# I Almost Saw a Child Die Last Saturday **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 6, 2019, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241 "2019-08-06T15:04:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/21 "2019-08-06T23:04:36Z")
Me too, yes, Saturday too…if piggybacking here is a faux pas apologize in advance… Went boogie-boarding, waves 3-5 feet max, and at Jax Beach they spill, vs. curl, so not really dangerous per se. But we had a sizable pit between the outer and inner bars, easily 10+ feet deep… Older gentleman out trying to teach surfing to I assume his 2 tween granddaughters. Welp one got hit fairly hard by some whitewater, which took her board away. I heard her quietly say “Help”, then look over and see her with her face barely above water. I know from experience that when they go silent things are likely about to get worse in a hurry… And I had just taken my fins off…:eek::smack::mad: I started to paddle over there anyway, when Grandpa noticed her predicament and sailed over, easily beating me and hoisting her aboard. You simply cannot turn your back on kids when they are in the ocean/water, not even for an instant. There was a guard on duty, but he apparently didn’t notice that she was in trouble, and may have been too late even if he did. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/22 "2019-08-06T23:12:25Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > From the sound of it, if the train got the stroller, there’s a high chance it would have got the guy too, so at least the karmic justice would have been swift and horrifying. Oh, no question. At all. If I were his widow, no paper on earth would print his obituary because of all the f-bombs I’d put in it. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/23 "2019-08-06T23:35:53Z")
> [@OldGuy](#): > > I don’t understand. If childless implies a lack of something important, doesn’t child-free imply relief from a burden? It would seem to me that child-free would be quite hurtful to potential parents who could not conceive and were having difficulties with fertility treatments. Yes childless couples could adopt, but those who wished to be child-free could put up their children for adoption. > > So sure if I know which is the case, I’ll try to use the word they’d prefer, but if I don’t know, I’m pretty sure my fallback would be “childless”. Dude, if you called me childless, it’s not like I’d chew you out in public or something. It’s a term I use to describe myself. Being childfree is a positive thing for me. I made the decision when I was twelve, or even younger. I’ve never regretted it for a moment, unlike other decisions I’ve made about my life. It has nothing to do with anyone else’s problems. I was fairly lucky. I didn’t have a lot of friends or relatives asking me when I was planning to settle down and have babies. Maybe they didn’t dare to ask, I don’t know. I made it pretty clear upfront I wasn’t interested in having kids. And yeah, I can see how the term ‘childfree’ could imply that kids are a burden. But to me, they would be. I dunno, does the term ‘gay’ imply that straight people are sourpusses? ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2019, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/24 "2019-08-07T03:24:46Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Yup. The alternative is “childless” which implies a lack of something important. I guess if you wanted kids, that label makes sense, but for those of us who don’t, being called “childless” is disingenuous and vaguely offensive. I’ll be vaguely respectful, then. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2019, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/25 "2019-08-07T09:05:53Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Childfreetoagoodhome. Okay, that was kinda funny. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2019, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/26 "2019-08-07T10:38:23Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Yup. **The alternative is “childless”** which implies a lack of something important. I guess if you wanted kids, that label makes sense, but for those of us who don’t, being called “childless” is disingenuous and vaguely offensive. Is it? Does there have to be a label that describes whether or not you have children? When I didn’t have children I didn’t consider myself “childless” or “childfree” or “child[anything]”. I was just me. I’m curious, I don’t have a boat and have no desire to ever get one, am I “boatless” or “boatfree”? One implies I’m missing out on something important but the other implies that boats are a burden. I don’t know what “boat” label to use, so confusing. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2019, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/27 "2019-08-07T10:56:26Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > Couple friends of mine are in the same situation–were at an apartment pool when five women showed up with FIFTEEN KIDS between them and stayed for hours. As they were leaving they finally did a head count, came up missing and they dragged one youngun off the bottom of the pool, blue and very still. Apparently the CPR worked but no way of knowing how long the poor little bugger was under or whether or not there will be brain damage. Fucked my friends up pretty badly, too, they’d tried to tell those women it was an unsafe situation but got ignored then cussed out over it. Live and learn, stupid women. There’s apparently a phenomena where small children are actually somewhat more likely to drown if there are a lot of adults around rather than just one adult (though none around is probably worse.) When there are a bunch of adults they distract each other, or get distracted by their other kids, and in both cases figure that the other adults are keeping an eye on the kids in the water. Often, however, _everyone_ thinks other people are on watch so no one is. ---
**Author:** ![Royal\_Nonesutch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecb155/32.png) [@Royal\_Nonesutch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Royal_Nonesutch)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2019, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/28 "2019-08-07T11:32:58Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > Have you researched adoption at all? It may not be too late, especially if you are willing to adopt a child who is no longer an infant. > > I know it’s not as easy as it used to be (not that it was ever “easy” in recent decades) but I’m not sure it’s impossible. I could be wrong, but if you just assume it’s not possible, and haven’t done any research, I strongly urge you to find out more. > > Being foster parents is also an option, though that can be tough - it’s not for everyone, for sure. > > Then again, you could just be crazy cat/dog people 🙂 > > ETA: An congrats on the marriage! May you have many happy years together. Very kind words, they are greatly appreciated. I am actually personally familiar with adoption, I was adopted by two of the most loving, caring parents on Earth, along with 2 of my older sisters, so adoption is something I am very grateful for. As I understand it, Polish law would make it next to impossible for a non-Polish speaking, non-EU Citizen to legally adopt here, despite being married and living here in Poland (to a Polish woman) and even if this was not the case, my wife’s career is currently incompatable with being a Mom, although that would be something we could remedy if needed. ## As much as it might somewhat pain us to admit it, we have both come to the bittersweet conclusion that being parents is probably just not in the cards for us, but we are both leaving the door open for possibilities we can’t forsee. As far as the “Childfree” hijack, I had honestly never heard the term before, had never heard that the world “Childless” could be considered hurtful, and have personally never flinched when asked if I had children, although I suppose that my being a man might give me a different perspective than some women might have on the situation. (I think it is fair to say that women probably have more pressure to have kids than men do, all told) ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2019, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/29 "2019-08-07T12:04:19Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > There’s apparently a phenomena where small children are actually somewhat more likely to drown if there are a lot of adults around rather than just one adult (though none around is probably worse.) When there are a bunch of adults they distract each other, or get distracted by their other kids, and in both cases figure that the other adults are keeping an eye on the kids in the water. Often, however, _everyone_ thinks other people are on watch so no one is. I think that’s true of all activities, although swimming has more immediate danger. I remember once I was part of a singles activities club and we were going as a group to the Art Institute. The club’s group leader came puffing up towing her toddler along. She couldn’t get a sitter. Okay fine. So, she’s checking people in and explaining stuff, when her little girl starts wandering off. I watched uneasily until the little girl got to the pedestrian subway. “Hey, um…” I spoke up, gesturing at the mom and pointing at the kid. Mom broke off, and chased after her toddler who was already out of sight down the walkway. No harm done. But once again, the childfree one picks up the slack. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2019, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/30 "2019-08-07T12:10:54Z")
> [@Royal\_Nonesutch](#): > > “Childfree”? He has a right to his lifestyle and his feelings about not wanting children. :dubious: He is certainly head and shoulders above the far too many people who don’t want kids, have them anyway, and then are crappy parents because of it. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2019, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/31 "2019-08-07T12:14:40Z")
> [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > I’m curious, I don’t have a boat and have no desire to ever get one, am I “boatless” or “boatfree”? One implies I’m missing out on something important but the other implies that boats are a burden. I don’t know what “boat” label to use, so confusing. “Landlubber” is the term you’re grasping for. ETA: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Royal\_Nonesutch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecb155/32.png) [@Royal\_Nonesutch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Royal_Nonesutch)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2019, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/32 "2019-08-07T12:26:22Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > He has a right to his lifestyle and his feelings about not wanting children. :dubious: Well, your insightful, measured Words of Wisdom have forced me to take a long, hard look in the mirror and I am currently reconsidering my plan to immediately go out and snatch two filthy, lice-infested, snot-nosed Polish urchins off the streets of Krakow, fly them to Chicago, locate the OP and force her at gunpoint to care for, love and nurture the wretched wee bastards until the end of time. (I was kind of looking forward to an Italian Beef and a couple of cold Old Styles, though) ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2019, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/33 "2019-08-07T12:57:11Z")
> [@Royal\_Nonesutch](#): > > Well, your insightful, measured Words of Wisdom have forced me to take a long, hard look in the mirror and I am currently reconsidering my plan to immediately go out and snatch two filthy, lice-infested, snot-nosed Polish urchins off the streets of Krakow, fly them to Chicago, locate the OP and force her at gunpoint to care for, love and nurture the wretched wee bastards until the end of time. > > (I was kind of looking forward to an Italian Beef and a couple of cold Old Styles, though) But…but…I already have three destructive worm infested cats I’m caring for, and it’s a one bedroom apartment. I can get you an Italian Beef at half price though. Unfortunately, I don’t think the place carries Old Style. Thank you **Jasmine** for your cheerful compliment. **Royal Nonesutch** is correct in referring to me as a “her” though. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2019, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/34 "2019-08-07T16:14:45Z")
> [@OldGuy](#): > > I don’t understand. If childless implies a lack of something important, doesn’t child-free imply relief from a burden? It would seem to me that child-free would be quite hurtful to potential parents who could not conceive and were having difficulties with fertility treatments. Yes childless couples could adopt, but those who wished to be child-free could put up their children for adoption. Right, the two words refer to completely different situations. Childfree: doesn’t want children (may consider if correctly roasted). Childless: want(ed) children, could not have. Why shouldn’t two different situations have different names? Oh, smurf me: why shouldn’t two smurfy smurfs have smurfy smurfs? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2019, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/35 "2019-08-07T16:34:39Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > Amazing. I post about my horror at almost seeing a child splattered like a bug on a windshield, and people talk smack about my posting a term than is less than worshipful about having kids. > > I’m me! Childfree!! Get used to it!!! How in the world is that quote “talking smack”? They said they’d never heard of the term and never considered that the term they normally used might be considered offensive. And that now they had learned something new. That seems about as far from “talking smack” as one can get, to me. And I will agree that it’s weird there is no neutral term. Childless implies you want a child, while childfree implies you don’t. Best I can come up with is “do[es]n’t have kids.” ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2019, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/36 "2019-08-07T17:00:51Z")
Can’t say “I am _achild_” because that would be easy to misinterpret. ---
**Author:** ![Monstera\_deliciosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monstera_deliciosa/32/109_2.png) [@Monstera\_deliciosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstera_deliciosa)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2019, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/37 "2019-08-07T17:11:22Z")
I’m amazed that the term “childfree” has generated this amount of discussion. I first heard the term back in the 1970s when I was a teenager. (There was an article about a childfree by choice group in some magazine or newspaper I was reading.) I would have thought that in the 40+ years since, it would not only not be debate-fodder, but would be common enough not to generate comment at all. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2019, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/38 "2019-08-07T17:19:12Z")
Childless/childfree either certainly beats the old term “barren”. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2019, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/39 "2019-08-07T17:35:41Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > Dude, if you called me childless, it’s not like I’d chew you out in public or something. It’s a term I use to describe myself. Being childfree is a positive thing for me. I made the decision when I was twelve, or even younger. I’ve never regretted it for a moment, unlike other decisions I’ve made about my life. It has nothing to do with anyone else’s problems. > > ? Ditto … And why the fuck is it you take [as a wild example] myself, and my cousin … she is married, has 2 beautiful kids, and she had always wanted to be married and have kids. People discuss her and say something along the lines of ‘Well, she always wanted a family …’ in a positive approving manner. Me, ‘she really should have a couple kids, she would discover how wonderful it is …’ in a disproving manner. I have NEVER ever wanted kids, as a small girl I was playing with my brothers Tonka Toy cars and trucks, building roads and stuff like that, climbing trees and roaming around like a boy … yet it never occurs to these morons that not every female wants a husband, kids, a house with a yard and dinner on the table every night at 6 pm … ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2019, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241/40 "2019-08-07T17:50:10Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > How in the world is that quote “talking smack”? They said they’d never heard of the term and never considered that the term they normally used might be considered offensive. And that now they had learned something new. > > That seems about as far from “talking smack” as one can get, to me. No disrespect to **Royal Nonesutch** who sounds like a nice person, but there was more to his comment than just, “Oh, I never heard that term, and I learned something new about unintentional offense today.” He posted about how he and his beautiful, loving, nurturing new bride would love to have children, but now it’s too late. He has my sympathy, but in posting that, he’s suggesting that in choosing a self-descriptive term that is, as I said, less than worshipful about having kids, somehow I’m insulting those people without children who would like to have kids. I’m not. I’m just happy not to have children. I don’t hate them, I just don’t want any of my own. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-almost-saw-a-child-die-last-saturday/838241.md?page=3)