# I am a thermodynamic miracle! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 25, 2017, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850 "2017-10-25T22:09:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2017, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850/21 "2017-10-26T17:00:24Z")
Recently Mrs. J. overheard a conversation at the gym between a patron and a “fitness consultant”. The patron was going on about how diligently he exercised and dieted, but couldn’t manage to lose any weight. Then he mentioned his nightly bowl of ice cream - but insisted that shouldn’t matter since he otherwise faithfully adhered to a low-calorie diet. Hmm… ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2017, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850/22 "2017-10-26T20:41:44Z")
> [@Scribble](#): > > Ran out of time in the edit window. Begbert2–your reply made me smile! I aims to please! 😃 For the record I’m in sort of the opposite boat as you - I am capable of losing weight (once dieted/exercised and lost 100lbs, then slacked off and gained 150, now have got back on the wagon and lost 35 of that so far) but when I do lose weight there are no physical benefits whatsoever. I don’t get better skin, don’t get better wind, don’t feel better, don’t get stronger, don’t nothing. Literally the only effect when I lost that 100lbs was that my beltline shrunk slightly (but not enough to make me not look fat) and my sleeves got several inches longer due to my shoulders shrinking. Oh and I got un-diagnosed with diabetes, my doctor liked that part. (For as long as it lasted, anyway.) But yeah - aside from the medical business, no payoffs whatsoever. It’s kind of a ripoff. (I can’t really speak to my prodigious girth’s ability to repel women - I never meet anyone so they don’t get the chance to flee. I have a theory that they would if they got the chance, though.) ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2017, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850/23 "2017-10-26T20:43:15Z")
> [@Inbred\_Mm\_domesticus](#): > > Knowing human psychologically and physics, if you are not counting all your calories going in and going out, then you are not serious about changing your weight. Never counted a calorie in my life. (I do eat less, when not being a slothful blob; I just don’t measure it.) ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2017, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850/24 "2017-10-27T02:55:55Z")
> [@Scribble](#): > > My stockpile of sci-fi flab does have one big drawback. It causes terrible problems for men who agree to go on first dates with me. At some point right before every date (about 12 hours in advance, if I’m lucky), my fat interacts with the spacetime continuum and makes something terrible happen to the poor man. His kids get sick, he has an emergency at work, he gets stuck with intractable transit issues, etc., thus making the date impossible. > > Often, the guy simply never arrives. In those cases, I can only assume my miraculous flab has teleported the guy into an alternate universe. That would explain why he doesn’t show up or answer texts. How are you meeting these guys? Online dating or in person? Are you talking between initial contact & first date? Are you sharing additional pictures during this time? Be honest, are they good pictures or are they car selfies? Are they new pictures with your better skin? I looked at some [pictures](http://height-weight-chart.com/) of other people of similar height/weight. I wouldn’t not (double negative, I know) date someone of similar proportions if other things made her desirable. IOW, is there something else between initial contact & first date that’s making them run? ---
**Author:** ![Inbred\_Mm\_domesticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/aca169/32.png) [@Inbred\_Mm\_domesticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inbred_Mm_domesticus)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2017, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850/25 "2017-10-27T03:06:08Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > Never counted a calorie in my life. (I do eat less, when not being a slothful blob; I just don’t measure it.) Sorry for being blunt, but do you believe losing and gaining 100s of pounds is the sign of somebody serious about changing their weight? If I said I quit a pack per day smoking habit but then shot back up to 2 packs a day and now I am down to a pack and a half per day, would you take me seriously if I then claimed: “I am quitting smoking”? I am actually forever quitting smoking. I started up again last August. Smoked about a pack over the course of a week. The last time I smoked before that was about a year earlier. Even if I hadn’t touched a cigarette in 10 years, the really honest thing for me to say is I am forever quitting smoking. I misspoke in my prior post and those kinds of cognitions might fuck me over some day. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2017, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850/26 "2017-10-27T04:20:05Z")
Do you drink soda pop? That stuff can pack the calories on. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2017, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850/27 "2017-10-27T04:25:40Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Recently Mrs. J. overheard a conversation at the gym between a patron and a “fitness consultant”. > > The patron was going on about how diligently he exercised and dieted, but couldn’t manage to lose any weight. Then he mentioned his nightly bowl of ice cream - but insisted that shouldn’t matter since he otherwise faithfully adhered to a low-calorie diet. > > Hmm… Yeah. I’m not eating a nightly bowl of ice cream. If I were, I’d know what the issue was. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2017, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850/28 "2017-10-27T04:27:04Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Do you drink soda pop? That stuff can pack the calories on. No. I don’t. My beverage of choice is flavored seltzer, at zero calories. Similarly, post-gastritis (or, at least, post what I think was gastritis), I don’t eat ice cream, cake, pizza, cheese, or french fries (ugh!). Really, anything greasy or heavy is out, as is anything that’s got a ton of sugar in it. Maybe I’m eating mass quantities of tofu. Or maybe I’m having fatty fish more often than I realize. Or I’m eating more at night, when I should be sleeping, in ways I don’t see. But it’s not going to be something obvious, like soda. ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2017, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850/29 "2017-10-27T07:13:07Z")
Speaking of dietary hazards: > **[Kalorien für Salat Mexicana, Lidl (Salat) - Fddb](https://fddb.mobi/de/thurlaender_salate_und_feinkost_gmbh_salat_mexicana_lidl.html)** > > Kalorien für Salat Mexicana, Lidl - Salat. Kalorientabelle, kostenloses Ernährungstagebuch, Lebensmittel Datenbank This is a package of salad and dressing. It’s advertised as having 300 grams, and 90 calories per gram. The problem with this: 100 grams of that are french dressing. French dressing typically has upwards of 400 calories per 100 grams all on its own. So it’s just straight-up lying to me, and I have no way of telling how many calories are actually in there. Because of this, I’ve been drastically overeating on my lunch break, _despite_ carefully checking how many calories I consume. So fuck you, Lidl, and fuck all this shit. Even McDonalds is honest about its fucking calorie counts in its salad dressing, you shitbags. ---
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2017, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850/30 "2017-10-27T07:42:27Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > Never counted a calorie in my life. (I do eat less, when not being a slothful blob; I just don’t measure it.) That’s absolutely possible. People lose weight allthetime without keeping track of numbers.That’s not a miracle. The miracle is to NOT lose weight if you do track the numbers. Technically, you have to track calories going in versus going out, but just tracking the calories going in is almost always sufficient. And anything below 1500 is almost always sufficient to drop several pounds a month — for a normally active person. Take it down to 1200 or 1300 and throw in some light exercise, and it would ALMOST be a miracle not to drop a pound in 10 days. And two or three pounds is more likely, A digital scale will let you follow the process on a daily basis, if being obsessive is appealing. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2017, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850/31 "2017-10-27T11:06:01Z")
> [@Baal\_Houtham](#): > > A digital scale will let you follow the process on a daily basis, if being obsessive is appealing. This line amuses me. It’s a lot more hassle to keep track of every calorie you consume than to step on the scale once or twice daily. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2017, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850/32 "2017-10-27T15:50:55Z")
OK. So, you guys have inspired me to go back to logging my eating and keeping track of my calories. Let’s see if that helps. I’d expect it to, especially given that I’m now eating a lot more low-calorie stuff, and less of it. If there’s no change in the next month, I might ask my doctor about reversible weight loss surgery. (The irreversible kind probably isn’t a great idea for me, for a few reasons.) I realize I wouldn’t lose much weight with it, since I’m starting at a low BMI for surgery to begin with. A weight loss balloon, for example, would probably give me only about an 11 pound loss, according to [Bariatric Surgery Source](https://www.bariatric-surgery-source.com). Everyone tells me that losing 11 pounds should be trivial, but it doesn’t seem like that for me. And if I don’t see any change on the scale in the next four weeks, I don’t know what else to do. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2017, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850/33 "2017-10-27T17:15:08Z")
> [@Inbred\_Mm\_domesticus](#): > > Sorry for being blunt, but do you believe losing and gaining 100s of pounds is the sign of somebody serious about changing their weight? If I said I quit a pack per day smoking habit but then shot back up to 2 packs a day and now I am down to a pack and a half per day, would you take me seriously if I then claimed: “I am quitting smoking”? > > I am actually forever quitting smoking. I started up again last August. Smoked about a pack over the course of a week. The last time I smoked before that was about a year earlier. Even if I hadn’t touched a cigarette in 10 years, the really honest thing for me to say is I am forever quitting smoking. I misspoke in my prior post and those kinds of cognitions might fuck me over some day. For the record, I did not lose and regain the 100lbs in the span of a day. I dropped the 100 over the course of, oh, a year and a half or so, kept if off for another two years, then experienced unpleasant life changes that twenty years ago I would say made me depressed (nowadays you can’t say that without a diagnosis) and that caused me to fall back into terrible habits. (Lately I’ve decided that being not-officially-depressed ain’t a good enough reason to put up with my doctor telling me it’s nigh-impossible to lose weight without learning to cook, which is bullshit, so this latest decrease is basically a pair of upraised middle fingers.) ---
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2017, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850/34 "2017-10-27T17:22:32Z")
> [@Scribble](#): > > OK. So, you guys have inspired me to go back to logging my eating and keeping track of my calories. Let’s see if that helps. I’d expect it to, especially given that I’m now eating a lot more low-calorie stuff, and less of it. Best of luck. Take your inspiration where you find it. I hope that I (and others) didn’t come off as “mansplaining.” ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2017, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850/35 "2017-10-27T18:10:21Z")
> [@Baal\_Houtham](#): > > Best of luck. Take your inspiration where you find it. I hope that I (and others) didn’t come off as “mansplaining.” When you’re troubleshooting a problem, it makes sense to try the obvious stuff first. And, of course, it’s easy for someone having a problem–especially a weighty one (heh!)–to miss something that an observer would spot quickly. So it makes sense that you and others would try asking about the common pitfalls, if only to rule those possibilities out. Thanks for your suggestions. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2017, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850/36 "2017-10-28T00:55:26Z")
I’m sorry to hear that! If you’re considering surgery, I’d recommend against the gastric balloon. I’ve had it myself, 15 years ago, and lost 3 pounds. Yes, 3. And I paid 1500 USD. [Recent research also proves that a balloon is a seductive, but bad idea.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28707286) Have you considered liposuction or coolsculpting? It gets a 80 % “worth it” [rating on realself.](https://www.realself.com/coolsculpting-by-zeltiq) There is also a theory, ( too late at night here to google it) that a certain amount of fat cells act like an organ that tries to keep itself in place. Removing fat cells, in that way, might trigger a change in your metabolism. ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2017, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850/37 "2017-10-28T01:28:37Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > ( too late at night here to google it) Google.nl has a curfew? ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2017, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850/38 "2017-10-28T02:38:04Z")
> [@Folacin](#): > > Google.nl has a curfew? I think people’s brains have curfews. Mine certainly does. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2017, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850/39 "2017-10-28T11:57:50Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > I’m sorry to hear that! If you’re considering surgery, I’d recommend against the gastric balloon. I’ve had it myself, 15 years ago, and lost 3 pounds. Yes, 3. And I paid 1500 USD. [Recent research also proves that a balloon is a seductive, but bad idea.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28707286) > Have you considered liposuction or coolsculpting? It gets a 80 % “worth it” [rating on realself.](https://www.realself.com/coolsculpting-by-zeltiq) > > There is also a theory, ( too late at night here to google it) that a certain amount of fat cells act like an organ that tries to keep itself in place. Removing fat cells, in that way, might trigger a change in your metabolism. Thanks for the warning about the gastric balloon. I had no idea outcomes were so disappointing. From what I understand, cool sculpting is for people who’ve already gotten to their ideal weight but have areas of flab that won’t budge. I want to get to my ideal weight, not just change the distribution of my few remaining bits of flab. I don’t know if liposuction is for me, either. People regain the weight within a year, and that weight ends up in weird places on the body. [https://hubpages.com/health/The-Recently-Discovered-Long-Term-Effects-of-Liposuction](https://hubpages.com/health/The-Recently-Discovered-Long-Term-Effects-of-Liposuction) ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2017, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850/40 "2017-10-28T14:54:19Z")
The latest edition of Woman’s World (available at finer supermarket checkout registers) has the answer on why people gain weight - it’s them _GMOs_. Yes, it isn’t eating an entire can of Pringle’s\* at one sitting, it’s the evil GMOs that pack on the lard. Apparently the DNA goes right to your hips and butt. The article quotes _a Yale M.D._ (who didn’t actually graduate from Yale Med School and isn’t affiliated with it, but whatever). And it’s not safe to eat fruits and vegetables, or just any fruits and vegetables. Some are chock full of nasty lectins which play havoc with your intestinal mucosa. Best to just curl up in a corner with a bottle of preferred supplement pills. \*according to the Internet, a can of Pringle’s Original has 900 calories and nearly all of the daily fat allowance for women. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thermodynamic-miracle/799850.md?page=3)