# I (allegedly) Write Like... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 15, 2010, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828 "2010-07-15T20:18:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828/81 "2010-07-19T05:01:27Z")
Let’s nip this in the bud, shall we? [I Write Like is glorified advertising for a vanity publishing company.](http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/012502.html) ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828/82 "2010-07-19T05:06:44Z")
> [@LeeshaJoy](#): > > Let’s nip this in the bud, shall we? [I Write Like is glorified advertising for a vanity publishing company.](http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/012502.html) We’re well aware of that (see post #36). That’s at least part of why we’re abusing it, mocking it, and wasting its bandwidth. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828/83 "2010-07-19T12:18:36Z")
I’m not impressed. It thought this > [@](#): > > It’s time to up the ante in this jib-jab boolante. With the vim vam vibaroo for the sliggedy slag, bib, bab, sniggedi. Valflask of the sheem, valapattoo super smeisi. Japper smass, bibber bass. > > Ah kolta, spek bolta. When everything is great it is NOT AS GREAT AS IT SHOULD BEEHIVE. You may be asking YOURSELF beka boodega “how is this happening? what am I Reading, UK?” but let me tell you asmeoeooo. It is not as thought, it is as it is written, and written it shall become. I said to Anthony, UP THE ANTE but he will not listen. A plook, a beedg, a smockedi (the galantio variety, nonetheless - I will not be held responsible for your irresponsibilities responded to). > > The Internet is far too great for this porpoise, and when mudkips become abundant, it shall overfloweth into the ether, and havok shall ensuzie. Because of thistle, many hardworking American coffees have started to die - tie dye. Greentext, schmeentext - aah, but it is honorable! It is venerable! It is diseasable! Not so, counter-clockwise to popular belief systems? Not so. Make likewise a telescope and shuttle up, he would tell me. He would proceedings of the time, and it weren’t over till it was overboard, and that was as much as it could doorhandle. > > “I put on my robe and wizard hat”, he whiskered timidly lacrosse the audience. I reptiled to him, with a stern noise. “I put on my globe and gizzard spats”. Spruce Glee, the nigh-unknown twin brother of Bruce Lee’s cousin - Scuse Me - hampered stockingly towards me. As I swung my mighty fallacy, he was gone. Dead. Blind as a baseball bat and twice as lifeless. > > Burst intro treats, smeets, reeks, pleats, deeks deeks deeks deek deeks, father was verily upsettled. Smash the place, trash the place, but DO NOT, under ANY circus glances, crash the place. Decide to deride, or surmise to surprise. was like Stephen King. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828/84 "2010-07-19T12:33:17Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > I’m not impressed. It thought this > was like Stephen King. :dubious: Yes - it reads more like Robert Anton Wilson. Only it make more sense. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828/85 "2010-07-19T12:38:43Z")
S’okay, it thought this > [@](#): > > You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It’s just common sense. was like Isaac Asimov. A couple of my own posts were compared to Mark Twain and Margaret Atwood, which is quite flattering, but I bet Isaac would be fuming if he had the quoted text above compared to his work. Were he alive to fume, that is. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828/86 "2010-07-19T14:20:33Z")
P.G. Wodehouse and Stephen King. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828/87 "2010-07-19T14:59:31Z")
Who can forget _This Tale of Unspeakable Horror Seems Awfully Familiar, Jeeves_? ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828/88 "2010-07-19T15:22:24Z")
Who the hell is Stephenie Meyer, and why does she write like me? ETA: My Google-fu says she’s the one responsible for the literary debacle of _Twilight_. I think I’m gonna vomit… :hurk: ---
**Author:** ![minor7flat5](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minor7flat5/32/258_2.png) [@minor7flat5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minor7flat5)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828/89 "2010-07-19T15:38:49Z")
I submitted some short narratives, two-three pages at a shot. 2 - Cory Doctorow 2 - David Foster Wallace 1 - Ian Fleming 1 - Mark Twain 1 - Ernest Hemingway Never heard of DFW outside this thread. Never heard of Cory Doctorow either. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828/90 "2010-07-19T16:28:34Z")
Four old Livejournal posts in a row successively came out as: Chuck Palahniuk H.P. Lovecraft James Joyce Isaac Asimov Yeah, I’m thinking this is _not_ the most rigorous analytical tool ever. ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828/91 "2010-07-19T17:02:02Z")
Hmmm… The first submission said I write like William Gibson. Second chapter of the same piece- William Shakespeare. Um… alrighty then. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828/92 "2010-07-19T17:17:57Z")
I typed in: There was a young man from Kent Whose cock was crooked and bent He was having some trouble So stuck it in double And instead of coming he went. Apparently, Robert Louis Stevenson wrote limericks. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828/93 "2010-07-19T18:31:27Z")
I posted a snippet of a post I’d made about Elton John in which I said something about him fighting his demons. The word ‘demons’ apparently caused \*I Write Like \*to decide I write like H.P. Lovecraft. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828/94 "2010-07-19T18:45:05Z")
J.D. Salinger. I think I’ll go seclude myself now. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828/95 "2010-07-20T13:26:10Z")
[Has anybody seen this?](http://iwl.me/) You enter a sample of your writing, and this site purports to tell you what famous author you emulate. From 18 samples, I got 6 David Foster Wallace, 4 Cory Doctorow, 3 Stephen King, and one each of Chuck Palahniuk, Margaret Mitchell, Kurt Vonnegut, \*(_cringe_) \*Dan Brown, and \*(_double cringe_) \*Stephanie Meyer. No idea how this thing reaches its conclusions. As a control, I put in six random pieces from a certain columnist you may have heard of, and it brought up six different names, 2 of which overlapped mine. So I dunno, but maybe I’ll go read some David Foster Wallace and see if I recognize myself. ---
**Author:** ![multimediac17](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/839c29/32.png) [@multimediac17](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/multimediac17)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828/96 "2010-07-20T13:29:15Z")
I got Cory Doctorow, who I’ve never heard of before now, but he seems like an interesting guy. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828/97 "2010-07-20T13:47:19Z")
I merged **Wheelz** ’s new OP into this thread. For various pieces I’ve gotten Dan Brown, Chuck Pahlaniuk, Stephen King, one Margaret Atwood. A couple of times I entered a full chapter or story and got one answer, then entered a smaller piece of the same sample and got a different answer. I just entered one of my brother’s college essays and it returned David Foster Wallace. The good news is that I entered a chunk of David Foster Wallace’s New York Times article about Roger Federer and it concluded that Wallace wrote like himself. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828/98 "2010-07-20T14:27:08Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I merged **Wheelz** ’s new OP into this thread. Oops; I’m usually better at ruling out a duplicate thread. Anyway, I perused a couple of short David Foster Wallace pieces, kind of liked them, and thought “That’s not a bad guy to be compared to.” Then I came back here to see that _everybody_ writes like David Foster Wallace! D’oh! ---
**Author:** ![chrisk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@chrisk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chrisk)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828/99 "2010-07-20T15:18:12Z")
I have to say, this seems like a cool distraction if nothing else: I sent in 16 different writing samples of my fiction that happened to be on my flash drive today, and got back 11 different authors: **David Foster Wallace - 2 matches** The case of the wizard’s vice (fantasy-mystery) A very short journal exercise I did for Hamilton Writer’s group **Chuck Palahniuk - 2 matches** Samantha Brussard and the Wolves (fantasy drama) An ‘archetype’ exercise that I did for Hamilton Writer’s group, also starring Samantha Brussard. Interesting. **H. P. Lovecraft - 2 matches** Love will last forever, chapter 1 (Fan fiction, drama) Foster Brother (Fan fiction, short romance) **Ian Fleming - 2 matches** Love will last forever, chapter 37 (Fan fiction, drama) Alien in Metropolis (Fan fiction, suspense) **James Joyce - 2 matches** Devin and the distinctive sweater, my entry into the Straight Dope flash fiction contest. (Spy spoof) Starter exercise from Hamilton writers **JD Salinger - 1 match** EEC Survey (Science fiction, puzzle story) **Arthur C Clarke - 1 match** Landing (Incomplete millitary sci-fi) **Kurt Vonnegut - 1 match** Revised start of ‘The Long Way Home’ (Fantasy YA) **Cory Doctorow - 1 match** Fortune cookie exercise from Brian Henry workshop **Jack London - 1 match** Dragon’s prey, chapter 1. (Fan fiction, thriller) **Douglas Adams - 1 match** Valentine’s day story written for Toronto Buffy fan club. Do other people want to share the results for their flash fiction entries here? I’m pleased that I hit the Douglas Adams once, and 2 Ian Flemings and an Arthur C Clarke ain’t chopped liver. Lovecraft, Salinger, Joyce, and Jack London are cool in a ‘well, I never thought of them’ way. Disappointed that I didn’t get an Asimov though. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828/100 "2010-07-20T15:25:34Z")
Who is this James Joyce character? He any good? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-allegedly-write-like/546828.md?page=6)