# I am a Western Chickadee. Give me a french fry. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 20, 2004, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136 "2004-05-20T06:21:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/1 "2004-05-20T06:21:18Z")
Ahh. I see you have decided to enjoy your fast food at one of the outside tables. That is good. Give me a french fry. I am small, brave, and cute. I do not fear you. I want a french fry. You will give me a french fry. I know this. I have much experience with humans and their french fries. I will land on the table and look at you as imperiously as is possible for a bird my size to look. If a french fry should happen to fall from its bag onto the table, I will not hesitate to grab it in my tiny beak and fly off with it. But, if it does not, I will sit on the table and stare at you. You may as well give me the french fry now and save us both a lot of trouble. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/2 "2004-05-20T06:25:29Z")
Chickadee: I know you really like that hamburger, but do you want fries with that? šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/3 "2004-05-20T06:27:33Z")
Well? Did it get one? Come on, man, donā€™t keep us in suspense! ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/4 "2004-05-20T14:20:22Z")
If itā€™s anything like the wrens at the Sonic near my house, Iā€™d say it got its french fryā€¦ thereā€™s generations of the little buggers living in the hedges that swarm out anytime you toss a fry or a bit of bun anywhere near the greenery. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/5 "2004-05-20T15:10:15Z")
Disney World last year. Crowded as hell. Weā€™re eating lunch outside. I have a hamburger. Simple enough, right? A **White Ibis** comes up to me through the crowd where Iā€™m sitting on the pavement. It proceeds to _take my hamburger in its beak, cut it in half, and fly off with half_. This took less time than it takes to write it. Damn bird. And nothing but laughter from the wife and kid. ---
**Author:** ![Genghis\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/45deac/32.png) [@Genghis\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genghis_Bob)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/6 "2004-05-20T16:09:06Z")
You are indeed small, brave and cute. You are also plump and juicy, you delectable little morsel, you. While you transfix me with your imperious stare, my hamburger patty grows cold and dry. I am left with two still quite serviceable pieces of bun, a leaf of lettuce and a dollop of Ranch Dressing - er, ā€œSecret Sauceā€. Have I mentioned how perfectly bun-sized you are? Perhaps a french fry may indeed fall from the bag and onto the table; hop forward in your quick birdlike way and take it! Ahh . . . delightful, delicious, but somehow unsatisfying. You desire more. I remove the dessicated protein slab from my bun. I place a french fry - fat, juicy and full of starchy goodness - in its place. A tempting morsel for a tempting morsel, _nā€™est pas_? Would you like a french fry, little bird? ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/7 "2004-05-20T19:18:56Z")
Jeepers, **Genghis** , what is it about you and eating small warm-blooded flying creatures? First it was [bats](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=256838), now itā€™s songbirds! Do you like crunching on lots of little bones or something? ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/8 "2004-05-20T19:29:56Z")
In an episode of _Seinfeld,_ Jerry commented about birds being the descendents of the mighty dinosaurs, who once proudly ruled the earth. ā€œAnd look at 'em now, squabbling over a couple of french fries in the parking lot of McDonaldā€™s.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Genghis\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/45deac/32.png) [@Genghis\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genghis_Bob)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/9 "2004-05-20T19:37:21Z")
> [@Podkayne](#): > > Jeepers, **Genghis** , what is it about you and eating small warm-blooded flying creatures? First it was [bats](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=256838), now itā€™s songbirds! Do you like crunching on lots of little bones or something? Not true, not true at all! They donā€™t need to be warm-blooded. . . itā€™s just that the cold-blooded ones are so tiny, and so very hard to catch . . . Er, that is, um . . . \ . . . \ \ \ \ "Hello, Ozzy Osbourne Center? My name is **Genghis Bob** , and Iā€™m ready to come in . . . " ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/10 "2004-05-20T19:38:53Z")
Small bird, big balls. When the whole world is bigger creatures, courage is your only option. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/11 "2004-05-20T19:40:41Z")
> [@Genghis Bob](#): > > You are indeed small, brave and cute. You are also plump and juicy, you delectable little morsel, you. > > Have I mentioned how perfectly bun-sized you are? Perhaps a french fry may indeed fall from the bag and onto the table; hop forward in your quick birdlike way and take it! Ahh . . . delightful, delicious, but somehow unsatisfying. Ah. The main course at the popular restaurant, Chick-A-Fila-Dee. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/12 "2004-05-20T20:06:07Z")
Mm-hm. Plainly, some of us have never dealt with the little buggers in large numbers. Down Texas way, they may be chickadees, but the locals calls 'em _"piranhakeets_." Last guy who got too close to the hedges with a bag of fries in his hand died a sudden and horrible death. Before anyone else could get close enough to help him, he was gone. Looked like heā€™d been beat to death with cheese graters. Not a pretty sight. Although the birdies _are_ cute. Itā€™s their greatest _weapon_, you see. šŸ†’ ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/13 "2004-05-20T20:08:37Z")
Chick-a-deedeedeedeedee. Chick-a-deedeedeedeedee. Deedeedeedeed-- [Whoa!](http://www.noahstrycker.com/web%20photos/black-cappedchickadee(2).jpg) French fry! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/14 "2004-05-20T20:21:25Z")
> [@Genghis Bob](#): > > You are indeed small, brave and cute. You are also plump and juicy, you delectable little morsel, you. > > While you transfix me with your imperious stare, my hamburger patty grows cold and dry. I am left with two still quite serviceable pieces of bun, a leaf of lettuce and a dollop of Ranch Dressing - er, ā€œSecret Sauceā€. > > Have I mentioned how perfectly bun-sized you are? Perhaps a french fry may indeed fall from the bag and onto the table; hop forward in your quick birdlike way and take it! Ahh . . . delightful, delicious, but somehow unsatisfying. > > You desire more. > > I remove the dessicated protein slab from my bun. I place a french fry - fat, juicy and full of starchy goodness - in its place. A tempting morsel for a tempting morsel, _nā€™est pas_? > > Would you like a french fry, little bird? I am alert and fast-moving. I will have my french fry, and I will avoid the top haf of the bun. Your plan will be foiled, mere human. Just give me the damn fry. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/15 "2004-05-20T20:32:16Z")
Do it, or heā€™ll call for backup! On our honeymoon, my husband and I went to Disney World. One of my favorite things was seeing the birds hopping around the floor inside the Crystal Palace. I remembered them from when I went with my family over 10 years ago and was delighted that they were still there! šŸ™‚ I was afraid they mightā€™ve devised a way to keep the little birdies out. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/16 "2004-05-20T21:14:05Z")
A couple years ago I saw a squirrel running around inside one of the cafeterias in Yellowstone. Itā€™s against the rules to feed wildlife in the park but evidently some people do anyway and the squirrels come in to see if they can get a free meal. At least it wasnā€™t aggressive, unlike a squirrel my aunt and I encountered in Florida that marched onto our picnic table and scared us into giving it our potato chips. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/17 "2004-05-20T23:34:42Z")
On the scenic 17-mile drive outside of Monterrey CA, the birds actually know the tour bus schedule. About 5 minutes before a tour bus is scheduled to stop, the birds start showing up at the bus stop. There are signs posted about not feeding the birds, but they get fed A LOT anyway. Once when I was there, a woman from the bus was going around, almost in tears, begging people not to feed the birds. ā€œCanā€™t you see the signs?ā€ she pleaded, ā€œfeeding them is BAD for them.ā€ When she told this to my brother, he said, ā€œTell it to the birds.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/18 "2004-05-21T00:53:01Z")
Whatā€™s really funny is that in the parks in the Southwest there will be signs up telling tourists something along the lines of ā€œWild animals may carry the plague. Do not feed them!ā€ And people will stand right next to the signs and feed the ground squirrels. (And yes, bubonic plague does sometimes breakout amongst rodents out here, and, yes, people do occaisionally catch it.) ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/19 "2004-05-21T01:43:10Z")
> [@lainaf](#): > > On the scenic 17-mile drive outside of Monterrey CA, the birds actually know the tour bus scheduleā€¦ Thatā€™s why Disney quit doing the dove releases during the parades and special events: the hawks knew what time the on-the-wing buffet started. Watching a hawk munch down on a dove or homing pigeon that didnā€™t quit keep up with the flock was more than a bit horrifying to the tourists. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/20 "2004-05-21T03:04:37Z")
Perhaps they should have given the hawks french fries before the parades. A bird that is not hungry has no need to kill and feed. Something you humans would be wise to remember when you see a flock of chickadees waiting outside McDonaldā€™s [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136.md?page=2)