# I am a Western Chickadee. Give me a french fry. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 20, 2004, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136 "2004-05-20T06:21:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirror_Image_egamI_rorriM)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/21 "2004-05-21T03:04:44Z")
At our local zoo, there are several peacocks that have free range over the park. There’s nothing quite like having a peacock steal your fries right off the table. They’re pretty, but mean. And I’ve had a fear of Muscovy ducks (which are even meaner than peacocks) ever since I was about four or five years old and at a riverside cafe–the duck landed on the table right in front of me and took my toast. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/22 "2004-05-21T13:33:48Z")
Seagulls. Rats with wings. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/23 "2004-05-21T13:39:42Z")
I am a Jungle Fowl, roaming free about the grounds of the San Diego Zoo. That hamburger is clearly more than you need to eat. I will bite parts of it off as you are eating it. I do not fear you. I do not lowerr myself to beg, or even to ask. We jungle fowl jump up on your table and take what we want from your hand. If need be, we will take it from your _mouth_. What are you gonna do about it? The only birds pushier than the jungle chickens at the SD Zoo were the hand-fed birds belonging to a woman I dated briefly: That looks good. I want some. I will fly onto your head, grab hold of your forelocks, hang down over your face, and pluck what I want from your mouth. Yum! Let’s have some more! ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/24 "2004-05-21T14:50:47Z")
Is it wrong that I’ve been reading this entire thread in Agent Smith’s voice? ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/25 "2004-05-21T15:29:48Z")
_Mister_ Chickadee… ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/26 "2004-05-21T15:31:33Z")
This is why I will start a “Hire Celebrities to do Odd Sh\*t” slush fund if I ever win the lottery. Because a recording of Agent Smith reading the OP would be hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/27 "2004-05-21T15:47:37Z")
> [@The Asbestos Mango](#): > > Perhaps they should have given the hawks french fries before the parades. > > A bird that is not hungry has no need to kill and feed. > > Something you humans would be wise to remember when you see a flock of chickadees waiting outside McDonald’s 1. Would a hawk EAT a french fry? I was under the impression they were strictly carnivorous. 2. Assuming he would, how many fries would we need to feed a given hawk before he’d turn down a tasty dove? 3. Is it really right to clog the hawk’s arteries up on a regular basis, just so Mom and the kids won’t freak out during the parade at Disneyland? ---
**Author:** ![Genghis\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/45deac/32.png) [@Genghis\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genghis_Bob)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/28 "2004-05-21T15:59:48Z")
> [@Master Wang-Ka](#): > > Would a hawk EAT a french fry? . . . He will if you staple it to a dove. . . ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/29 "2004-05-21T16:20:38Z")
> [@Jonathan Chance](#): > > _Mister_ Chickadee… _Miss_ Chickadee. **Master Wang-Ka** , perhaps the hawk would prefer a nice juicy hamburger? **Genghis Bob** , you are a bad man. You are a threat to all flying creatures. I have given orders to my minions that you are to be pecked to death on sight. ---
**Author:** ![Satyricon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f05b48/32.png) [@Satyricon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satyricon)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/30 "2004-05-21T16:51:12Z")
> [@Master Wang-Ka](#): > > Mm-hm. > > Plainly, some of us have never dealt with the little buggers in large numbers. > > Down Texas way, they may be chickadees, but the locals calls 'em _"piranhakeets_." Last guy who got too close to the hedges with a bag of fries in his hand died a sudden and horrible death. Before anyone else could get close enough to help him, he was gone. Looked like he’d been beat to death with cheese graters. Not a pretty sight. > > Although the birdies _are_ cute. It’s their greatest _weapon_, you see. > > 🆒 ROTFL! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/31 "2004-05-21T16:54:46Z")
> [@Master Wang-Ka](#): > > Would a hawk EAT a french fry? He won’t if he’s doing low carb. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/32 "2004-05-21T17:04:39Z")
At work we have Stubby. Stubby is your normal pigeon, sans feet. Stubby is spoilt rotten. More than once, while eating lunch and basking in the sun, has Stubby hopped up on the ledge alongside of me and did that ever-so-cute head bob thing that birds do. Then he would stump along on his little stub legs. I _have_ to give him some of my lunch. Suffice it to say, Stubby is the size of a cat. Huge. Gargantuan. Twice the size of all other pigeons. Here, at home, we have Donald and Drusilla, our mallards. If the storm door is open, they will walk up to the screen door and knock. Freaks the cats out. Last night we gave them some apple scraps. They didn’t like apple scraps. They did quite like tortilla chips, though. Wonder if they’d like salsa also? ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/33 "2004-05-21T18:08:09Z")
Birds can be pretty aggressive, but the squirrels in Stanley Park in Vancouver will knock you down and go through your pockets. Squirrel 1: “Hey! Twenty dollars! Let’s hit the snack stand!” Squirrel 2: “To hell with that! I got a _credit card_! I hear in Fiji they have nuts bigger than this guys _head_!” Both: “Woohoo!” _Exeunt in the direction of the airport._ ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/34 "2004-05-21T18:22:40Z")
The squirrels here at FSU campus have their own union, there’s so many of the buggers around! Don’t fall asleep on the lawn, or you might wake up squirrel chow! Squirrels don’t need to mug you, though. They have [alternate ways of making a living.](http://www.comics.com/comics/hedge/archive/hedge-20040513.html)😉 ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/35 "2004-05-21T18:35:51Z")
> [@romansperson](#): > > Seagulls. Rats with wings. Did you know that they can catch stuff in midair if you throw it to them. This is great fun until you realize that you are suddenly in the midst of a great shrieking Hitchcocking cloud of them. Once I was attending a conference meeting and one of the other attendees made the mistake of taking a piece of bread out to a seagull that was stand around on the lawn next to the conference room. It then proceeded to stand next to the big glass doors and stare at us for the remainder of the meeting. If our attention happened to stray back to the work at hand for a few minutes it would knock on the glass. I am a California gull. Have you been enjoying your scenic drive? I see you’ve decided to park here at the cliff to admire the ocean view while you eat your sandwich. Give me some. Yes, I know I can drag the remains out of the trash on my own and strew them to the winds. I don’t feel like that now. Roll down your window and give me some. Okay, fine. I will stand on the hood of your car and watch you eat. Baleful stare, no? What do you mean, I’m blocking your view? I AM the view. I’m wildlife, dammit. KFC-stuffed wildlife, but still… Are you going to eat that tomato? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/36 "2004-05-21T20:43:21Z")
I was at the Omaho Zoo, in the petting zoo area. Little girl in there holding a bag of popcorn. Cute goat comes trotting up, she reaches over to pet it. Goat’s head goes past her hand and sinks it’s teeth into the bottom of the popcorn bag in the other hand, neatly ripping it open. Goat calmly proceeds to eat fallen popcorn while little girl cries. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/37 "2004-05-22T05:34:08Z")
> [@harmless](#): > > The squirrels here at FSU campus have their own union, there’s so many of the buggers around! Don’t fall asleep on the lawn, or you might wake up squirrel chow! > > Squirrels don’t need to mug you, though. They have [alternate ways of making a living.](http://www.comics.com/comics/hedge/archive/hedge-20040513.html)😉 Actually, the danger posed by squirrels isn’t mugging. [It’s hoarding.](http://www.jollyroper.com/newtour/articles.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/38 "2004-05-22T12:58:50Z")
Squirrels? Hoarding? [However could that be a problem?](http://shady-acres.com/susan/squirrel.shtml) ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/39 "2004-05-22T13:21:44Z")
I always heard that seagulls were rats with wings and sparrows were mice with wings. At least you don’t have the car eating type birdies. > **[Kea](https://www.doc.govt.nz/nature/native-animals/birds/birds-a-z/kea)** > > The endangered kea is one of the most intelligent birds in the world. This unique problem-solving parrot was crowned Bird of the Year in 2017. a quick look for non-link likers. KEA Nestor notabilis Size: 46-48cm. Status: Common. Range: South Island high country from Marlborough and Nelson to Fiordland. Straying to coastal areas. Habitat: Native forest and the sub-alpine and alpine zones. Food: Leaves, buds, fruits, insects and carrion. Voice: A penetrating and drawn out “keaa” and a variety of softer calls. Breeding: July-January. Two to four white eggs. General: Has been persecuted as a sheep killer but there is some doubt as to the extent it attacks healthy animals. A very cheeky bird, this mountain parrot is quite capable of doing damage to your car by pecking all the rubber from around the windows and pulling off windscreen wipers—not to mention what it might do to what you have on your roof rack! Partially protected (may be hunted or killed by an occupier of land only when causing damage on that land). ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2004, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136/40 "2004-05-22T14:35:18Z")
Here at ASU it’s mostly pigeons & sparrows, but the grackles and cactus wrens can get pretty agressive too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-a-western-chickadee-give-me-a-french-fry/246136.md?page=3)