# I Am Contemplating Converting To Judaism **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 11, 2009, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411 "2009-10-11T16:54:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Foxy40](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Foxy40](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foxy40)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411/1 "2009-10-11T16:54:33Z")
I have begun by reading several books on history, tradition, practice, belief and a couple on the Talmud. It is something that I feel pretty strongly about but I do not know where to go from here. I subscribed to an email newsletters but they really don’t give any information on beginning the process itself. Would a rabbi simply take a meeting with me if I call or should I attend services without being a member? Would that be disrespectful? I know that I intend to explore a reformed sect which I understand is easier than trying to get involved with the Orthodox denomination. Any one know how to begin this process? Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![liirogue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dbc845/32.png) [@liirogue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liirogue)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411/2 "2009-10-11T17:09:07Z")
I converted to Judaism about 7 years ago. I simply called the local synagogue and asked to speak with the rabbi. We met weekly for about 2 years before I went through the ceremonies. I understand that some synagogues have classes they hold for people interested in Judaism. If you speak with a rabbi, be prepared to be turned away three times. It’s a ritual that a lot don’t follow any more, but some find it a useful gauge of your intentions. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411/3 "2009-10-11T19:01:57Z")
I ask in complete seriousness, why do you want to convert to Judaism? What is it that’s so appealing? There’s a lot of work involved both in converting and in being a Jew. Have you considered becoming a Noahide instead? ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411/4 "2009-10-11T19:38:43Z")
The latkes really aren’t worth the effort. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411/5 "2009-10-11T19:42:04Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > The latkes really aren’t worth the effort. You wouldn’t say that if you had tasted my father’s latkes! Like a little piece of potato heaven they were. ---
**Author:** ![Foxy40](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Foxy40](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foxy40)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2009, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411/6 "2009-10-12T01:12:30Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > I ask in complete seriousness, why do you want to convert to Judaism? What is it that’s so appealing? There’s a lot of work involved both in converting and in being a Jew. Have you considered becoming a Noahide instead? That is an excellent question and one I had better be prepared to answer. Even though I have been raised a Catholic, I have always felt that Judaism is the one true religion. I have never believed in JC as the son of G-d and I find truth and comfort in the traditions of the Jews. Growing up I had many Jewish friends and always found comfort in their beliefs where I have never found comfort in my own. I think I would love to be orthodox because I do believe that is the true way to G-d but I have been informed that it is almost impossible for a convert to be accepted. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2009, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411/7 "2009-10-12T01:44:22Z")
> [@Foxy40](#): > > I think I would love to be orthodox because I do believe that is the true way to G-d but I have been informed that it is almost impossible for a convert to be accepted. Hm, it’s not really been my experience that most Jews think that Judaism i s the “true way to god”. Jews generally think that Judaism is the right way for _Jews_, but not really everyone else. To be honest, I think that answer will get you raised eyebrows. However, I don’t necessarily think it will be impossible for a convert to be accepted. I know people who have converted Orthodox and seemed happy enough. Disclaimer: I’m not Orthodox and never have been. There are Orthodox Dopers who could discuss that issue better than I. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2009, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411/8 "2009-10-12T02:02:30Z")
Check to see if an “Introduction to Judaism” class is held anywhere in your area. In cities where they’re offered, Jewish congregations will make them practically mandatory for converts, as well as meeting with rabbis. Some things you _don’t_ have to do when you convert, at least with Reform Judaism: - Be fluent in Hebrew, or be able to read the alphabet with proficiency. With born Jews, reading Hebrew came with Years of classes. You won’t be expected to do that. - Be able to flawlessly navigate a service at a synagogue. The order or service can seem quite chaotic compared to a Christian service, especially when varying degrees of Hebrew are used. Even when a siddur (a Jewish prayer book) has an entire liturgy printed in order, there’s still going to be a lot of page skipping and hipping; jump to this back, go back to this page, jump ahead to this page, and so on. - Know all about every single holiday on a Jewish calendar. Many of those days are important for Orthodox Jews, but of little or no significance to Reform Jews. Basically, in most Reform congregations, the holidays of note include: - Rosh Hashanah - Yom Kippur - Sukkot - Simchat Torah (fun!) - Hanukkah - Purim (_lots_ of fun!) - Passover - Savuout ---
**Author:** ![corvidae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@corvidae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corvidae)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2009, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411/9 "2009-10-12T03:52:51Z")
It’s not impossible to convert to orthodox Judaism, but it’s certainly a lot of work. I know a couple of people who’ve done it. ---
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2009, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411/10 "2009-10-12T08:09:01Z")
> [@corvidae](#): > > It’s not impossible to convert to orthodox Judaism, but it’s certainly a lot of work. I know a couple of people who’ve done it. I did it. You’re right: it was rough. I even had the hatafat dam brit,which was not fun at all… ---
**Author:** ![Shinna\_Minna\_Ma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f08c70/32.png) [@Shinna\_Minna\_Ma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shinna_Minna_Ma)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2009, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411/11 "2009-10-12T13:37:17Z")
> [@Foxy40](#): > > I know that I intend to explore a reformed sect which I understand is easier than trying to get involved with the Orthodox denomination. Please bear in mind that if your conversion is done by a reform rabbi, the conversion will not be recognized by most, if not all, orthodox Jews. How could this affect you? Look at the following two examples: [ol] [li]Say as time goes on, you may decide to become more observant. Eventually, you will get to a point where your conversion is questioned, to the point where you would have to convert again - according to Orthodox rules.[/li][li]If you would ever decide to get married in an orthodox Jewish ceremony, your conversion would certainly be questioned.[/li][/ol] This is not to scare you, just to point out some things you should consider but may not know ahead of time. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2009, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411/12 "2009-10-12T13:37:51Z")
I converted to Judaism in 2003. > [@kidneyfailure](#): > > I even had the hatafat dam brit,which was not fun at all… I think **Foxy** ’s a woman. If so, she wouldn’t have to worry about that. > [@friedo](#): > > The latkes really aren’t worth the effort. You’ve obviously been eating the wrong latkes. Good ones are soooo worth it. > [@Foxy40](#): > > should I attend services without being a member? Would that be disrespectful? It’s fine to attend services without being a member, except on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Synagogues issue tickets to their members and check them on those days, but on other days that doesn’t happen. Some tips if you do go to services, mostly derived from the Conservative services I’ve been to: They’re longer than typical Protestant Christian services (I don’t know about Catholic services, never having been to one, but the Protestant services I went to growing up were one hour). Shabbat morning services might start around 9:30 and end around noon. Most people don’t show up right at the beginning of services, and you will stand out if you do. It’s perfectly OK to show up about 30 minutes after the start of services. You’ll see people leaving before the end, too. There will probably be a basket of yarmulkes outside the room where the service is being held. Men should wear them (including non-Jewish men). Some women do, but it’s not required for us. There may also be striped fringed prayer shawls. You should not wear one of these until you have actually converted. You should not accept an aliyah (going up to read the Torah, though you actually just say the blessings before and after the Torah reading in most synagogues) until you have actually converted. Here are some books for you to read to get started: _Choosing a Jewish Life_ by Anita Diamant. Conversion from a liberal (non-Orthodox) Jewish perspective. _Becoming a Jew_ by Maurice Lamm. Orthodox perspective on conversion. _The Jewish Holidays_ by Michael Strassfeld. Holidays. _Living a Jewish Life_ by Anita Diamant. A non-Orthodox perspective on things like keeping kosher and Shabbat. _How to Run a Traditional Jewish Household_ by Blu Greenberg. Running an Orthodox household. _Jewish Literacy_ by Joseph Telushkin. Lots of good basic info. If and when you do meet with a rabbi, he or she will undoubtedly give you a more extensive reading list. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2009, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411/13 "2009-10-12T13:50:55Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > You wouldn’t say that if you had tasted my father’s latkes! Like a little piece of potato heaven they were. Potatoes? You could make latkes out of potatoes, I suppose, if you don’t have any other options. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2009, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411/14 "2009-10-12T13:57:55Z")
> [@Shinna\_Minna\_Ma](#): > > Please bear in mind that if your conversion is done by a reform rabbi, the conversion will not be recognized by most, if not all, orthodox Jews. How could this affect you? Look at the following two examples: > [ol] > [li]Say as time goes on, you may decide to become more observant. Eventually, you will get to a point where your conversion is questioned, to the point where you would have to convert again - according to Orthodox rules.[/li][li]If you would ever decide to get married in an orthodox Jewish ceremony, your conversion would certainly be questioned.[/li][/ol] > > This is not to scare you, just to point out some things you should consider but may not know ahead of time. On the other hand, several years of living “Jewish lite” then going up to an Orthodox rabbi and saying “I want the real deal” (by his standards) might carry more weight then simply walking off the street and announcing you want to be Orthodox. I don’t know, it’s obviously going to vary all over the place. Fact is, Jews don’t seek converts. They want only serious applicants to apply, and they’re going to ask you to demonstrate your commitment and sincerity. Hence, the long tradition for discouraging people from joining. If you aren’t willing to persevere they don’t want you in the group. Please do your research. By all means, start living as a Jew, keeping the customs and laws, even before your final conversion. Approach rabbis and synagogues. I have always found that Jews are quite open to discussing their beliefs and practices with those who have a sincere desire to learn more. I have also found them to be MUCH better at coaching visitors to services on what to expect and how to behave, as opposed to Christians who tend to just assume you know (what, you’re really not Christian? Never?) and can get ticked off when you bungle through ignorance. Conversion to Orthodox is certainly possible. I know someone who converted to _ultra_ Orthodox, one of the Hasidic groups. But they don’t make it easy. The reason the process is made long and difficult is to weed out those who aren’t capable of making the lifelong commitment required to be an Orthodox Jew. ---
**Author:** ![Shinna\_Minna\_Ma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f08c70/32.png) [@Shinna\_Minna\_Ma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shinna_Minna_Ma)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2009, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411/15 "2009-10-12T15:09:07Z")
> [@](#): > > I think I would love to be orthodox because I do believe that is the true way to G-d but I have been informed that it is almost impossible for a convert to be accepted. I am observant, and I know many who have converted and are observant as well. They are very well accepted in the community, and in fact, most people do not know that they are converts. ---
**Author:** ![Foxy40](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Foxy40](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foxy40)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2009, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411/16 "2009-10-12T18:07:31Z")
I found a conversion seminar happening in Miami and have requested some information about that. I was emailed a name of a Rabbi to contact to talk to about attending. I guess I’ll see how that goes. Thanks for the tips especially the reading material. Keep them coming please. ---
**Author:** ![Foxy40](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Foxy40](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foxy40)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2009, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411/17 "2009-10-12T18:09:16Z")
> [@Kyla](#): > > Hm, it’s not really been my experience that most Jews think that Judaism i s the “true way to god”. Jews generally think that Judaism is the right way for _Jews_, but not really everyone else. To be honest, I think that answer will get you raised eyebrows. Could you explain this more please. I am not sure I understand why this would “raise eyebrows”. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2009, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411/18 "2009-10-12T18:32:12Z")
> [@Foxy40](#): > > Could you explain this more please. I am not sure I understand why this would “raise eyebrows”. I get what Kyla is saying. (I am not practicing, but raised Reform and my parents raised Orthodox - OY!) Jews are supposed to do the commandments of Judaism, because they are the right way to live right now, not for some future reward. For example, you are supposed to do good works (Tikkun Olam, heal the world) because it is good for the world, and the Jewish people as a whole, not for some future judgment of your character. If you fail to participate in, say charity, or social justice, there isn’t any punishment, except that within yourself you will know you are not acting as a Jew should. Most Jews don’t believe in the possibility of a punishing afterlife, and many believe only very vaguely in any afterlife, such that there is no way to know what actions in life would benefit you in the afterlife. I guess overall it seems like a weirdly Christian motivation for practicing Judaism. Then again, you know what they say. two Jews, three opinions. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2009, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411/19 "2009-10-12T18:52:22Z")
Basically, Jews tend to be suspicious of people who convert for religious reasons. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2009, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411/20 "2009-10-12T19:04:58Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > Most Jews don’t believe in the possibility of a punishing afterlife, and many believe only very vaguely in any afterlife, such that there is no way to know what actions in life would benefit you in the afterlife. I guess overall it seems like a weirdly Christian motivation for practicing Judaism. > > Then again, you know what they say. two Jews, three opinions. As a former Conservative Jew, I was trained to believe the same. God loves those who aren’t Jews as much as He loves those who are. Being chose involves special obligations stemming from the Covenant with Abraham. This explains why no attempt is made at conversion - unlike what Christians believe, there are not necessarily benefits to the convert. (Except the latkes, that is. ) If **Foxy40** wants to convert because she feels it is backing the right horse in some sense, she is doing it for the wrong reason. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-contemplating-converting-to-judaism/513411.md?page=2)