# I am Concerned that my Lady Friend Enjoys Rock Concerts So Much **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 18, 2009, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868 "2009-08-18T18:16:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/41 "2009-08-19T01:57:33Z")
I really would be more concerned with her taste in music and the fact that she spends a lot of good money to actually go to these particular concerts! I’m 39, and I would think twice about going to a teeny-bopper show (not to mention the “music” is drivel), is she one of those women who thinks she looks young as long as she acts young? Because no one’s trying to hit on her at these shows. They’re kinda laughing. ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/42 "2009-08-19T02:16:37Z")
I’m 44 and I go see Bruce Springsteen any time he’s in Vancouver. As long as Bruce keeps touring, I’ll keep going. I have seen dancing and I’ve certainly smelled marijuana at rock concerts, but I’ve yet to see outright debauchery. Her taste in music may be, well, not mine, but there’s not much wrong with going to concerts if you like the music. A girlfriend and I just went to a concert last Wednesday. Marvelous time. I don’t know about seeing 25 concerts by the same two artists in one year, though. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/43 "2009-08-19T14:25:14Z")
Assuming this isn’t a joke, I hope for her sake that she develops better taste in both music and men, takes herself to some decent concerts and dumps the OP. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/44 "2009-08-19T14:45:03Z")
I remember going to my first concert when I was 15 at the Armadillo World Headquarters in Austin and seeing a couple doin’ it on the floor. I was pretty sure that was going to be the norm for every other concert I’d ever go to. I can’t remember if it was a David Cook concert. Does he have like long hair and people sing along to his songs? ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/45 "2009-08-19T15:12:11Z")
If she was a really hot 20 some year old you would have reason to worry, i’ve never met a single female that was that obsessed with any kind of band that wouldn’t drop her panties to a band member the second they asked. In your case though i think you are pretty safe. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/46 "2009-08-19T15:49:08Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I hope you take this in the best possible way, but you’re being ridiculous. Do the math. She’s going every week. Or put another way, every weekend she’s gone. I love live music and could easily spend every friday at a bar for a couple of hours listening to bands. This goes way beyond that and would not only cut into couples-time on the weekend it would eliminate it. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/47 "2009-08-19T16:06:40Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > Do the math. She’s going every week. Every other, actually, but I see your point. There has to be some balance between “Do what makes you happy” and “I want to spend more time with you.” What I see as ridiculous is thinking that every concert is really a mass orgy/rape camp. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/48 "2009-08-19T16:18:31Z")
So…she’s an older, experienced woman in a well-populated public place with a friend for backup, and you’re afraid someone’s going to get into her panties by hook or by crook? Give her (and the men at these shows) some damn credit. 1. I know you guys don’t think of yourself as old, but most of the crowd at those shows is going to be about half your age and they _do_ think of you as old. Well, not _old_ old, but old enough that trying to get into her pants really isn’t on the radar, even if she wasn’t surrounded by women in the prime of their youth. So legitimate guys seriously hitting on her isn’t an issue. 2. If someone is looking for easy prey for attack or manipulation, very young women make _much_ better targets because they’re typically less tuned in to stuff like that and tend to be diffident about making a fuss if a situation starts turning a bit ugly. You know, _exactly_ what she said happened with that guy when you guys were teenagers. There’s a reason you tend to hear that story from teenagers and women in their 20’s and not from women in their 40’s and 50’s. So she’s not likely to be a target of skeevy guys who are up to something. 3.) Even if she _were_ to be a target, she’s not going home with anyone or inviting anyone back to her room, with her friend right there and you waiting for her to start your online chat. Her not turning up where and when you expect her would be an immediate tip-off something was up, and only a moron is going to do something that will immediately get them caught. Your gf is presumably not a moron, so that takes care of smooth-talking Lothario types. 1. As far as physical attack, where the hell do you think is going to be isolated enough for that? The auditorium is packed, the bathrooms are packed, the halls are full of people waiting in line for the pisser or buying beer or t-shirts or whatever–in order to be forcibly, it would either have to happen right in front of a crowd, or she’d have to be dragged kicking and screaming past a crowd. That ain’t gonna happen, so that takes care of the violent skeeves. This isn’t about someone “taking advantage” of her. This is about you not trusting her not to cheat on you if she gets half a chance. If she’s really so virtuous and true, it flat-out _doesn’t matter_ what kind of guys hit on her–she’s going to say no. If she’s apt to say yes…well, she’s not really very virtuous, is she? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/49 "2009-08-19T16:21:01Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > What I see as ridiculous is thinking that every concert is really a mass orgy/rape camp. Yeah. I think, “We don’t spend enough time together” is legit, but “She might be taken advantage of” is bizarre. ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/50 "2009-08-19T16:56:03Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > What bands is she following, anyway? Is Poison touring? Yes, with Cheap Trick and Def Leppard. My 14-year-old niece and I (then 40, now 41) went to see them when they played here in KC a few weeks ago. Neither of us was hit on or in any way importuned. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/51 "2009-08-19T17:15:49Z")
I used to date a girl that liked rock concerts very, very much. So much, in fact, that she would drag me to the Orlando House of Blues more or less weekly. You see, the Orlando HOB has a chunky metal railing that runs around the main floor, which sort of cordons off the bar area and sound mixer guy. This railing vibrates quite a lot during a concert (due to a combination of the speaker bass and people jumping up and down). She liked to sit on this railing in a skirt. I’m sure you can see where this is going. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/52 "2009-08-19T17:32:23Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Every other, actually, but I see your point. There has to be some balance between “Do what makes you happy” and “I want to spend more time with you.” > > What I see as ridiculous is thinking that every concert is really a mass orgy/rape camp. That was 26 concerts so far this year and this is week 34 so that would be 76% of the time. If there are mass orgies going on then at least the girlfriend should come home all primed and ready. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/53 "2009-08-19T17:50:18Z")
You guys do all get that she is not really going to concerts, right? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/54 "2009-08-19T17:54:23Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > That was 26 concerts so far this year and this is week 34 so that would be 76% of the time. Oh, he meant this calendar year? Yeah, that’s a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/55 "2009-08-19T17:59:22Z")
> [@Binarydrone](#): > > You guys do all get that she is not really going to concerts, right? You mean because she doesn’t actually exist? ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/56 "2009-08-19T18:23:04Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > You mean because she doesn’t actually exist? That is one possibility but what I was implying (assuming that she does exist and that the OP is on the level) is that it is far more probable that she is banging other dudes at these hotels. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/57 "2009-08-19T18:24:11Z")
> [@Binarydrone](#): > > That is one possibility but what I was implying (assuming that she does exist and that the OP is on the level) is that it is far more probable that she is banging other dudes at these hotels. Why? ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/58 "2009-08-19T18:42:33Z")
Because nobody in their right mind would want to see David Cook 26 times? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/59 "2009-08-19T18:42:27Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Why? She spends more weekends away from him than with him, and she has a perfect excuse. Of course, that assumes that she’s meeting guys in all those different cities, or that one guy is following the band around the country. It seems kind of unlikely to me. ---
**Author:** ![MissIntent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/97f17d/32.png) [@MissIntent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissIntent)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868/60 "2009-08-19T19:02:38Z")
OP said they were in a long distance relationship. I am very curious if she is choosing to see bands instead of seeing him, or if she’s choosing to see bands instead of sitting at home knitting while they’re apart. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-concerned-that-my-lady-friend-enjoys-rock-concerts-so-much/506868.md?page=4)