# I am Concerned that my Lady Friend Enjoys Rock Concerts So Much **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 18, 2009, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868 "2009-08-18T18:16:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/21 "2009-08-18T20:07:20Z")
Does she roll down her stockings and dance the Charleston too? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/22 "2009-08-18T20:09:41Z")
> [@Edwardian\_Prude](#): > > As background, my GF and I broke up in high school after an older guy at a party cornered her in his house, made some moves, and then took her into his bedroom. She later told me she (then 18 years old) was terrified and just froze. Amazing or no, she stayed the night in his room, but later described the event as “close to rape.” A good friend of hers later told me that my GF later confided that she had been seeing the guy for several weeks, which my GF hotly denied. I couldn’t handle it and broke things off. The rest of the OP seemed bizarre enough (going to rock concerts is a sign of debauchery? really?) but this also stuck out. Like…was this rape or not? It all seems so vague and bizarre. Are you worried that she’s going to get “overcome” and have sex with some random guy and use the “I was raped” excuse? Are you saying she wasn’t really raped? Is she admitting that she wasn’t? ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/23 "2009-08-18T20:11:36Z")
She might get a touch of the vapors. Tell her to bring along some smelling salts. ---
**Author:** ![Shocker\_Khan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c57346/32.png) [@Shocker\_Khan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shocker_Khan)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/24 "2009-08-18T20:37:53Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > I’d be more concerned at the bands she’s going to see. There’s much better music out there. I second that. Also, I met **HelloNinja** at a concert. That must make us both whores? Or people who love live music? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/25 "2009-08-18T20:39:05Z")
Whores. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/26 "2009-08-18T20:53:29Z")
> [@Shocker\_Khan](#): > > I second that. > > Also, I met **HelloNinja** at a concert. That must make us both whores? Or people who love live music? Well, I am a smooth-talking Lothario… ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/27 "2009-08-18T21:06:37Z")
> [@HelloNinja](#): > > Well, I am a smooth-talking Lothario… And she was just helpless prey! 😃 _Loose_ prey. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/28 "2009-08-18T21:08:59Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I’m fairly certain this is a joke. If you don’t think so, read this and not laugh: > Ha ha ha, come on! The title of the thread, especially, does remind me of something you’d see in The Onion. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/29 "2009-08-18T21:30:37Z")
What bands is she following, anyway? Is Poison touring? I’m trying to think of any rock band that’s still got a reputation for anything but merch sales and reality TV appearances. This sounds like her hobby. If you are feeling left out or can’t understand why she’d be so passionate about it, watch _I Love You, Man_ and switch around the genders. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/30 "2009-08-18T21:42:54Z")
> [@thirdname](#): > > I heard they also play Negro music at rock concerts. Is that the Junglebunny music I heard about? ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/31 "2009-08-18T22:07:36Z")
> [@badbadrubberpiggy](#): > > The title of the thread, especially, does remind me of something you’d see in The Onion. For a first thread/post it is indeed a Bold Move… We got attempted rape, a re-kindled high school romance, a possesive boyfriend and American Idol. I for one applaud the moxie of throwing for the end zone (Hail Mary) on your first play in the league!!! ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/32 "2009-08-18T22:29:01Z")
Look, we can tell you over and over again that these concerts are pretty tame (they are) and that they most certainly aren’t debauchery (they aren’t). But, end of the day, it comes down to trust. I know you view your GF as virtuous and true, and that’s part of it; however, you also have to trust her to make decisions about her own life. She’s been to more of these concerts than you have, and therefore has a better idea of the atmosphere than you do. You have to be able to respect her ability to assess her own situation, and you have to trust her not to put herself in a situation that’s going to cause her danger. If she’s acted in any other ways that you consider erratic (recently–who you are at 18 is most certainly _not_ who you are at 50)–and has therefore demonstrated that she hasn’t earned that trust, then there are deeper problems with her and the relationship than her going to the concerts. If she has demonstrated good judgment in all other areas, then she probably is here, and you should relax. That being said, those two artists are a step above a Hannah Montana concert attended by parents with pre-teen daughters in tow in terms of how dangerous and sordid their concerts are. I’ve been to concerts by bands with much rowdier reputations than this–as a singly-attending, reasonably attractive college co-ed–with no problem. Mainstream artist concerts are mainstream, and are therefore very safe. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/33 "2009-08-18T22:42:17Z")
You lost me at “unladylike.” ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/34 "2009-08-18T22:53:22Z")
This is all the fault of the cubists. Cubists and flapper girls. ---
**Author:** ![bri1600bv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@bri1600bv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bri1600bv)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/35 "2009-08-18T22:58:31Z")
Trust issues aside, she goes to 25 Daughtry concerts a year…staying in hotels and such? This woman strikes me as a loser. What’s next New Kids on the Block? Find a 52 year old who acts like she’s older than 18, would be my advice. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/36 "2009-08-18T23:40:07Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > I know of many affluent 30-50+ year olds that spend thousands of dollars following their favorite bands around the US (and even Europe and the Pacific Rim). They have the money, and they enjoy the music and the community of fellow music lovers. If that’s what they want to spend their money on, so what? Perhaps because in a relationship most people like to spend their leisure time together? Back when mrAru was in the Navy, I had to tolerate4 him being away much of the time. We are both very happy that he no longer travels and we actually get to spend time together [unlike a lot of married couples that leave the military and discover they actually dont seem to actually like each other and divorce…] ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/37 "2009-08-19T00:52:24Z")
I’m 52 and I’m going to a heavy metal rock show this Saturday. I can guarantee I will not find any loose women my age. Or any age that I would be interested in. I am looking forward to seeing Saliva and for the 3rd time in the past couple of years, Chevelle. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/38 "2009-08-19T01:02:09Z")
I think she’s heading to the wrong concerts. Ain’t no party like a P-Funk party 'cause a P-Funk party don’t stop. ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/39 "2009-08-19T01:09:24Z")
I vote we pool our money to buy **Edwardian Prude’s** girlfriend a few CDs from the Genitorturers. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/40 "2009-08-19T01:15:46Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > I know of many affluent 30-50+ year olds that spend thousands of dollars following their favorite bands…If that’s what they want to spend their money on, so what? > [@aruvqan](#): > > Perhaps because in a relationship most people like to spend their leisure time together?.. Point taken. However, many of the people I was talking about are married couples that originally met at concerts. One couple in particular spent their entire summer following The Stones around, another pair traveled to Hawaii, Australia and Japan to see The Who. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868.md?page=3)