# I am a freak, but I need some medical advice... **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 18, 2000, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-freak-but-i-need-some-medical-advice/37378 "2000-10-18T06:23:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![IBBen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/85f322/32.png) [@IBBen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IBBen)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2000, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-freak-but-i-need-some-medical-advice/37378/21 "2000-10-18T23:59:29Z")
Cecil addressed urine drinking at the end of this column > **[Why are men supposed to wash their hands after urination? Plus: urine therapy!](https://www.straightdope.com/21342195/why-are-men-supposed-to-wash-their-hands-after-urination-plus-urine-therapy)** > > Dear Cecil: > First, an (elderly) joke. > A Harvard man and a Yale man are at the urinal. They finish and zip up. The Harvard man proceeds to the sink to wash his hands, while the Yale man immediately... ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2000, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-freak-but-i-need-some-medical-advice/37378/22 "2000-10-19T00:10:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tristan \* > \*\* > I know that if one is healthy, urine is supposed to be sterile. I am, physically, healthy as a horse( a sickly horse, getting ready to be glue…). > \*\* Much as I hate to be the one to interject a note of seriousness, urine that’s come out of your body **is not sterile**. In your bladder, it’s sterile, barring a bladder infection, of course, but there are bacteria that live in your urethra that come out with the urine. Will they kill you? Probably not, but these are bacteria used to living in the urethra, not your gut, so there could be an adverse reaction. If you really really want to do this, for safety’s sake, I’d recommend doing it the way hospitals do when they want a clean urine sample - collect it midstream, when contaminating bacteria levels are at the lowest. Or, you could get a big needle and aspirate it directly from the bladder. Just plunge it on through your pelvic area into your bladder. According to my textbook, this procedure is normally “well-tolerated”. Yeah, sure. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2000, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-freak-but-i-need-some-medical-advice/37378/23 "2000-10-19T00:30:29Z")
Oh, well, hell, just follow it up with a bottle of Budweiser. What’s the difference? ---
**Author:** ![maltese\_chicken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/59ef9b/32.png) [@maltese\_chicken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maltese_chicken)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2000, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-freak-but-i-need-some-medical-advice/37378/24 "2000-10-19T02:30:32Z")
For what it’s worth, don’t do it. But, if you’re going to do it I suggest the following… For sterility… boil it! For ease of drinking, freeze it solid and swallow it quick in little chunks, you’ll probably taste it less that way. If you do this, try to pee very little, I doubt very much that swallowing a lot of ice feels pleasant. Perhaps you could handle more if you drank a hot cup of coffee first to melt the incoming ice. Good luck, maltese chicken ---
**Author:** ![edwino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@edwino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwino)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2000, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-freak-but-i-need-some-medical-advice/37378/25 "2000-10-19T04:24:21Z")
The most common causes of urinary tract infections are Gram negative enterics (the same stuff that makes up 30% of the weight of your poo). I’d suggest a “clean catch” but that involves rubbing Betadine on the glans penis, and I’d don’t know what would do you worse – the Betadine or the Gram negative enterics. As Mr. Adams said in the above column, Moraji Desai drank a glass of his own urine every day, and lived to be 99. This of course does not imply causation. I wouldn’t do it. But not because of the health problems. Not to descend into the truly inane, but semen has as much bacteria as urine. I have come across people who have ahem, had similar experiences with that body fluid and have had no ill effects. It won’t kill you, and it won’t make you stronger. Just remember that your friends will look at you different from that point on. You will always be Tristan the Urolagic or Tristan of the Golden Stream. Your friends will never hand you a beer without smarmy under-the-table comments like “Does that beer bring back some good memories, Tristan?” “I’m not gonna give you $100 to drink that Miller Lite” “At least you won’t die of thirst after an earthquake when you are stuck in a broken elevator in Mexico City” “Hey I feel the call of nature. Tristan, open wide!” “Hey Tristan, remember that time you gargled your own piss?” ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2000, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-freak-but-i-need-some-medical-advice/37378/26 "2000-10-19T04:33:15Z")
If you’re flexible, find out if you can get $500 for drinking it right from your penis. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-freak-but-i-need-some-medical-advice/37378.md?page=1)