# I am a thread Murderer... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 10, 2002, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thread-murderer/108303 "2002-05-10T16:06:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Phlip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Phlip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlip)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thread-murderer/108303/1 "2002-05-10T16:06:33Z")
I have come to the conclusion that I am a thread murderer. Yes, that is right, I murder threads. You see, I know that as soon as I post on a thread its fate is sealed and yet I still will post on given thread. I guess that makes it pre meditated murder. On 99.9% of the threads that I post on I will post a "witty"post or my opinion and the thread dies a very fast death. Sometimes there will be a few posters who are replying to earlier posts but almost never to mine. You will typically see any thread that I have replied to quickly drop to the bottom of the page and disappear into the SDMB Abyss. Most times you will still see my name listed as the last poster. Yes, I am a murderer. Sigh…😕 ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thread-murderer/108303/2 "2002-05-10T16:25:32Z")
I know the feeling. ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Baroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/76d3ee/32.png) [@Billy\_Baroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Baroo)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thread-murderer/108303/3 "2002-05-10T17:12:30Z")
If that’s true, then this thread makes you an abortion doctor with an unwanted pregnancy. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thread-murderer/108303/4 "2002-05-10T17:39:35Z")
I feel your pain. I’m a thread murdered and I seem to be invisible, too. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![Schnitte](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/schnitte/32/9033_2.png) [@Schnitte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Schnitte)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thread-murderer/108303/5 "2002-05-10T17:42:15Z")
In every doper’s life, there is a period when (s)he is afraid of being a threadkiller; dopologists refer to this as the Hypochondrical Threadkilling Syndrome. HTS is a widespread problem - actually, few dopers never undergo it -, but thankfully only a temporary one. Its only known remedy is to actively post interesting contributions to threads in every part of the SDMB, which can cure almost every instance of HTS; even hard cases could be cured quickly after re-assuring the infected person of not giving up Board activity but rather intensify it. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thread-murderer/108303/6 "2002-05-10T17:52:12Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Phlip_ > \*\*Sometimes there will be a few posters who are replying to earlier posts but almost never to mine. \*\* Never say never. Well, upon second glance, you didn’t say “never,” you said “almost never.” Never mind. :Trips over something: Oh, sorry **JuanitaTech** , didn’t see you there! 😉 stv ---
**Author:** ![Doubting\_Robert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e495f1/32.png) [@Doubting\_Robert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doubting_Robert)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thread-murderer/108303/7 "2002-05-10T18:27:37Z")
I seem to have killed quite a few in my day, too. I like to hope that my post is so obviously wise and complete that there is no point in anyone else posting anything further. I suspect that instead I am adding a superfluous post to a thread where everything worth saying on the subject has already been posted by the previous posters. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thread-murderer/108303/8 "2002-05-10T22:08:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Schnitte \* > Its only known remedy is to actively post **interesting** contributions to threads in every part of the SDMB, (emphasis mine) Ah, therein lies the rub… ---
**Author:** ![LolaBaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d2c977/32.png) [@LolaBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaBaby)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thread-murderer/108303/9 "2002-05-10T22:17:40Z")
I don’t care if anyone really recognizes that I’m here. I’m here, I’m here for the beer. Hi **Juanita**. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thread-murderer/108303/10 "2002-05-10T23:13:23Z")
I feel like that from time to time. But, what the hell. I figure I’ll just hang around and be part of the background upon which the famous works are writ. Or something like that. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Fibonacci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Fibonacci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fibonacci)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thread-murderer/108303/11 "2002-05-10T23:24:57Z")
I know the feeling well. It’ll be interesting to see who eventually kills this one. There’s an awfully good chance this will be the last post here. Sorry! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Lil\_Lurker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/838e76/32.png) [@Lil\_Lurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lil_Lurker)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thread-murderer/108303/12 "2002-05-11T01:01:11Z")
I kill threads all the time too. Which is probably why I have so few posts in such a long time. Ya would think the non-thread killers would call upon us to post on the stupid or troll-filled threads. WHO YA GONNA CALL?.. Thread killers! This was a nice thread…sorry to have to kill it. ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thread-murderer/108303/13 "2002-05-11T01:12:05Z")
That’s my job. Thankyouverymuch. ---
**Author:** ![Lil\_Lurker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/838e76/32.png) [@Lil\_Lurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lil_Lurker)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thread-murderer/108303/14 "2002-05-11T01:45:26Z")
Uh **Reeder** , you aren’t supposed to mention me in a reply. The rest of the Dopers will get ya… And **I** get to kill it! ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thread-murderer/108303/15 "2002-05-11T02:50:57Z")
you win. ---
**Author:** ![Yondan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/278dde/32.png) [@Yondan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yondan)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thread-murderer/108303/16 "2002-05-11T03:11:40Z")
They thought they were killers, those Dopers with interesting, engaging names like \*\* Lil “the Spider” Lurker, Fibonacci “He’s got your number”, and Reeder “the Feeder”.\*\* But they weren’t killers. They weren’t even schoolyard bullies. They were just ordinary citizens who went about their lives, raising families, holding stable jobs, having relationships, taking classes. Heh, not a one of knows what being a serial thread killer is really like. Not even **“Dire” Dwyr, Lola “two guns” Baby, “Ba-da-BOOM” Bumbazine, Doubting “you’ll live 'till morning” Robert, _S_ilent _T_iny _V_iper, “Shootin” Schnitte, Juanita “the Pita” Tech, Billy Boy Baroo,** and last, but certainly not least, \*\*Phlip "the-Coin-heads-I-shoot-Tails-I-shoot, \*\*Otherwise known as **“the Nickel”** for short. Nah, being a thread killer was like nothing they could imagine, it wasn’t like being a shark, or a wolf, or even a two-bit crackhead with a shiv in an alley. Bein a thread killer was like being a faint whiff of fart at a nice party. Somethin no one really wanted to notice, but moved away from anyway. It was like being a zit close to your hairline that you combed over and ignored till it went away. Me? I know what being a thread killer is like. I have to. It’s my job to know, see? I catch thread killers, and I put 'em away. The name’s **Yon “the Don” Dan** , private eye. [sub]I used to be a private dick, but then I lost my Dick license[/sub]😃 ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thread-murderer/108303/17 "2002-05-11T03:23:57Z")
LOL!!! Very well done…🙂 ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2002, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-thread-murderer/108303/18 "2002-05-12T08:04:08Z")
Coming soon to a theatre near you! Very spiffy Yondan! (And I even got a neat nickname. :)) -“Dire” Dwyr [sup]I know I’m a bit late, but I must acknowledge greatness.[/sup]