I am a smouldering heap of rage. (Very, very long)

Biggirl, I won’t pretend to understand your feelings. Knowing so many people who have perished, and being so familiar with the WTC and surrounding places, you have had a huge chunk of your past literally blown away by madmen. I would strongly encourage you to lose the rage as soon as possible. Anger/rage does terrible harm to a person, as I know all too well. I would strongly recommend seeking the help of someone trained in grief counseling. A trained profesional, be it a LSSC, pastor, etc., may be able to help you in working through your anger, rage, fear, despair, anxiety, hate, and all the seemingly insurmountable emotions we all feel when confronted with huge terrible events in our lives. For what it’s worth, I care.


I’m so sorry. I grew up in NYC and when I was seven or so, in 1970, my Dad got a job at 270 Broadway, across from City Hall Park, in the NY State court system. I would come down with my Mom and later, by myself, to have lunch at the old pre-Rouse South Street Seaport and walk all around lower Manhattan.

I don’t remember the skyline without the twins. My earliest memories are of a freakin’ huge amount of dirt spread out flat north of Battery Park,where there hadn’t been anything before. Then I remember vaguely the buildings going up, the cranes climbing them like metal birds and the big steel grids being pulled up piece by piece, the dark structure soon covered with the gleaming exoskeleton. I last walked through that plaza about 36 hours before it was destroyed, on a clear night where they shone like beacons that I turned around to look at, oh so casually, as I walked along Fulton St. to the IRT.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d outlive them. And even though there are buildings I though were much more beautiful, I began to spend a lot of time in the little community that sprouted around its base and under the plazas and the new park along the river under their shadows, and before a job offer earlier this year fell through I was even looking at apartments in Battery Park City, another thing that I saw built from scratch.

I am sad mostly, but when I went to my roof in the Bronx and saw the smoke I wanted to scream at the sky with anger.

Just another person chiming in that we’re all in this together. Joe_Cool, great quote, that.

Biggirl, I’m not sure from your post if you or Beerchick or whoever workes for Blue Cross, but I work for Blue Cross of VT, and we all here have been thinking of everyone who has been affected, but in particular our “partners in franchise” or whatever, in Empire Blue Cross.