He sees past the outer self and looks to the inner self of a woman. I think that is cool. Not many men are like that. BTW, SingleDad and I have talked many times, so my knowledge goes beyond the boards. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-agree-with-singledad/17652/34 "2000-05-01T22:21:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Now, now B\_line. Do you really believe that I’m about to start stalking SingleDad. And do you really think you know the girls your picking up at a bar better than you know the people that you chat with every day on this message board? > \*\* Actually I was just thinking about that and well… I am the LAST one who should be making such remarks! I have been living with a girl for the last 3 years that I met on chat! I have a tendancy to forget that. Slap me silly and tell me I like it! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-agree-with-singledad/17652.md?page=1)