# I always wanted to be addicted to escorts, but couldn't afford the dues - ask me anything **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 29, 2018, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397 "2018-03-29T06:29:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397/1 "2018-03-29T06:29:38Z")
This is the flop of the other thread. Ask away. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397/2 "2018-03-29T07:00:14Z")
OK, I’ll ask. What the hell are you talking about? ---
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397/3 "2018-03-29T09:01:22Z")
There are DUES? :eek: I didn’t realize it was a membership-based system, like Costco. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397/4 "2018-03-29T09:33:15Z")
So…you’re a…wanna be…’hobbyist’? Hey! Everyone needs a hobby. Right? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397/5 "2018-03-29T11:52:12Z")
What was the most you couldn’t afford to pay? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397/6 "2018-03-29T11:59:19Z")
I never got into escorts, but I did once have a '74 Pinto that consumed all of my allowance for nearly a year. ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397/7 "2018-03-29T14:14:01Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > I never got into escorts, but I did once have a '74 Pinto that consumed all of my allowance for nearly a year. I had both a 75 Pinto as well as an 88 Escort. I also had an 88 Mustang with 4-cylinder. Guess which of those two 88 Fords was peppier? Anyway, I guess I was an extreme hobbyist. However, I was a hobbyist because I was broke. Not sure how that works? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397/8 "2018-03-29T14:15:42Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > I never got into escorts, but I did once have a '74 Pinto that consumed all of my allowance for nearly a year. Any problem with fires? ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397/9 "2018-03-29T14:16:45Z")
> [@wguy123](#): > > I had both a 75 Pinto as well as an 88 Escort. I also had an 88 Mustang with 4-cylinder. Guess which of those two 88 Fords was peppier? The one in stilettos??? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397/10 "2018-03-29T14:22:21Z")
> [@erysichthon](#): > > There are DUES? :eek: > > I didn’t realize it was a membership-based system, like Costco. More like BJs, wholesale. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397/11 "2018-03-29T14:44:34Z")
> [@wguy123](#): > > I had both a 75 Pinto as well as an 88 Escort. I also had an 88 Mustang with 4-cylinder. Guess which of those two 88 Fords was peppier? That Foxbody Mustang was an insult to humanity. The Wiki page says the 2.3L 4 cyl had 86 hp, which I believe (my FIL had one and I remember thinking it was dangerously underpowered). It also says the 3.3 I6 had 85 hp (yeah, _less_!). Which I also believe. What I can’t understand is how you get so little power out of so much displacement, even in the late 70s/early 80s. Truly, Ford has produced some engineering marvels in its time. I used to have problems with fires in the rear of my Pinto, but I moved to a different city and there weren’t as many drivers willing to bump into me as often. I almost never take it in the rear these days, but when I do I don’t tell my wife. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397/12 "2018-03-29T14:49:38Z")
Did you consider hiring escorts on the layaway plan? ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397/13 "2018-03-29T14:50:36Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > That Foxbody Mustang was an insult to humanity. The Wiki page says the 2.3L 4 cyl had 86 hp, which I believe (my FIL had one and I remember thinking it was dangerously underpowered). It also says the 3.3 I6 had 85 hp (yeah, _less_!). Which I also believe. What I can’t understand is how you get so little power out of so much displacement, even in the late 70s/early 80s. Truly, Ford has produced some engineering marvels in its time. > > I used to have problems with fires in the rear of my Pinto, but I moved to a different city and there weren’t as many drivers willing to bump into me as often. I almost never take it in the rear these days, but when I do I don’t tell my wife. Yes, that Mustang was an unbelievable turd in the performance department. It also had an electronic fuel line shutoff switch that would pop going down rough roads, over railroad tracks, etc. Luckily, the reset was easy to get to once you ran out of gas…again. I have multiple motorcycles that have more HP and weigh a fraction of the weight. The Escort had more pep (manual tranny helped) and got 40 MPG compared to the mid 20’s on the Mustang. My Pinto was the wagon form factor so not the explode’y type. It also had more pep than the Mustang. It also had the benefit of leaking and burning so much oil that I had the permanent Spy Hunter smoke screen going on. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397/14 "2018-03-29T15:03:23Z")
> [@wguy123](#): > > The Escort had more pep (manual tranny helped) …but enough about Eddie Murphy… ---
**Author:** ![Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_Arachnid_Laser_1)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397/15 "2018-03-29T15:25:46Z")
For years I wanted to be addicted to heroin, but I didn’t knew where to get any. Today, it’s been a year and six months since the last time I wanted to try heroin but was unable to. Ask me anything. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397/16 "2018-03-29T15:28:41Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > Did you consider hiring escorts on the layaway plan? Escorts? Lay-away? I believe lawyers call that retainer when you pay them so they can screw you as much as you [del]want[/del] can afford. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397/17 "2018-03-29T15:57:13Z")
Did you say the Mustang had 86 hp?! Imma need an escort to my fainting couch. **Harmonica Moon** when did you first notice that you wanted to be addicted but couldn’t afford the dues? ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397/18 "2018-03-29T17:40:05Z")
harmonicamoon: Do you believe in free love? > **[Free love](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_love)** > > Free love is a social movement that accepts all forms of love. The movement's initial goal was to separate the state from sexual and romantic matters such as marriage, birth control, and adultery. It stated that such issues were the concern of the people involved and no one else. The movement began around the 19th century, and was advanced by hippies during the Sixties. > Much of the free love tradition reflects a liberal philosophy that seeks freedom from state regulation and church interfere... ---
**Author:** ![Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397/19 "2018-03-29T18:20:44Z")
> [@erysichthon](#): > > There are DUES? :eek: There may be a “D” missing. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2018, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397/20 "2018-03-29T18:43:43Z")
Parody threads belong in the Pit. So moved. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-always-wanted-to-be-addicted-to-escorts-but-couldnt-afford-the-dues-ask-me-anything/811397.md?page=2)