# I Almost Saw a Child Die Last Saturday **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 6, 2019, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241 "2019-08-06T15:04:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/1 "2019-08-06T15:04:29Z")
Now if you’ve followed a few of my threads, you’ll know I am not someone who goes all melty over children. I avoid them if I can, but if they annoy me, I will post a complaint thread here, because people get all pissed off if I complain in public when the incident happens. After posting, Dopers get all pissed off at me here. But at least, I never toy with children’s lives. I was on a bus, coming back from the Chicago Botanic Garden. The bus line runs along a railroad track with crossbars for pedestrians. While the bus was waiting at a red light, I saw the crossbar come down, with all the flashing lights and bells going off. There was a guy on the other side of the tracks, walking with, I assume, his wife and child. He was pushing the child in a stroller. And he runs, pushing the stroller around the crossbar and across the tracks. Not two seconds after he makes it, an express train blows past at about forty miles an hour. :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: His wife had stayed behind the crossbar, and waited until it came back up to walk over to join him. And seemed quite blase about the whole event. They walked on. My busdriver squeaked, “Did you see that?! Did you see that?!” I said, “Yes I did, and I would have to kick his butt if that were my husband.” A murmur ran through the bus, and a few awkward giggles. Unbelievable. And I’m the childfree one. I would hope I would never do that to a kid in a stroller. ---
**Author:** ![Royal\_Nonesutch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecb155/32.png) [@Royal\_Nonesutch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Royal_Nonesutch)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/2 "2019-08-06T15:27:28Z")
“Childfree”? ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/3 "2019-08-06T15:32:48Z")
Yup. The alternative is “childless” which implies a lack of something important. I guess if you wanted kids, that label makes sense, but for those of us who don’t, being called “childless” is disingenuous and vaguely offensive. Maybe someone else on the bus saw the near-miss and was moved to be more careful with their own kids … ---
**Author:** ![Royal\_Nonesutch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecb155/32.png) [@Royal\_Nonesutch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Royal_Nonesutch)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/4 "2019-08-06T15:53:08Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Yup. The alternative is “childless” which implies a lack of something important. I guess if you wanted kids, that label makes sense, but for those of us who don’t, being called “childless” is disingenuous and vaguely offensive. I don’t have kids, always wanted to meet someone and have a family, but I just got married a couple of months ago, after 20+ years without a serious relationship at nearly 50 years old. My wife is 44, and like myself this is also her only marriage, no kids, she is a “Natural Born Mother” the singlemost nurturing, tender, compassionate and swet person I have ever known. We both agree if we had met even just 5 years earlier, having children, either biologically or thru adoption would have been instinctive, no question at all. I had never before heard the term “Childfree” and have never imagined that being called “Childless” could somehow possibly offend anyone. Live and learn… ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/5 "2019-08-06T16:32:42Z")
On a busy intersection in the suburbs, which I sometimes drive by during my alternate commutes, I often saw moms pushing babies in carriages. It was a habit with them to wait on edge of the curb for the signal to change, with the carriage in front of them pushed partly out into the street. Busy, distracted commuters would often round the corner while looking to their left for traffic, and I would gasp as I saw them miss the carriages by inches. Then the inevitable happened: I heard on the news that a baby in its carriage had been killed at that intersection. The report did not go into more detail than that, but it’s reasonable to assume it had been one of those carriages stuck out into traffic by a clueless mom. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/6 "2019-08-06T16:57:35Z")
16 years ago, I pitted a fool for dragging two kids into moving traffic: > [@To the asshole w/two kids in the middle of the street...](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/to-the-asshole-w-two-kids-in-the-middle-of-the-street/183888/1): > > You really thought crossing in the middle of traffic was a good idea?! Yes, the light was red. Could you not have waited for traffic to actually _stop_? The woman you were with did. Better yet, how’s about using the damn _crosswalk_? Nooooo, you decided to venture out into _moving traffic_ and cuss out all the drivers who didn’t stop for your lazy ass. > > Why am I talking to you? Did it ever occur to your miniscule brain that it might be for the benefit of them kids to know you’re not supposed to be crossing in the middle of traffic? I noticed the woman didn’t say anything. You got her and the kids scared of you or what? At least she has the sense to wait on the median instead of crossing while the traffic is still moving! > > I hope I did some good today. Maybe those kids will learn the guy, who is presumably their father, is not a good example to follow. Better still, maybe when they’re teenagers they’ll put you in your place! I hope they at least won’t turn into a whole fuckin’ family of assholes. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/7 "2019-08-06T17:00:36Z")
> [@Royal\_Nonesutch](#): > > I had never before heard the term “Childfree” and have never imagined that being called “Childless” could somehow possibly offend anyone. It’s mainly a matter of clarity, but the connnotations behind the term childless are and have long been offensive. My own situation (I didn’t have children but did raise two brothers and would have been open to having kids if things had been different) is completely different from that of someone who never ever wanted to have kids, in the same way in which the situation of someone who never went to college because they couldn’t is different from the situation of someone who never went to college because they didn’t want to. And note that “childless” does have connotations of pity and of having been unable to do something you were socially expected to do: that bit is offensive, whether you ended up childless by direct choice, by indirect choice (my case) or by any other reason. I’m not offended by being told I don’t have children of the body, but I am offended by being told I don’t know what it’s like to care for a child and I am offended by the notion that I’m a failure as a human being by not having had children of the body. Note that nobody refers to men as being childless: it’s always “childless women”, and often the people who’d call me a “childless woman” would include 2.SiL (mother by adoption) under the same label. Those people woud be welcome to kiss my ass except I don’t want their mouths to poison my anus. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/8 "2019-08-06T17:01:28Z")
> [@Royal\_Nonesutch](#): > > I had never before heard the term “Childfree” and have never imagined that being called “Childless” could somehow possibly offend anyone. > > Live and learn… Amazing. I post about my horror at almost seeing a child splattered like a bug on a windshield, and people talk smack about my posting a term than is less than worshipful about having kids. I’m me! Childfree!! Get used to it!!! ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/9 "2019-08-06T17:10:55Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > Amazing. I post about my horror at almost seeing a child splattered like a bug on a windshield, and people talk smack about my posting a term than is less than worshipful about having kids. > > I’m me! Childfree!! Get used to it!!! I like the term childfree. I will propose, however, that there isn’t much to debate or discuss about “your horror at almost seeing a child splattered like a bug on a windshield.” I think everyone can appreciate and agree with what you said. Not much to add, other than “Yes, that sure was a dangerous thing to do.” So, the conversation morphed into childfree vs. Childless. It happens. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/10 "2019-08-06T18:17:43Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > I like the term childfree. > > I will propose, however, that there isn’t much to debate or discuss about “your horror at almost seeing a child splattered like a bug on a windshield.” I think everyone can appreciate and agree with what you said. Not much to add, other than “Yes, that sure was a dangerous thing to do.” So, the conversation morphed into childfree vs. Childless. It happens. I wasn’t looking for a debate. There’s things to talk about. Dopers could post other instances of kids in danger through a parent/caretakers’ fault. Or other instances of reckless idiocy. Or speculation on why the wife’s reaction was so mild at almost seeing her child killed. Or even about other safety measures that might be taken against clueless dipwads. There’s lotsa stuff to discuss. Use your imaginations, people. Say I wouldn’t approve of the term catfree. C’mon!!! ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/11 "2019-08-06T18:35:32Z")
Couple friends of mine are in the same situation–were at an apartment pool when five women showed up with FIFTEEN KIDS between them and stayed for hours. As they were leaving they finally did a head count, came up missing and they dragged one youngun off the bottom of the pool, blue and very still. Apparently the CPR worked but no way of knowing how long the poor little bugger was under or whether or not there will be brain damage. Fucked my friends up pretty badly, too, they’d tried to tell those women it was an unsafe situation but got ignored then cussed out over it. Live and learn, stupid women. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/12 "2019-08-06T18:44:44Z")
I think “childfree” is a fine term. And the man pushing the stroller is lucky to not be so himself after that crossing. One other thing about this place: > [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > …I was on a bus, coming back from the Chicago Botanic Garden. … Isn’t that the home of a plant that smells like an asshole or something? ---
**Author:** ![Folly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folly/32/3219_2.png) [@Folly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folly)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/13 "2019-08-06T18:55:16Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > One other thing about this place: > > Isn’t that the home of a plant that smells like an asshole or something? Home to like 12 or 13 of the things… ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/14 "2019-08-06T19:04:27Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > I think “childfree” is a fine term. And the man pushing the stroller is lucky to not be so himself after that crossing. > > One other thing about this place: > > Isn’t that the home of a plant that smells like an asshole or something? It’s supposed to smell like a corpse. Was that at Chicago Botanic? It wasn’t the Lincoln Park Conservatory? ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/15 "2019-08-06T19:07:22Z")
Heck, I actually almost personally killed a child once. Kid was weaving through traffic on his bike, at a super busy intersection. He just appeared out of nowhere inches from my van (I was driving a minivan at the time, being as I am not childfree). I slammed on my brakes, kid fell off his bike, all traffic stopped dead, I jumped out of my car like a maniac. I thought I was going to faint from the shock. A lady leaned out of her car window and screamed at me at the top of her lungs, IT WASN’T YOUR FAULT, HE WASN’T LOOKING, IT WASN’T YOUR FAULT! Which, believe it or not, was exactly what I needed to hear to regain my sanity. I got my car to the side of the road and just shook and cried for awhile before i was able to drive away. The kid had immediately hopped back on his bike and disappeared without a word. Weird experience I haven’t thought about for about twenty years. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/16 "2019-08-06T22:35:40Z")
From the sound of it, if the train got the stroller, there’s a high chance it would have got the guy too, so at least the karmic justice would have been swift and horrifying. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/17 "2019-08-06T22:46:00Z")
> [@Royal\_Nonesutch](#): > > I don’t have kids, always wanted to meet someone and have a family, but I just got married a couple of months ago, after 20+ years without a serious relationship at nearly 50 years old. > > My wife is 44, and like myself this is also her only marriage, no kids, she is a “Natural Born Mother” the singlemost nurturing, tender, compassionate and swet person I have ever known. We both agree if we had met even just 5 years earlier, having children, either biologically or thru adoption would have been instinctive, no question at all. . Have you researched adoption at all? It may not be too late, especially if you are willing to adopt a child who is no longer an infant. I know it’s not as easy as it used to be (not that it was ever “easy” in recent decades) but I’m not sure it’s impossible. I could be wrong, but if you just assume it’s not possible, and haven’t done any research, I strongly urge you to find out more. Being foster parents is also an option, though that can be tough - it’s not for everyone, for sure. Then again, you could just be crazy cat/dog people 🙂 ETA: An congrats on the marriage! May you have many happy years together. ---
**Author:** ![OldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3bc359/32.png) [@OldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/18 "2019-08-06T22:47:04Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Yup. The alternative is “childless” which implies a lack of something important. I guess if you wanted kids, that label makes sense, but for those of us who don’t, being called “childless” is disingenuous and vaguely offensive. I don’t understand. If childless implies a lack of something important, doesn’t child-free imply relief from a burden? It would seem to me that child-free would be quite hurtful to potential parents who could not conceive and were having difficulties with fertility treatments. Yes childless couples could adopt, but those who wished to be child-free could put up their children for adoption. So sure if I know which is the case, I’ll try to use the word they’d prefer, but if I don’t know, I’m pretty sure my fallback would be “childless”. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/19 "2019-08-06T22:52:10Z")
Childfreetoagoodhome. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/20 "2019-08-06T22:54:16Z")
> [@OldGuy](#): > > I don’t understand. If childless implies a lack of something important, doesn’t child-free imply relief from a burden? It would seem to me that child-free would be quite hurtful to potential parents who could not conceive and were having difficulties with fertility treatments. Yes childless couples could adopt, but those who wished to be child-free could put up their children for adoption. > > So sure if I know which is the case, I’ll try to use the word they’d prefer, but if I don’t know, I’m pretty sure my fallback would be “childless”. Me, I’m childevasive. It looked like I was going to have a child in my care, but it never came to pass. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241.md?page=2)