# I almost fell into the toilet at work this morning **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 17, 2012, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-fell-into-the-toilet-at-work-this-morning/613161 "2012-02-17T17:30:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-fell-into-the-toilet-at-work-this-morning/613161/21 "2012-02-17T23:19:27Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > The Navy is still a predominantly male institution, right? And men use the toilet with the seat up significantly more often than with the seat down. If the Navy is going to have any standard position for the toilet seat at all, then, it makes sense for it to be up. > > Ever notice how, if a woman doesn’t notice the seat’s up and sits on the bare porcelain, it’s the man’s fault, and if a man doesn’t notice the seat’s down and splashes on the seat, it’s also the man’s fault? Methinks there’s a double standard, here. I’d prefer to hold _everyone_ responsible for making sure the seat is in the appropriate position before using it. Guys can also use the toilet in a down position, though. They frequently have to, while taking a dump. You might have an argument if guys put the toilet seat up \*every time \*they use the bathroom, but they don’t. It’s not a 50/50 split of guys put the seat up/girls put the seat down. The obvious solution is to install a urinal in your home (and never sit down on a public toilet without looking at it first). ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-fell-into-the-toilet-at-work-this-morning/613161/22 "2012-02-17T23:42:52Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > The obvious solution is to install a urinal in your home (and never sit down on a public toilet without looking at it first). The obvious solution is to check the position of the seat before you sit. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![missinformation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@missinformation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missinformation)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-fell-into-the-toilet-at-work-this-morning/613161/23 "2012-02-18T00:41:34Z")
Look before you leap…and of course, always do the inspection and the massive toilet papering of the seat before your tushie comes near the toilet… The last time I took a dunk was when I first moved in with my stepfather, when I was 5. He was not used to having anyone else live in the house, and left the seat up…he learned his lesson when I stormed out of the bathroom, into the living room, with a look of indignation on my face and let him know I was not pleased…he was trying to hold back his laughter, but he apologized and told me he would be more careful the next time… ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-fell-into-the-toilet-at-work-this-morning/613161/24 "2012-02-18T01:09:50Z")
Circa mid 90’s, was really drunk at hole-in-the-wall bar, went to bathroom and accidentally dropped my wallet into the toilet. This was at a redneck joint fashioned after a cheap log cabin and was aptly named The Timbers. I would like to have a cool story to tell, went into the bathroom, discovered George Michael in there, had to get my wallet out to pay for sex. The truth is though was only just cking to see how much money I had left, when suddenly overcome with a lack of incoordination, lost my balance. Victim of yet another drunken dumbfuck attack. ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-fell-into-the-toilet-at-work-this-morning/613161/25 "2012-02-18T19:05:14Z")
I also almost fell in the toilet this past week. It was on Wednesday. I had just gotten to school and I was really tired. I stopped in the bathroom first thing (love the nice clean bathroom first thing in the morning). I walked into the stall and went to turn around (with my bag on my back) so I’d be facing the right way. I tripped over my own feet and my heavy bag carried me backward so that I almost fell in the damn toilet. Grabbing on to the toilet paper dispenser is the only thing that kept me from falling in. I hadn’t even had a chance to secure the door yet but luckily no one else was in there that early so no one saw me make an ass of myself. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-fell-into-the-toilet-at-work-this-morning/613161/26 "2012-02-18T20:05:16Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > Unless you open the entry door/exit door/stall door while holding a sanitary tissue, and turn on the faucet/flush while holding a sanitary tissue, you’re grosser. > > There’s a couple bitches here at my office who shit all over the paper ass-gasket, then don’t flush it. Those things cost more lives than they save. Indeed, I’m more concerned about getting bacteria on my fingers while placing the ass-gasket on the seat than getting them on my ass from a gasket-less seat—_fingers-to-mouth_ is more frequent than _ass-to-mouth_…at least for some of us. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2012, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-fell-into-the-toilet-at-work-this-morning/613161/27 "2012-02-19T01:00:49Z")
Thankfully the act of falling into a toilet for me has never coincided with particularly digusting contents. Spitting into a toilet, not so much. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2012, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-fell-into-the-toilet-at-work-this-morning/613161/28 "2012-02-19T10:48:16Z")
> [@Tibby or Not Tibby](#): > > Indeed, I’m more concerned about getting bacteria on my fingers while placing the ass-gasket on the seat than getting them on my ass from a gasket-less seat—_fingers-to-mouth_ is more frequent than _ass-to-mouth_…at least for some of us. 🙂 And the less said about fingers to ass to mouth, the better. :eek: 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Gymnopithys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/fbc32d/32.png) [@Gymnopithys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gymnopithys)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2012, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-fell-into-the-toilet-at-work-this-morning/613161/29 "2012-02-19T12:18:54Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > The obvious solution is to check the position of the seat before you sit. 😉 The obvioush sholution ish to check the position of the sheat before you shit. (Thatch the way shome people shpeak). ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2012, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-fell-into-the-toilet-at-work-this-morning/613161/30 "2012-02-19T12:25:42Z")
> [@missinformation](#): > > Look before you leap. I always spell this “Look before you leak.” ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2012, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-fell-into-the-toilet-at-work-this-morning/613161/31 "2012-02-19T18:39:01Z")
You know, this argument is the very reason why I pee in the sink… ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2012, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-fell-into-the-toilet-at-work-this-morning/613161/32 "2012-02-19T19:21:02Z")
> [@Gymnopithys](#): > > The obvioush sholution ish to check the position of the sheat before you shit. > (Thatch the way shome people shpeak). Shoopuf? ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-fell-into-the-toilet-at-work-this-morning/613161/33 "2012-02-20T03:54:36Z")
Almost? This is why the world economy is flagging. People can’t be bothered to see tasks through to completion anymore. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2012, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-fell-into-the-toilet-at-work-this-morning/613161/34 "2012-02-20T06:09:04Z")
> [@the lone cashew](#): > > Circa mid 90’s, was really drunk at hole-in-the-wall bar, went to bathroom and accidentally dropped my wallet into the toilet. This was at a redneck joint fashioned after a cheap log cabin and was aptly named The Timbers. > > I would like to have a cool story to tell, went into the bathroom, discovered George Michael in there, had to get my wallet out to pay for sex. The truth is though was only just cking to see how much money I had left, when suddenly overcome with a lack of incoordination, lost my balance. Victim of yet another drunken dumbfuck attack. So was the seat up or down? 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-fell-into-the-toilet-at-work-this-morning/613161.md?page=1)