# I am a genie, and you have been granted 1 wish. You have 5 seconds to make it. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 27, 2003, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321 "2003-07-27T22:19:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321/21 "2003-07-27T23:13:40Z")
Make me Madonna. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321/22 "2003-07-27T23:15:34Z")
I wish for the immediate complete and utter destruction of the malevolent genie **cmosdes** and that all his magical genie powers be henceforth transferred to me, to be used as I see fit. ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321/23 "2003-07-27T23:26:11Z")
I wish I was a genie. ---
**Author:** ![7\_up\_yours](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/919ad9/32.png) [@7\_up\_yours](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7_up_yours)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321/24 "2003-07-27T23:33:59Z")
I want a second cat that’s alive and cuddley. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321/25 "2003-07-27T23:38:01Z")
I wish my mother in law liked me. ---
**Author:** ![cmosdes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@cmosdes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmosdes)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321/26 "2003-07-27T23:44:51Z")
**Bosda** - Truly, I meant this in fun. I apologize if you, and others, find it obnoxious. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea afterall. As such, I’ll ‘spoiler’ the rest of the replies, and be gone. [spoiler] **UperCow** lies in the ward of mental hospital, drooling and incoherent. **Lyllyan** - “advantageous” carries the implicit understanding of ranking of desires: Rich is better than poor, healthy is better than sick, etc. The advantageous position you now seek is spiritual, not physical. As such, all decisions you make will be towards gaining your spiritual advantages and not physical. Okay, okay, it’s a stretch. I couldn’t come up with anything better on this one. \*\* kung fu lola\*\* - you did not ask to be turned into Madonna, but simply to make a Madonna for you. Done. That was already done before I got here. **Monstre** - You tried to make two wishes: the destruction of cmosdes and transfer of powers. You broke the rules. Goodbye. **t-keela** - 3 minutes ago you were a genie. Your powers are now dead. “I wish I _was_ a genie.” **7** - You have a lion waiting in your living room. He is hungry. But he loves to cuddle with your other cat. **DeVena** - Your mother-in-law likes you so much she can barely stand to be away from you. She calls you constantly and asks you endlessly to do things with her. She drops by at all hours and is put off when you wish to do things with other people. [/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![modro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@modro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/modro)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321/27 "2003-07-28T00:00:12Z")
I wish we had a new president. ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321/28 "2003-07-28T00:28:10Z")
Permanent Omnipotence with the knowledge of how to use those powers, to destroy you and use as I see fit, without any setbacks to foil my plans. ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321/29 "2003-07-28T00:28:29Z")
I wish that you would do something that you cannot do. ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321/30 "2003-07-28T00:29:43Z")
**hebesphenomegacorona** could be left an omnipotent vegetable. Infinite powers, no volition, no plans to be set back. ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321/31 "2003-07-28T00:35:33Z")
I said, without any setbacks. therefore, I cannot be a vegetable. HA! ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321/32 "2003-07-28T00:38:24Z")
So, three minutes before you asked me what I wished for…I was a genie. As a genie, I had my own powers before you approached me with your proposition. I would not have needed to make your wish and therefore I am still a genie. Thanks a lot. see ya 'round the cosmos. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321/33 "2003-07-28T00:39:21Z")
You could be an All-Powerful carrot… ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321/34 "2003-07-28T00:41:49Z")
I SAID, WITHOUT ANY SETBACKS! ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321/35 "2003-07-28T00:45:23Z")
If you’re **ALL POWERFUL** , what does it matter if you’re animal, vegetable, or mineral? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Delly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85f322/32.png) [@Delly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delly)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321/36 "2003-07-28T00:49:03Z")
make my headache go away! ---
**Author:** ![Loopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loopus/32/15343_2.png) [@Loopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopus)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321/37 "2003-07-28T01:19:36Z")
Make me a sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321/38 "2003-07-28T01:26:44Z")
I want my fiancee to get an automatic permanent immagration visa allowing him to live and work in the U.S. ---
**Author:** ![7\_up\_yours](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/919ad9/32.png) [@7\_up\_yours](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7_up_yours)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321/39 "2003-07-28T01:41:01Z")
Lions can be tamed. You didn’t say whether it was a baby lion or a full grown lion! Some genie you are! ---
**Author:** ![nitek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@nitek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nitek)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321/40 "2003-07-28T01:46:13Z")
I wish for you to be inescapably compelled to interpret people’s wishes as they intend them, now and forever. Someone better pay me back. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-genie-and-you-have-been-granted-1-wish-you-have-5-seconds-to-make-it/191321.md?page=3)