# I am being ripped off **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 11, 2025, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-being-ripped-off/1016936 "2025-04-11T23:59:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2025, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-being-ripped-off/1016936/41 "2025-04-12T14:25:47Z")
Wow. . .I’m seeing things WAY too literally these days. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2025, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-being-ripped-off/1016936/42 "2025-04-12T15:38:08Z")
> [@DavidNRockies](#): > > Trump is an idiot. That bit should be taken literally. ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2025, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-being-ripped-off/1016936/43 "2025-04-13T05:59:46Z")
Satire this arcane could only be on this board. The real problem is Europe used to take all our theorems, but now they won’t take them because they’re just too beautifully proven. And our corollaries? They drop a bowling ball on every US manufactured corollary al the way from the ISS and if it knocks the slightest hole in it, they won’t accept that corollary. These are tremendous, tremendous corollaries and they’re not exploded by the bowling balls from space … just usually some tiny holes in them … or flaws as my math guys say. Not many people know that word. Flaw. But I know it, because I talk with my math guys every day … they say nobody has ever understood flaws like I understand flaws. They say, sir, you’re a natural expert at flaws. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2025, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-being-ripped-off/1016936/44 "2025-04-13T09:45:40Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > What happens when A-1\* starts creating theorems faster than @Hari_Seldon can, hmmm? A number of years ago, the then prime minister of Japan pronounced IT as “it”. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2025, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-being-ripped-off/1016936/45 "2025-04-13T13:19:27Z")
> [@Greg\_Charles](#): > > Satire this arcane could only be on this board. Threads like this are why I keep hanging around. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2025, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-being-ripped-off/1016936/46 "2025-04-13T15:04:28Z")
> [@Greg\_Charles](#): > > Satire this arcane could only be on this board. > [@RTFirefly](#): > > Threads like this are why I keep hanging around. I’ve read that post from @Greg_Charles four times and it makes no sense to me. Any help parsing that? ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2025, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-being-ripped-off/1016936/47 "2025-04-13T15:25:26Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > makes no sense to me. The reason is obvious. He was channeling trump. Of course it doesn’t make sense. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2025, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-being-ripped-off/1016936/48 "2025-04-13T15:46:21Z")
> [@DavidNRockies](#): > > Harry, > > What measures are you taking/can you take that might raise or lower the value of seldincoins relative to other currencies? > > And … in evaluating the risks associated with holding seldincoins, has your barber proposed giving your numbers a **[haircut](https://www.investopedia.com/terms/h/haircut.asp)**? > > Thanks. > > > [@markn\_1](#): > > > > Do you sell paradoxes too? > > Though I think it costs a fair bit of Money, I know a guy that can get you two tickets to paradox. Are you saying you can get me a paratix to paradox? > [@ThelmaLou](#): > > The reason is obvious. He was channeling trump. Of course it doesn’t make sense. Looked to me like he was channeling **Smapti**. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2025, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-being-ripped-off/1016936/49 "2025-04-13T15:58:19Z")
Don’t have any theorems left, but I have a theory. My theory, that I have, follows the lines that I am about to relate. Yes, my word, you may well ask what it is, this theory of mine. Well, this theory, that I have, that is to say, which is mine,… is mine. That is the theory that I have and which is mine and what it is, too. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2025, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-being-ripped-off/1016936/50 "2025-04-13T16:15:20Z")
Enough with your theorems and theories. I am proclaiming a theocracy. Naturally, the fact that I am the one who proclaimed this demonstrates that I am the High Priest of this theocracy. Therefore I will be speaking on God’s behalf and anything I say should be treated as if it was coming directly from God. ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2025, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-being-ripped-off/1016936/51 "2025-04-13T16:42:03Z")
Your mistake is selling theorems to the university for Monopoly money instead of licensing them to corporations (the Microsoft Theorem, the Google Theorem…) in exchange for hard currency. Make sure you get a cut every time someone references the theorem. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2025, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-being-ripped-off/1016936/52 "2025-04-13T16:42:46Z")
Moderating: > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > > [@ThelmaLou](#): > > > > The reason is obvious. He was channeling trump. Of course it doesn’t make sense. > > Looked to me like he was channeling **Smapti**. Hey, this is MPSIMS. Not the pit. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2025, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-being-ripped-off/1016936/53 "2025-04-13T18:49:41Z")
It never really occurred to me when I started this thread that I would enjoy reading the replies even more than I enjoyed writing this. Yes I have a pair of docs I could sell you. Start with \{x|x\notin x\}. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2025, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-being-ripped-off/1016936/54 "2025-04-13T18:56:55Z")
Thanks, but I already had that one. I gave it to you in #20. ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2025, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-being-ripped-off/1016936/55 "2025-04-14T02:36:54Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > Any help parsing that? So, the main thing is that (paradoxical though it be) I know I’m not as funny as I think I am. With that in mind: - Beautiful theorem is a reference to Howard Lutnick saying that Europe wouldn’t take our beef because it’s too beautiful, while theirs is weak. A theorem is a statement that can be logically proven through a series of steps based on axioms and previously proven theorems. (I’m remembering this from 9th grade geometry, so bear with me.) Praise for a proof would be that’s it’s elegant, or even beautiful. - The bowling ball is reference to Trump saying that Germany tests U.S. cars by dropping bowling balls on them and rejecting them if they’re dented. Proofs of theorems can’t really be dented, but they can be shown to have holes in them, or flaws. - Further on flaws: Trump claimed groceries was an old-fashioned word and at least implied he didn’t think people would know what it meant. He might think that about “flaw” as well. - And the sum-up is sort of a general riff (which didn’t come together as well as I’d hoped it would) about Trump always saying that he understands stuff that most people don’t and experts being amazed by his acumen, with an ironic twist on his being expert on flaws, because of course that’s what he is almost entirely made up of. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-being-ripped-off/1016936.md?page=2)