# I am an ugly WOMAN, and I hate it **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 9, 2012, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329 "2012-03-09T21:38:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/261 "2013-03-21T02:49:54Z")
You know who else is ugly? ZOMBIE HITLER! ---
**Author:** ![Achren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@Achren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achren)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/262 "2013-03-21T03:05:56Z")
And just like the first time around, I’m amazed at this: > [@drachillix](#): > > just as an example, this is a woman I dated > > [http://dl.dropbox.com/u/2064879/grace.jpg](http://dl.dropbox.com/u/2064879/grace.jpg) > > thats 5’7" 135 pounds. > > A Size 2 IIRC I’m 5’7" and when I weighed around 125 I was still a size 6. I think I’d have to weigh under 100 lbs to be a size 2. Silly womens’ sizes. _shakes fist_ ---
**Author:** ![Sister\_Vigilante](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Sister\_Vigilante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sister_Vigilante)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/263 "2013-03-21T16:17:25Z")
When I weighed 108 I was still size 6 too. I’m 5’2". ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/264 "2013-03-21T17:54:41Z")
> [@Achren](#): > > And just like the first time around, I’m amazed at this: > I’m 5’7" and when I weighed around 125 I was still a size 6. I think I’d have to weigh under 100 lbs to be a size 2. Silly womens’ sizes. _shakes fist_ My wife went from 105# to 120# and went from a size 0 to a size 4. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/265 "2013-03-21T18:01:06Z")
> [@Damuri\_Ajashi](#): > > My wife went from 105# to 120# and went from a size 0 to a size 4. It all depends on where you buy clothes. I am an 8 thru a 12. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/266 "2013-03-21T18:55:55Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > You’re better off plain with a decent figure than fat and pretty. I grew up [fat and pretty](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxD1rBgCvbY&feature=results_video&playnext=1&list=PL991CED5045680BF6), my best friend was extremely plain (a 3or 4 maybe with coke bottle glasses and a terrible skin condition that made her face red and lumpy) with a nice body. Both of us were smart and funny and interesting. Guess who had no problem at all getting cute, cool, great boyfriends? Hint: it wasn’t me. Works the same way for men, believe it or not. I was the “fat and handsome” guy to several friends of mine who weren’t handsome, but had good physiques, and they had way better luck growing up than I ever did. It all evened out in our late 20s when they chubbed up, and I didn’t gain any extra weight though… ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/267 "2013-03-21T19:06:30Z")
> [@pikey\_pete](#): > > i’m a man who makes a living off my camera. I’m quite straight. I treat really hot women like shit constantly. I make them one of the guys so they have fewer defenses when I treat them like shit. Why? because I’ve been immunized against exterior beauty. So what if a woman is ‘hot.’ American media’s portrayal of what is ‘hot’ means that all the ‘hot’ chicks are trying to look the same way. So BRAVO if you’re hot. there are 12 more just like you who are going to walk by in the next half hour. doesn’t mean I treat ugly people any better or any worse. Pretty much, I don’t care how you look. God help you if you come to me willfully ignorant though. That is when I go into hyper asshole mode. Trust me, my significant other is short, has ‘mom boobs _complete with real stretchmarks_,’ is more muscular than most guys who aren’t muscle bound gym rats would care for, has super fine hair, and she is the most beautiful woman in the world to me. I love the way she looks. What is more important though, is that she is smart (going to grad school for applied medical anthropology,) she’s a great mom, she’s fun, and we agree on all the important interpersonal issues (spirituality, child rearing, need vs. want, etc.) Hot don’t last forever, but stupid does. I think the OP’s real problem is that she is hanging out with her peers…college aged guys. I remember when I was in college. I thought with my eyes and my dick when I wasn’t in class. I wasn’t looking for the love of my life and a long term relationship. I was looking to get my dick wet. I could care less what was on the inside, in fact, I wanted you to be shallow, vain, bitchy and arrogant…so I could have an excuse to get rid of you once I had gotten my dick wet. In short, OP…just give it a few years, or find a guy in his early 30’s. Ill never understand why guys say “I’m a jerk” like it’s something to be proud of. ---
**Author:** ![Ms.Pumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a87d85/32.png) [@Ms.Pumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms.Pumpkin)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/268 "2013-03-21T19:14:38Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > Ill never understand why guys say “I’m a jerk” like it’s something to be proud of. Women do this, too. I’ve met many women who take pride in being a bitch. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/269 "2013-03-21T19:15:26Z")
I don’t get what the fuss is all about. Honestly, I have a difficult time saying anyone is “ugly.” I may not be attracted to somebody, but that doesn’t mean I think they are ugly. Also, guys do talk a lot about women’s looks. We talk about what we like and what we don’t. Sometimes, it may come off a little crass. But there’s two parts to every message. If what your hearing offends you, it’s probably not so much what was said, but the fact that you think it’s true. So, OP, I very highly doubt you are in any way “ugly.” If you would realize that, then whatever your peers had to say would sting a whole lot less. Growing up takes time though. ---
**Author:** ![Ms.Pumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a87d85/32.png) [@Ms.Pumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms.Pumpkin)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/270 "2013-03-21T19:35:12Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > So, OP, I very highly doubt you are in any way “ugly.” If you would realize that, then whatever your peers had to say would sting a whole lot less. Growing up takes time though. Speaking as someone who considers herself unattractive(but not quite “ugly”): Words can and do affect self-image, whether you’re grown up or not. If you hear the same thing enough times, from enough different people, eventually you start to assume they must be right. I got a phone call from a customer, once. He started to describe the person who had helped him the day before, not realizing it was me. He called me “that homely-looking chunky girl”. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/271 "2013-03-21T20:04:20Z")
> [@Ms.Pumpkin](#): > > Women do this, too. I’ve met many women who take pride in being a bitch. I think that’s different, given the (still) different gender expectations. Women used to get labeled as bitches for what would be regarded in a man as normal assertiveness. So women quite sensibly grabbed the term and took pride in it, just as gays had reclaimed ‘queer’ and made it a positive. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/272 "2013-03-21T21:07:44Z")
> [@Ms.Pumpkin](#): > > Speaking as someone who considers herself unattractive(but not quite “ugly”): > Words can and do affect self-image, whether you’re grown up or not. If you hear the same thing enough times, from enough different people, eventually you start to assume they must be right. > > I got a phone call from a customer, once. He started to describe the person who had helped him the day before, not realizing it was me. He called me “that homely-looking chunky girl”. > ☹ I agree. You can’t count on others to do it for you though. I use affirmations. I constantly remind myself of how awesome, good-looking, strong and smart I am. If someone calls me stupid or ugly I just laugh and tell them “no actually I’m not.” ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/273 "2013-03-21T21:58:20Z")
> [@Ms.Pumpkin](#): > > I got a phone call from a customer, once. He started to describe the person who had helped him the day before, not realizing it was me. He called me “that homely-looking chunky girl”. > ☹ Well, you are a pumpkin. And congrats on the win on that gameshow Stoid! When did that air because from the cloths it makes me think late 80’s early 90s ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2013, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/274 "2013-03-22T00:11:42Z")
God made every woman to look beautiful and desirable. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2013, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/275 "2013-03-22T01:37:40Z")
Still waiting on a pic. ---
**Author:** ![Nerdessence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/47e85d/32.png) [@Nerdessence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nerdessence)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2013, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/276 "2013-03-22T11:18:19Z")
You sound remarkably like me in every sense, except having friends. I don’t, but that’s my choice. Try the personals. That’s where I met my husband. I saw his profile, with his lightsaber Photoshopped in, and knew he was the one. He thinks I’m gorgeous. And I think he’s gorgeous, even if he’s packing extra weight and has a boyish face. If these guys only want the typical look, then they’re not worth it. _They_ have the problem, not you. You probably are a lot more attractive than you believe. I’ve seen a lot of “I’m hideous” threads and the girl usually is actually pretty or (at least) cute. Play up that. Don’t go for the cold, inhumanly beautiful look. Seriously, love your tiny breasts. No backaches, no bra pain, they stay perky and generally, they’re sit better on the chest. As far as your face goes, well, there’s always the ol’ cosmetics route. I don’t know any women who look fabulous without at least a little powder or something. Unlike surgery, if you use them right, you’re just bringing out what you already have. Really, though, it sounds like you’re in a bad social situation. I know this is an old thread, but I thought I’d throw in, in case you are subscribed. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Deser2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dfb087/32.png) [@Deser2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deser2)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2013, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/277 "2013-03-22T19:25:55Z")
mmmmmm brains… ---
**Author:** ![monavis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e0b2c6/32.png) [@monavis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monavis)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/278 "2013-03-29T12:17:48Z")
> [@Can\_t\_Recall](#): > > I know that due to nature, the law of balance or whatever else, not everyone can be attractive, so there HAVE TO BE ugly individuals. But I just hate being on this side of the fence… in my opinion, the grass is certainly greener for beautiful individuals - especially beautiful women. > > I’m plain, at best. I may not be gross looking, but I certainly don’t get noticed. I live in a very male dominated society, and for example, I participate in a group in which we discuss philosophy and stuff. We’re all in our 20s and we invite people to join. I was invited by my sister. Other females in the group usually invite people because they’re friends with them, irrespective of their gender. But males in the group do this: they invite males who are smart, who will be able to contribute, who are intellectual, you get the point… but with females, they usually go by who is hotter and likes to party, but who also might not get bored by discussing philosophy. Yesterday we had a meeting and afterwards we had a few drinks (these college kids, huh?) and the guys were discussing female prospects for a good couple of hours… “so and so is HOT we should tell her to join…” “no, no, she’s hot, but she might not like the meetings” “she’s smart, but she’s too ugly” > > I’m pretty smart (or so I’ve been told), but it seems unless you’re “hot” you’re off of guys’ radars… If brains are more important than looks, then why are looks more valued by males? I really don’t get it, as the guys who participate in this group aren’t statuesque Greek-god-types either… some of them are even uglier than I am! > > I’ve been told I’m ugly on several occasions, and it sucks, sometimes I think I’d rather sacrifice a bit of IQ (but only a little) in order to be hotter… it’s not even about getting laid, but about the fact that men treat hot women better… it may be just because they’re horny and wanna get laid, but at least they treat them better. I often get ignored, or if I have something to say, they just don’t care. It’s as if being a smart woman has no value at all… > > It’s all about tit size, face, whatever… my face is quite plain. My tits are small. I am pear shaped (I hate shopping for the same reason). I’m not overweight, and yet I still look bad because my bottom half is too big compared to the rest of my body… I wish I had big tits and no hips… at least then I wouldn’t look so matronly… “child bearing hips”, ugh, I don’t even wanna have kids (yet… don’t think I ever will)! > > So yeah it’s pretty pointless and it’s the inside that matters, but you know what? that’s BS, if it truly were the inside that matters, bulimia, anorexia and other body image issues wouldn’t exist, there would be no make up, breast implants or any other superficial crap! And I know self esteem is my responsibility, but sometimes I really hate this superficial society and wish that Hollywood would burn down… I know beautiful people didn’t choose to be born beautiful, I just hate that society puts them in a pedestal to the detriment of the ugly population. In my belief it is more important to be a good person, beautiful on the inside. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if people judge some one by their looks alone, it is what they are missing., not you. Just look at the celebrities, and see the problems they have, their beautiful faces didn’t bring them happiness. So many marry many times, and use drugs to get along. we tend to put too much emphasis on looks, There a re a lot of people who are known by their looks and it doesn’t keep them out of Jail or bring them Happiness. If you know in your heart you are a good person , then what your face or figure is like you are a beautiful person. Don’t go by the others idea of what you are or not. I taught my children that they shouldn’t let others define them, If they are good people then they are beautiful. ---
**Author:** ![arrow1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3e96dc/32.png) [@arrow1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/arrow1)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/279 "2013-04-02T01:10:27Z")
So do you want to be one of the 99.9% or do you want to set you sights higher? Men have the same difficulties for diffferent issues. If you want to set your sights higher than what is less than mediocrity feel free to contact me. You are never going to change the 99.9%. You could choose to be with a higher consciousness individual. They are more difficult to find than the 99.9%. Of course that makes sense doesn’t it. If you wish to do that feel free to contact me. Again men have the same difficulties for different issues. If you want to escape lowest rungs of the spiritual ladder both the men an women involved have to be above it. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2013, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/280 "2013-04-02T01:39:50Z")
> [@arrow1](#): > > If you want to set your sights higher than what is less than mediocrity feel free to contact me. You could choose to be with a higher consciousness individual. If you wish to do that feel free to contact me. You got a phone number darling? 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329.md?page=15)