# I am a Terrible Parent **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 8, 2003, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-terrible-parent/167330 "2003-04-08T16:14:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-terrible-parent/167330/21 "2003-04-08T21:14:53Z")
For some reason, I have conflated the “Poopy” song above with the chant “shimmy shimmy cocoa-pop.” At this moment, running through my head, is a cacophany of children’s voices chanting “Poopy poopy coconut! Poopy poopy nut!” I don’t know why I’m sharing this. Unless it’s because I’m evil. ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-terrible-parent/167330/22 "2003-04-08T21:18:26Z")
Yeah, I’m confused. At our house, snow days were good for two things only: being outside and doing chores. Usually we had to shovel the driveway first thing in the morning (long driveway, from front to almost the back property lines–took several hours). I highly recommend it. That’ll take the fight out of them! ---
**Author:** ![dragongirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-terrible-parent/167330/23 "2003-04-08T22:04:08Z")
They have gone outside to play, but they won’t stay out there for very long. I suppose I could lock them out of the house. ---
**Author:** ![Zenham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a5b964/32.png) [@Zenham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenham)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-terrible-parent/167330/24 "2003-04-08T22:43:42Z")
Or, if you hurry, you could move… ---
**Author:** ![Payton\_s\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3da27b/32.png) [@Payton\_s\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Payton_s_Servant)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-terrible-parent/167330/25 "2003-04-08T23:36:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dragongirl \* > \*\*They have gone outside to play, but they won’t stay out there for very long. > > I suppose I could lock them out of the house. \*\* / **Grandpa Simpson** / _knocking on front door_ “Hello??!! Hello??!! You have my pills. I’m cold and there are wolves after me.” / **Grandpa Simpson** / ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-terrible-parent/167330/26 "2003-04-09T13:31:57Z")
Ya- my favorite is “I want you to play with me.” (repeat, repeat, repeat). This only occurs when I’m on the phone, cooking, or otherwise engaged in some boring house maintenance scutwork. I say “That’s why I got you (insert littles brother’s name here)”. Actually, a pitiful “I want you to play with me” works. I hate to see 'em beg. Too much. ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-terrible-parent/167330/27 "2003-04-09T16:11:45Z")
Wen I was a child, and confronted with a food item that was of lesser proportion than that given to my little sister, if I complained about such a shocking and inequitous state of affairs, I would be told by my mother, “That’s because I love her more.”\* She would do the same to said sister. We learned to stop complaining. \*She still does this, and I am almost 40. ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-terrible-parent/167330/28 "2003-04-09T16:18:30Z")
The scary part, **particlewill** , is that _you_ still do it. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-terrible-parent/167330/29 "2003-04-09T19:08:14Z")
One trying day similar to **dragongirls’s** not only did I feel like tying junior up, I told him to shut up. Yelled it really. More strongly than was called for. I felt like the worst mother in the world so I called my mother to turn myself in. “Nah,” she said. “You’re not the worst. The worst one was on court TV. She held her daughter’s head under water in the rain barrel for a while and then stomped on her chest. It didn’t kill her right away but one of her broken ribs pierced her liver.” The story goes on but no need here. So, whenever you think you’re a bad mom just remember you didn’t hold their heads under water or stomp them to death. When her kids get like this a friend of mine tells them, “You’d better behave or I’ll do what I did to your older brother.” Kids: We don’t have an older brother! Friend: Sure, not anymore. Off I go, singing the poopy poo song. . . ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-terrible-parent/167330/30 "2003-04-09T20:02:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Super Gnat \* > \*\*What about snow ice cream? > > Snow + sugar + cinnamon + food coloring (if you like) + whatever else you can think of to put in. Although come to think of it the sugar part might be kinda bad… \*\* **dragongirl** : I thought we were out of yellow food coloring. **dragonkid** : \ We are. ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-terrible-parent/167330/31 "2003-04-09T20:09:48Z")
Must…not…sing…poopy…poo song! _begins to hum song_ Dammit, **dragongirl**.😃 it’s all your fault. IDBB ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-terrible-parent/167330/32 "2003-04-09T20:52:21Z")
_is glad she’s never heard the poopy-poop song_ My own adorable four-year-old daughter is very talkative. It’s like she’s the host of some kiddie radio show and she has to fill up air time. I mean, I love the things she says, she has a great imagination and her vocabulary is impressive, but she just _never_ stops! We once challenged her to stay silent for two minutes, and if she did it she’d get a sweetie. No sweeties were given out that day. Her record is thirty seconds. I often think it would be easier if she had a sibling to play with, but given your story **dragongirl** , perhaps it’s good that I don’t. I could just end up with Kid Talk FM in stereo. LMAO @ Miller! ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-terrible-parent/167330/33 "2003-04-10T17:11:55Z")
**Miller** … 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-terrible-parent/167330/34 "2003-04-10T17:13:23Z")
Whoops, meant that for **Jeff B.** ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-terrible-parent/167330/35 "2003-04-11T13:05:30Z")
LOL:D IDBB ---
**Author:** ![jujuju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@jujuju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jujuju)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-terrible-parent/167330/36 "2003-04-11T22:52:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mith \* > \*\*let kids be kids. let them create and have fun. > > my mom is a playschool teacher. she lets 3-4 yr olds make dinasours with this stuff. \*\* yeah, but does she let them do it in **her** house? and i am definatly gonna have to try the cleaning solution for my pre-k son. this week is spring break, and has been wet and rainy all week. ---
**Author:** ![chattywine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5daacb/32.png) [@chattywine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chattywine)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-terrible-parent/167330/37 "2003-04-12T22:10:43Z")
_poopity poo poop poop poop poo poo daaaaay_ damn it’s a catchy one The homemade playdough oy! Tried that , once… occasionally I take a stab at trying to get it out of the tile grout… found making togas and printing up scriptlets for the kids to practice - later perform (currently on Demosthene’s - _The Oration On The Classes_ ) works well, that is untill they start arguing about who gets stuck in the chorus… :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-terrible-parent/167330/38 "2003-04-13T03:18:06Z")
I made homemade playdoh after reading this thread yesterday! It wasn’t that messy! The only problem was that I realised once I’d made the stuff that I have absolutely ZERO creative talent. I ended up making silly shapes like hearts and moons and I dried them in the oven and I suppose I’ll paint them someday, but I don’t know what I’ll do with them after that! - **mnemosyne** , who has explored her creative side and vows never to do it again! ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-terrible-parent/167330/39 "2003-04-13T10:47:10Z")
We played with home-made playdough today, in the kitchen with the kids sitting on the (linoleum) floor and playing with the dough on chopping boards. They made letters and snakes and sausages and then made birthday cakes and pretended to have a birthday party, while I surfed the net. 😃 It only took a minute or two to clear up afterwards. I guess it depends what kind of flooring you have, though you could always put one of those plastic play-sheets down. But then we also baked bread today and scones yesterday and did lots of painting … Some days I’m Ma Walton, some days I’m the Mom from Malcolm in the Middle (actually, she’s my heroine!) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-terrible-parent/167330.md?page=1)