# I am an attention whore **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 20, 2003, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935 "2003-03-20T23:46:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2003, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935/21 "2003-03-21T14:05:44Z")
Ah you forgot some tasty troll tricks: 1. Reply to every poster by breaking their post up into individual sentence quotes. Follow quote each with a lie, misrepresentation, a claim of being a victim of low post discrimination, childish attempts at retorts, or claims of victory. 2. Losing a Pit war? Open a thread in MPSIMS and declare victory there. 3. No post is complete without bashing the Nazi Mods. Remember, it’s not a cliché if you forget to constantly use it. 4. Blame politics for people flaming you, not your conduct. i.e. You liberal baby-eating, Satan worshiping, democrats ALWAYS say that. Or you goose-stepping right-wing Hitler fan Republicans ALWAYS say that. 5. Don’t forget the evil Clique. They are ruining things for genius types like you for way too long. You are the breath of fresh air who is going to lift the scales from their eyes regarding the evil world domination of the Jews, Republicans, Tri-lateral Commission, or Honda Motor Corporation. 6. It’s never too soon for a meltdown. If you threaten to leave, then they will have to concede to your awe inspiring intellect. 7. Remember to constantly lie about yourself. I, for instance, am a multi-millionaire, Formula 1 driver-fashion model, who dabbles in real estate and polo ponies in my spare time. This will add credence to any lame-ass thread you start. 8. Never apologize. It is ok, to do the fake out version though. Start a post that sounds like an apology, then heap in plenty on insults and declarations of victory instead. Like this: Well, after your well supported post maybe I was out of line------ for not exposing you for the baby-raping shit-licker to truly are! I WIN— YOU SUXORS!!! 9. Claim newbie bashing no matter how long you have been here. Someone may fall for it and support you (until your insanity becomes clear- but by then you will have declared victory and moved on to hijack other threads). 10. Taunt the Mods and the Board that they don’t dare Ban you. If they do it just proves you were right. Extra points for starting your own Countdown to Banning thread. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2003, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935/22 "2003-03-21T15:06:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elf6c \* > \*\*Ah you forgot some tasty troll tricks: > > 1. Reply to every poster by breaking their post up into individual sentence quotes. Follow quote each with a lie, misrepresentation, a claim of being a victim of low post discrimination, childish attempts at retorts, or claims of victory. > > 2. Losing a Pit war? Open a thread in MPSIMS and declare victory there. > > 3. No post is complete without bashing the Nazi Mods. Remember, it’s not a cliché if you forget to constantly use it. > > 4. Blame politics for people flaming you, not your conduct. i.e. You liberal baby-eating, Satan worshiping, democrats ALWAYS say that. Or you goose-stepping right-wing Hitler fan Republicans ALWAYS say that. > > 5. Don’t forget the evil Clique. They are ruining things for genius types like you for way too long. You are the breath of fresh air who is going to lift the scales from their eyes regarding the evil world domination of the Jews, Republicans, Tri-lateral Commission, or Honda Motor Corporation. > > 6. It’s never too soon for a meltdown. If you threaten to leave, then they will have to concede to your awe inspiring intellect. > > 7. Remember to constantly lie about yourself. I, for instance, am a multi-millionaire, Formula 1 driver-fashion model, who dabbles in real estate and polo ponies in my spare time. This will add credence to any lame-ass thread you start. > > 8. Never apologize. It is ok, to do the fake out version though. Start a post that sounds like an apology, then heap in plenty on insults and declarations of victory instead. Like this: Well, after your well supported post maybe I was out of line------ for not exposing you for the baby-raping shit-licker to truly are! I WIN— YOU SUXORS!!! > > 9. Claim newbie bashing no matter how long you have been here. Someone may fall for it and support you (until your insanity becomes clear- but by then you will have declared victory and moved on to hijack other threads). > > 10. Taunt the Mods and the Board that they don’t dare Ban you. If they do it just proves you were right. Extra points for starting your own Countdown to Banning thread. > 😉 \*\* I agree. You see how that worked? Your post was too long the first run through and so no bothered to read it. But by quoting you, I have said to the world that your words must be important and they should go back and read them, thus \* ipso sine qua res sua loquitor\*, my words must also be important. Moreso, in fact, for they require prereading just to understand my brilliant comments. I have pumped you up, but, by doing so, I have boosted my credence up for it was _I_ who found the diamond in the rough that was your post. It’s called the “double props” and it’s an Ender specialty. If you need any more tips, you know where to look. Please note the use of my sig for the second time in the same thread. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2003, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935/23 "2003-03-21T15:46:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > \*_I agree. > You see how that worked? Your post was too long the first run through and so no bothered to read it. But by quoting you, I have said to the world that your words must be important and they should go back and read them, thus \* ipso sine qua res sua loquitor_, my words must also be important. Moreso, in fact, for they require prereading just to understand my brilliant comments. I have pumped you up, but, by doing so, I have boosted my credence up for it was _I_ who found the diamond in the rough that was your post. It’s called the “double props” and it’s an Ender specialty. > If you need any more tips, you know where to look. > > Please note the use of my sig for the second time in the same thread. \*\* You clearly are the smartest poster in this thread, no wonder the other are seething in jealousy at you intellect. * * * And as these things go, I quote you back with more praise thus exponentially increasing the importance of your post. Now we have created a self-supporting system of back-slapping and mutual admiration which will allow us to keep “leveling up” until all tremble before our terrible power. Additionally, having validated my existence by quoting me in full, you have ensured that you have a loyal ally who will go “Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction” on anyone who dares attack you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935/24 "2003-03-21T15:48:59Z")
Of course my typos were on purpose-- an intentional ruse to draw someone into attacking me on them, so we could mockingly dismiss them as the grammar police. Yeah, that’s it. :rolleyes: Note Simpson’s joke in sig block (used again of course). ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2003, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935/25 "2003-03-21T16:04:09Z")
Oops. I forgot to post my sig. I shall now post again so all can admire it. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2003, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935/26 "2003-03-21T16:07:32Z")
dont force us to alle join in an cirkle and beat you up. pleeze!;@ flame a way! ---
**Author:** ![carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrot)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2003, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935/27 "2003-03-21T16:10:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elf6c \* > **Now we have created a self-supporting system of back-slapping and mutual admiration** Oh no! It’s a perpetual motion circle-jerk! Run! Or: “Young lady in this house, we _obey_ the laws of thermodynamics!” * * * I have no sig and I must flame. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2003, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935/28 "2003-03-21T18:04:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by carrot \* > \*\*Oh no! It’s a perpetual motion circle-jerk! \*\* Remember grasshopper, its only a circle-jerk when **other** people do it. When **we** do it, its the meeting of great minds. Of course, I have validated your self worth by quoting you, but only partially, as you are still at mere “minion” status until your background check comes back. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Robb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a183cd/32.png) [@Robb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robb)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2003, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935/29 "2003-03-21T18:26:35Z")
Your pain is funny. My pain is real. Damn the Clique[symbol]ä[/symbol]! ---
**Author:** ![Estilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Estilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Estilicon)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935/30 "2003-03-22T01:02:37Z")
Ender, Hey I totally agree, in fact the same happens to me… (15 minutes of blablabla about myself) If you were a real attention whore you would use this tactic, the fact that you don’t, only says that you can be an slut but never a professional. You have talent, your rant showed that but to truly be an attention whore you don’t only need genious but hard work. ---
**Author:** ![sotally\_tober](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@sotally\_tober](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sotally_tober)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935/31 "2003-03-22T05:02:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > \*\*I am an attention whore \*\* Why, yes, I believe you are! 😃 And I can’t believe I have sunk so low by replying to you. (Does that make me an attention whore too?) Noooooooooooooo ---
**Author:** ![Shana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@Shana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shana)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935/32 "2003-03-22T07:04:15Z")
I’m just curious…Did you really have a hair collection? ---
**Author:** ![heresiarch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@heresiarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heresiarch)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935/33 "2003-03-22T07:09:55Z")
**DNFTAW!** Sheesh people! How many times do you need to be reminded? Any post in an Attention Whore’s thread, even a flame, just gives them more of what they crave. Even reminding other people not to feed the Attention Whore, feeds the Attention Whore. I hate it when people do that! ---
**Author:** ![Shadez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Shadez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadez)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935/34 "2003-03-22T07:19:53Z")
_feeds the attention whore_ 😃 Now who’s going to feed _me_? _waits_ _pouts_ 🙂 /Shadez ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935/35 "2003-03-22T13:19:54Z")
This thread needs a theme song. ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935/36 "2003-03-22T15:28:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > \*\*As an infant, I would shit in my diapers not from any pressing need to defecate but rather just to hear the fuss my parents made over me and my situation. \*\* This is one practice I think you can stop now. You can also start wearing big boy underwear too. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935/37 "2003-03-22T15:50:16Z")
This is so true. I met Ender once. He walked around the amusement park harrassing perfect strangers: “Hey Mr. Me talkie you long time! You want listen-listen with me? Me talkie long time!” And then he put a nine inch nail up his nose and ate a few crickets. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935/38 "2003-03-22T15:51:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by anya marie \* > \*\*This thread needs a theme song. \*\* sung to the tune of “Now You’re Messing With A Son Of A Bitch” by Nazareth (it was Nazareth, wasn’t it?) ahem… \*Now you’re posting to a… an ATTENTION WHORE Now you’re posting to anattentionwhore\*… Repeat over and over Salt as needed ---
**Author:** ![kiddokat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ce7236/32.png) [@kiddokat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiddokat)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935/39 "2003-03-22T16:47:54Z")
I was going to put Ender’s name in the subject line, but the thought of him spooging all over himself when he saw it was too horrific. (The fact I used it twice in this post should be enough to give him, at the very least, half a hard on.) And as for feeding the attention whore: Who among us has not gone to the zoo & whipped a peanut or three at a masturbating baboon, totally disregarding the “do not feed the animals” signs posted in plain view? I am surprised that Ender has not as yet resorted to writing about himself in the third person, so he can use his name (in bold type and caps, of course) in his posts over and over…a la Bob Dole. As we feed him…so he feeds us with the knowledge that he is compelled to reply…over…and over…and over… ---
**Author:** ![MamaHen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c89c15/32.png) [@MamaHen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MamaHen)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2003, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935/40 "2003-03-22T16:55:52Z")
Hey look everybody! Ender made a thread! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-attention-whore/162935.md?page=3)