# I am an ugly WOMAN, and I hate it **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 9, 2012, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329 "2012-03-09T21:38:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2012, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/101 "2012-03-10T22:16:33Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > You should stop reading cites like the one you linked us to, OP. The stuff in there would make any woman get a complex. Attractiveness comes in many forms, and so does the feminine body. No freaking kidding. Now I’m all worried about whether my ribcage is sufficiently feminine. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2012, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/102 "2012-03-10T22:50:30Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > LOL. You started with the cheap shots, dickhead. Such as? ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2012, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/103 "2012-03-10T23:25:16Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > LOL. You started with the cheap shots, dickhead. > [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Such as? > [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Alright, I’m going to bed. But first I’m going to dig up that old pic of Shot from Guns to satisfy my ugly bitch craving. That. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2012, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/104 "2012-03-11T00:05:38Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > That. I guess you don’t know the history between me and SfG about that photo. So shut up, Donny. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2012, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/105 "2012-03-11T01:05:23Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > No, its not small, it’s more or less average. And if you’re wondering size 2 isn’t considered “land whale” or even large either. It’s TINY. A 5’7" woman who weighs 130 is actually close to the line of being medically underweight. So her boobs - which very likely her correct bra size is 32C or 30D if she is indeed 130 carrying most of it in her lower body – probably look huge on her frame. The OP didn’t say she was a size 2, that was **drachillix** describing a woman he used to date…and I suspect he’s mistaken about what size she wore. Women of the same height/weight can have very different figures and women’s clothing sizes aren’t terribly consistent, but I don’t think it’s likely that a 5’7" woman who weighs 130 is even in the neighborhood of a size 2. I also don’t think it’s likely that a woman that height/weight needs to slim down, but a 5’7" woman isn’t going to fit into a size 2 unless she has unusually small hips for her frame. ---
**Author:** ![Can\_t\_Recall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@Can\_t\_Recall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Can_t_Recall)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2012, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/106 "2012-03-11T01:59:30Z")
I don’t get where all this negativity comes from. Sure, I was whining, but this is a board for rants, isn’t it? Whatever. No, I’m not a size 2, I don’t what size I am in US sizes (I don’t live in the US), tops are usually S or M depending on type or brand, pants are usually L or XL. My bone structure also isn’t delicate and small, based on those “put your middle finger and thumb around your wrist” tests, my frame is medium. I don’t go hating on hot women. I’m not stupid, I know hot women have brains too, and it is sad that such women’s intelligence is disregarded. I don’t feel I’m superior to hot women, that’s bullshit, because I actually feel inferior. A hot woman could be dumb (hey, there are dumb people, both ugly and hot) and I still wouldn’t feel I’m better than her. Unless a person is a serial killer or a children beater, I can’t really say “yeah, I’m a better person than he/she is”. I’m just speaking from my experience. No, I don’t go after typically hot guys, so this isn’t a situation in which I should lower my standards. Maybe it has to do with the fact that the only boyfriend I’ve ever had was very critical of me in every aspect, including looks. He wasn’t a looker either, he wasn’t ugly, he was average… he was smart, but I think he had empathy issues. I don’t think I have turned down many guys in my lifetime. I have turned down guys because they weren’t nice, not because they lack Brad Pitt’s features, or 'cause they have a small brain. I think I’ve only turned down one guy, actually, because he was creepy and weird, a bit stalkerish and desperate, and had no social life at all (he wasn’t ugly, in case anyone’s wondering). Other guys I’ve ignored in bars and such has been because I was either in a relationship, or they were too drunk, too old for me (hey grandpa), or I just wasn’t looking for a guy at that moment. I don’t think those are awful reasons that imply I’m a shallow, hipocritical bitch. I guess I shouldn’t have posted this, I didn’t realize these kind of problems were so offensive to other people. I was just expressing my feelings, feelings that come from having been rejected and told I was ugly during my entire adolescence, having had a very critical boyfriend, and generally being ignored by men in favor of better looking females. Maybe I’m weak because I let the media get to me, well, if then, I am, I guess that makes me a worse person than just being ugly. Anyway, thank you people, you can stop replying to this already. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2012, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/107 "2012-03-11T02:13:50Z")
> [@Can\_t\_Recall](#): > > I guess I shouldn’t have posted this No, you just shouldn’t have posted it in this particular forum. Had you posted the exact same OP in MPSIMS you would have gotten (((((hugs!!!))))) and dopers of both sexes flirting with you in varying degrees of creepiness, and a bunch of girl dopers running in with make up tips. Sadly, you posted here where people pretty much come to be the biggest asshole they can. So, sucks to be you, but you could probably asked to have it moved. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2012, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/108 "2012-03-11T02:33:46Z")
I think your rant is perfectly valid. Women do get judged way too much about their looks, and young guys can be really obnoxious about it. I still think you should bring it up as a topic of conversation. Sometimes people don’t know when they are being ignorant. And young guys frequently get away with being dicks because young women don’t want to get kicked out of the “cool kids club” by telling them to grow up. Which does nothing but perpetuate the idea that women ARE the weaker sex. It sounds like you are in your early 20s. Did you know that women hit their “physical attractiveness” peak sometime in their 30s? I read that somewhere, and I believe it is true. I think I look way better as a 34-year-old than I did as a 24-year-old. I look at pictures taken of me from that time and I don’t know what the hell I was thinking! And my body has also changed for the better, IMHO. So tune out the jerks and practice complimenting your reflection in the mirror. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2012, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/109 "2012-03-11T02:45:25Z")
> [@Can\_t\_Recall](#): > > I don’t get where all this negativity comes from. Sure, I was whining, but this is a board for rants, isn’t it? The Pit is a place for rants, but there’s no rule that people can’t rant back, and they often do. Just an FYI about this place. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2012, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/110 "2012-03-11T02:54:31Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > The OP didn’t say she was a size 2, that was **drachillix** describing a woman he used to date…and I suspect he’s mistaken about what size she wore. Women of the same height/weight can have very different figures and women’s clothing sizes aren’t terribly consistent, but I don’t think it’s likely that a 5’7" woman who weighs 130 is even in the neighborhood of a size 2. I also don’t think it’s likely that a woman that height/weight needs to slim down, but a 5’7" woman isn’t going to fit into a size 2 unless she has unusually small hips for her frame. I get the variability in sizing, the particular woman I was using as an example used to be about 105 and considered herself a humongus cow in that pic, she was very thin and pretty much had no ass. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2012, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/111 "2012-03-11T02:57:37Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > … Did you know that women hit their “physical attractiveness” peak sometime in their 30s? I read that somewhere, and I believe it is true. I think I look way better as a 34-year-old than I did as a 24-year-old. … My wife is 52 and I think she keeps looking better every year. And, no, she doesn’t read these posts! Of course a few years ago she turned to me in bed one morning and asked how she ended up in bed with a middle aged man … ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2012, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/112 "2012-03-11T03:19:00Z")
> [@brazil84](#): > > Come on, this is an obvious troll. A cheap appeal to sympathy may be pathetic, but that is not a troll…unless the definition of ‘troll’ changed in the last day or so. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2012, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/113 "2012-03-11T03:21:35Z")
“Being an ugly woman is like being a man, you’re going to have to work.” -Daniel Tosh ---
**Author:** ![CatherineZeta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@CatherineZeta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatherineZeta)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2012, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/114 "2012-03-11T04:17:12Z")
Not sure if the OP’s coming back or not, but as a girl who’s “one of the guys” within a certain group I am acquainted with, I realize that “the guys” are a bunch of immature dicks and based on the way they speak about women I wouldn’t want to be pursued by them. It’s hard, but don’t judge yourself too harshly based on the attitudes of people like that. I’m also perplexed by those who are tallish yet only weigh ~130 lbs considering themselves in need of losing weight (not just you OP, I’ve heard it from others). I’m 5’2 and in the range of 125-130 and do not consider myself fat. I’m a size 4-6 on the bottom and an XXS-XS on top. As an aside, having worked in retail for a number of years it’s perfectly normal for women to be two different sizes top and bottom. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2012, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/115 "2012-03-11T04:47:44Z")
> [@Can\_t\_Recall](#): > > If brains are more important than looks, then why are looks more valued by males? And women don’t do this? :dubious: I am 44 years old, an engineer with a good income, and I’m short and bald. I have learned that “short and bald” are two \*major \*strikes against me. I can count the number of times on my hand a woman has talked to me (unsolicited) in my life. If I were to walk in to a bar, and a taller, good looking guy with no job and no college degree also walked into the same bar, who do you think the women will notice? Who do you think they’ll want to strike up a conversation with? I’m not pitying myself. I’m just showing that it goes both ways. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2012, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/116 "2012-03-11T05:39:30Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > A cheap appeal to sympathy may be pathetic, but that is not a troll…unless the definition of ‘troll’ changed in the last day or so. I think the definition changes every 4th or 5th time someone uses it around here. _ **TROLL** _ should be a word that each poster is only allotted a certain # of usages; after that the word gets blocked. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2012, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/117 "2012-03-11T06:12:27Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > I guess you don’t know the history between me and SfG about that photo. So shut up, Donny. The history is --and correct me if I’m wrong-- that you got all butthurt when she shot down your boner for her. After that you started calling her ugly, much like the guy who exclaims “You ain’t all’at” only after he is turned down. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2012, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/118 "2012-03-11T06:17:57Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > And women don’t do this? :dubious: > > I am 44 years old, an engineer with a good income, and I’m short and bald. I have learned that “short and bald” are two \*major \*strikes against me. I can count the number of times on my hand a woman has talked to me (unsolicited) in my life. > > If I were to walk in to a bar, and a taller, good looking guy with no job and no college degree also walked into the same bar, who do you think the women will notice? Who do you think they’ll want to strike up a conversation with? > > I’m not pitying myself. I’m just showing that it goes both ways. Perhaps all the weapons you lug around has something to do with it. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2012, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/119 "2012-03-11T07:55:34Z")
> [@Can\_t\_Recall](#): > > If brains are more important than looks, then why are looks more valued by males? Brains are not more important. The basal instinct of any species is, after self-preservation, propagation of the species. Strong physical traits outweigh mental abilities. Lyrics from Captain and Tennille’s _Love Will Keep Us Together_: “Young and beautiful, someday your looks will be gone.” _Everyone_ will be ugly someday. ---
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2012, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329/120 "2012-03-11T07:58:41Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > And women don’t do this? :dubious: > > I am 44 years old, an engineer with a good income, and I’m short and bald. I have learned that “short and bald” are two \*major \*strikes against me. I can count the number of times on my hand a woman has talked to me (unsolicited) in my life. > > If I were to walk in to a bar, and a taller, good looking guy with no job and no college degree also walked into the same bar, who do you think the women will notice? Who do you think they’ll want to strike up a conversation with? > > I’m not pitying myself. I’m just showing that it goes both ways. But wealthy and famous trumps all, even young, hot, educated, blah, blah, blah. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-an-ugly-woman-and-i-hate-it/615329.md?page=7)