# I am creating my own country. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 13, 2004, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892 "2004-07-13T14:36:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892/21 "2004-07-13T20:37:49Z")
Can I be Manager of Sewage and Waste Management? That has always been a dream of mine but I haven’t had any luck breaking into the field here in the U.S. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892/22 "2004-07-13T21:22:20Z")
Check out this tropical paradise 😉 [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=179750&highlight=desert+island+dopers](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=179750&highlight=desert+island+dopers) ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892/23 "2004-07-13T21:27:36Z")
I would like to be Secretary of Livestock and Agriculture. I would declare the entire island accessible to dogs except for a few small cat parks and promote the growth of recreational and therapeutic, ahem, agricultural commodities. Also, I would like a private jet (willing to time-share) and a lifetime supply of beer and sunblock. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![RainGrowsBrite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@RainGrowsBrite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RainGrowsBrite)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892/24 "2004-07-13T21:44:52Z")
I would like to be **Commander and Cheif of Bars/Clubs and Pubs**. How about that? I will report to, our **Director of Leisure- picker**. If you would like to open a bar, pub or club you must pass it thru me. Also, I get to drink for free at any of these establishments, when and how I want. 😃 Any questions about bars/clubs and pubs need to go thru me. Fire away! ---
**Author:** ![Abbie\_Carmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Abbie\_Carmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abbie_Carmichael)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892/25 "2004-07-13T22:00:40Z")
I shall be the Secretary of Anagrams. Mango Republic can be rearranged to spell: **Enigma Club Pro** (aha, we now have the name of our version of the PGA) **Image Club Porn** (the adult bookstore), which will be in competition with the other adult bookstore, **Magic Lube Porn** **Genial Bum Corp** (the panhandler’s union) **Bioclean Grump** (a housecleaning agency that only hires pissed off people) **Curable Moping** (psychiatrist’s office) I’m also fond of “Gulp More Cabin” and “Bagel Coin Rump” and vow to spend hundreds of thousands of tax dollars taking fact-finding trips to tropical locations to find out what those two phrases mean. When I’m not doing that, I shall be Director of Programming for the local TV station. All Law & Order, all the time. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892/26 "2004-07-13T22:07:05Z")
You’re going to need medical personnel. To treat sunburns, and so forth. I can be **Q the M’s** nurse. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892/27 "2004-07-13T22:32:44Z")
Welby, it’s not Minister of Happiness, it’s Czar of Fun. We have one out here. I’m not sure what the duties are but– Oh, hang on, it’s time for my daily government mandated prozac dose. OK, now that everything’s all better, can I be in charge of piracy? I have more parrots than Bosda has and they can terrorize people and one of them can say “Arrrrrrrgh.” (Yeah, he generally just says this to his foot, but, hey, he’s good at grabbing gold and jewels and other shiny objects. He’ll bring in lots of booty! Although his idea of booty isn’t the same as ours.) ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892/28 "2004-07-13T23:20:08Z")
I hereby request to be the Commandant General of the Département de la Sûreté Publique. And the guy who sells all the beer. ---
**Author:** ![SuperDuperMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecb155/32.png) [@SuperDuperMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperDuperMan)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892/29 "2004-07-14T00:14:15Z")
You’re all hired. Now to anwer some questions. > [@](#): > > I would like to know about immigration laws. I live in the states (PA), my husband lives in Canada (BC). Will it cost us money we don’t have to immigrate to the Mango Republic? Firstborn children? Souls, (on the off-chance we have them)? You already seem to have lots of applicants for high level positions, I can’t speak for the husband, but I’d be happy with a 9-5 that pays basic living costs, that I leave at the end of the day so I can actually think about the things I like. Actually, I like working nights better, so make that an 8 (ok, or 10) hour shift, at the time most people would rather not be working. And of course, 2 weeks paid vacation per year and whatever holidays we will observe in the Republic off with pay. I really don’t need much. I don’t think living with your spouse is a lot to ask, is it? As long as you pass the accpetance test, you’re in for free. > [@](#): > > Question. How will our glorious leader come to be? Election? Heredity? The leader is the one with the money or monkeys. > [@](#): > > What is the monetary unit of The Mango Republic and what does the flag look like? > > Also, what is the Mangonian stance on extradition treaties and money laundering? The monetary unit is the Counchin. The flag will be a scence from the all dog version of the Matrix. If it’s illegal here, we’ll ship you out, but things you can do here won’t be grounds for extradition. You can launder money only if it’s yours. > [@](#): > > What are the laws regarding the kidnapping of gorgeous male actors for use as harem slaves? And can I claim exclusivity on Vin Diesel and James Marsters? I don’t want pepperlandgirl and jarbabyj to try to claim them. As long as they keep quiet. We need our sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Tiggrkitty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggrkitty/32/17966_2.png) [@Tiggrkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiggrkitty)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892/30 "2004-07-14T00:24:39Z")
I submit my application for project manager and techology engineer. I mean someone has to create project plans and manage man/woman hours and project timelines to make sure we do not over run our budget! After we finish this I would like to humbly apply for the “recreational consultant” job. aka beach bum because after all the project planing and budget watching I will be due for some time off! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tiggrkitty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggrkitty/32/17966_2.png) [@Tiggrkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiggrkitty)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892/31 "2004-07-14T00:26:20Z")
> [@Tiggrkitty](#): > > I submit my application for project manager and techology engineer. > > I mean someone has to create project plans and manage man/woman hours and project timelines to make sure we do not over run our budget! > > After we finish this I would like to humbly apply for the “recreational consultant” job. aka beach bum because after all the project planing and budget watching I will be due for some time off! > > 😃 Nevermind…if I can’t spell technology…why would you vote me in? PREVIEW IS MY FRIEND!!! so why don’t I use it more often? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892/32 "2004-07-14T00:30:21Z")
I can…bake extremly yummy desserts. And…I’m very flexible. Like I can put my legs above my head. So can I join and help your island in some way? ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892/33 "2004-07-14T00:49:13Z")
I’m assuming that English will be the mother tongue of the Mango Republic. Will it be the official language? If so, I’d like to suggest that we have a Language Academy (modeled on [L’Academie Francaise](http://english1.peopledaily.com.cn/200306/12/eng20030612_118087.shtml)) to regulate spelling, pronunciation, and usage. Furthermore, I’ll humbly nominate myself as the chairman of this soon-to-be-august institution. I’m sure that I’ll have plenty of volunteer underlings – um, _associates_ – given the fact that one of the perks of the office is the right to design and carry your very own symbolically significant sword! How about it, **SanguineSpider**? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892/34 "2004-07-14T01:07:41Z")
I would like to volunteer my services as your **Minister of Space Affairs**. I propose to oversee the construction of our space elevator, the quiet purchase of several ICBMs (to be retrofitted into civilian space boosters), the launch and control of our overhead intelligence collection assets. My qualifications include: - I’m a real live rocket scientist - Participated in satellite purchasing for the USAF - Selected by peers as Flight Strategist during Aerospace Basic School, a gov’t funded four-week wargaming class - Once almost burned down friend’s house experimenting with hypergolic fuels - Referred to as a “space cadet” since age 4 - Could probably kidnap Burt Rutan with a crack team of Dopers - Fascinated with affairs in space since I saw the ending to _Moonraker_ If this position is taken or the barriers to space are too high for our meager means, consider selecting me as your **Supreme Allied Air Marshall for Dirigibles, Aerostats, and Autogyros** or your **Special Minister Without Portfolio and Pretty Smart Guy**. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892/35 "2004-07-14T01:36:36Z")
I’d like to head the **Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things**. If that post is filled, can I be Transportation Secretary? My first act would be to enact the death penalty for anybody who fails to take the right of way at a four-way stop when their turn comes up. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892/36 "2004-07-14T01:41:18Z")
I take the Ministry of Squandering, where I we´ll promote ambitious proyects into the highest levels of implausibility, inflating budgets in the most obscene ways possible to assure that no endeavor reaches it´s conclusion. I´ll throw a party upon my election, pork for everyone! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892/37 "2004-07-14T02:08:01Z")
The key question: Is the importation, possession, and deployment of **18"DHIBJD** :eek: :eek: going to be legal in this new country? ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892/38 "2004-07-14T02:11:57Z")
Can I be in charge of the _Institute For Children Who Can’t Read Good And Want To Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too_? ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892/39 "2004-07-14T03:42:24Z")
Who is going to be the Cheif Commander for Demolitions, Sea Fare Maiden of the Sea (Captain), Gravy Train Specialist, Official Pompous Jack Ass, Head of the Ministry of Alphabet Organization, Deputry of Devirginization, Head of Helium Distribution, and Living Breathing Statue of Sheer Terror Who Uses Comically Oversized Head to Scare Possible Lunatics and Park Ranger Tourists Away? These are the most overlooked positions anytime someone tries to start a new country and in many cases the most vital. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892/40 "2004-07-14T03:56:38Z")
> [@flamingbananas](#): > > I’m very flexible. Like I can put my legs above my head. So can I join and help your island in some way? We’re going to need photo evidence of this before we can bring you on board. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-creating-my-own-country/254892.md?page=3)