# I Am a Facebook Cliche **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 5, 2013, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394 "2013-02-05T15:57:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394/1 "2013-02-05T15:57:36Z")
Heaven help me; I’m an idiot. I (a woman) got a friend request yesterday from a guy I knew and dated briefly - for a month or two - some 15 years ago. Already, you know where this is going, don’t you? Of course you do. And in my defense, :dubious: was my first thought, too. I’m very happily married with a kid, as is obvious to anyone finding my profile, so I was just about to block him into oblivion. Then, I hesitated. I thought, “Maybe I’m being too harsh. After all, we were friends, first and foremost. I was friends with his parents and siblings, too. And it was _so_ long ago; we were really just kids then. I’ve long since outgrown any romantic feelings for him, so perhaps he feels the same way. Perhaps he’s just reminiscing about that time in his life and interested in reconnecting with old friends.” Like I said, I’m an idiot. So, I checked out his profile. “In a Relationship with…” Okay, that’s good. Both his profile photo and background photo show him together with the lovely lady. Reassuring. Lots of photos of them together, going back many years, it seems. So far so good. Then, just to be safe, I check out _her_ profile; same deal. Fair enough; it seems they really are together. And he’s living halfway across the globe, so even if he were looking for a side piece, that would be one hell of a booty call. Okay, then. Maybe he really does just wants to reconnect, with no ulterior motive. So I friended him. Did I mention I’m an idiot? Just to be absolutely sure, though, I wrote him a message to make my stance on the matter crystal clear. It was along the lines of “Hey, long time no see! How are you? I see you have a beautiful girlfriend (fiancee? wife?) there; that’s awesome! How’s your family, work, etc.? Here’s what I’m up to, blah blah, and as you may have noticed, I’m married to a really great guy, and have a really great kid, and am really, _really_ happy. Talk to you later!” I figured that even if he _was_ putting out a romantic feeler, this would give him the chance to just play innocent. Yep. Idiot. He responded, in short - and yes, I know; you saw this coming - “I’m great, my family is great, work is great, and I’ve been with my girlfriend for 10 years, and she’s great… although she’s afraid of commitment and I don’t see us getting married any time soon. In fact, we’re kind of going through a rough patch right now. By the way, you were my first love, and I’ll always have a deep fondness for you. I’ll never forget our time together, and I still have that mixtape you made me. I’m happy that you have someone to love you. That’s the most important thing. Please write to me whenever you want.” Sigh… I made him a mixtape? ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394/2 "2013-02-05T16:03:35Z")
Drop that correspondence like a hot potato. But…I’m still going to call “sneak brag” on this one. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394/3 "2013-02-05T16:09:12Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > But…I’m still going to call “sneak brag” on this one. See, I was afraid of coming off like this, and I almost didn’t post, but I couldn’t resist the opportunity to be pointed and laughed at. And the thing is, there’s honestly nothing for me to brag about, because you _know_ he’s pulling the same thing with every girl he’s ever met. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394/4 "2013-02-05T16:12:40Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I made him a mixtape? Well, it was actually a recording he made of you breathing in your sleep. It’s fair that you don’t remember, you were pretty groggy at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394/5 "2013-02-05T16:15:28Z")
YOU EEEEEEEEDIOT! I fell into the exact same trap myself a few years back :o I never made him a mix tape, though. I’m not that kind of girl, dangit 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394/6 "2013-02-05T16:21:41Z")
I don’t see why that makes you an idiot, it’s not like anything bad happened. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394/7 "2013-02-05T16:23:37Z")
You gave him the benefit of the doubt which didn’t carry any risk. It turns out you were right. Unfriend or ignore him. I was born in the 80s so I’m not that familiar with mixed tapes. How common was it for people to make mixed tapes for their SO? Was it the halfway point between sex and moving in? ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394/8 "2013-02-05T16:29:36Z")
Good OP. Ignore accusations of sneak bragging. And yeah, you didn’t do anything wrong and you weren’t dumb. You gave him a chance, he showed that he didn’t deserve that chance, and now you can just unfriend him again. I used to make mix tapes for people. I still have a couple that my now-husband made for me back in the day, rattling around the house somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394/9 "2013-02-05T16:31:20Z")
I always got the impression from pop culture that mix tapes were more like that thing you did when you were still in the early courtship stages (or special lubby dubby ocassion like Valentines Day or an early anniversary) to let them know that you knew their interests and were “thinking of them.” ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394/10 "2013-02-05T16:34:27Z")
Nothing dumb here that I can see. You gave someone the benefit of the doubt in a circumstance where you knew there was little risk to yourself, AND you took all the appropriate precautions to be clear about your intentions. And now you can extract yourself. Most importantly, you’ve managed to entertain a number of Dopers with this tale. So there really are no losers here (except for…well, you know). ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394/11 "2013-02-05T16:34:31Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > . . .I made him a mixtape?. . . . Maybe it was video instead of audio. :o ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394/12 "2013-02-05T16:56:29Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Good OP. Ignore accusations of sneak bragging. And yeah, you didn’t do anything wrong and you weren’t dumb. You gave him a chance, he showed that he didn’t deserve that chance, and now you can just unfriend him again. > > I used to make mix tapes for people. I still have a couple that my now-husband made for me back in the day, rattling around the house somewhere. Good Lord! I didn’t accuse her of a felony. (Felony Sneak Brag - great band name) Or of being dumb. I’m facebook friends with old sweethearts (see? I sneak brag too) and we’ve managed to avoid falling back to madly in love with each other. She just took a chance that the old BF wasn’t a slime ball and it came up stinky. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394/13 "2013-02-05T17:00:53Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Good OP. Ignore accusations of sneak bragging. And yeah, you didn’t do anything wrong and you weren’t dumb. You gave him a chance, he showed that he didn’t deserve that chance, and now you can just unfriend him again. > > I used to make mix tapes for people. I still have a couple that my now-husband made for me back in the day, rattling around the house somewhere. The mixtape my hubby made for me was remade into a CD years later, then repurchased into the same mixed-playlist. It lives on my phone and makes me happy. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394/14 "2013-02-05T17:09:23Z")
Actually, you’re both Facebook cliches. You should get together, you have so much in common! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394/15 "2013-02-05T17:13:28Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > I didn’t accuse her of a felony. I agree with this statement. > [@](#): > > Or of being dumb. And this one. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394/16 "2013-02-05T17:21:11Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > But…I’m still going to call “sneak brag” on this one. Oh, I don’t know… lots of folks know how to make mix tapes. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394/17 "2013-02-05T17:59:16Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > Oh, I don’t know… lots of folks know how to make mix tapes. Once I made a mix tape. My girlfriend got sick from all the plastic in her smoothie. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394/18 "2013-02-05T18:01:56Z")
Tell him about the STDs you’ve had since, that should scare him off ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394/19 "2013-02-05T18:24:38Z")
Don’t worry too much about it. I have two LTR exes as Facebook friends. Both are happily married with kids (I’m happily married for 20 years without kids), but we still have interests and friends in common so after a very short should I? moment, I accepted friend requests. No problems in the couple years since, no meet-ups, no creepy messages, nothing more than the casual chit-chat with some of my other friends. So it can work out fine after all. You never know. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394/20 "2013-02-05T18:28:38Z")
Stopping short of judging anyone over 21 for even still having a Facebook page/profile… what exactly did this guy say that makes him a douche exactly? He revealed a little too much info about his relationship but isn’t that the point of a public profile?.. The venue to reveal way too much to way too many. The guy is going through a rough patch and got a little nostalgic about a past relationship. Big whoop. Did he proposition the OP? All he did was invite her to “write any time.” I would not read more into it than a polite invitation to be pen pals. Hardly makes him suspect. Does it? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-facebook-cliche/649394.md?page=2)