# I am fed up with my sex drive **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 6, 2012, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fed-up-with-my-sex-drive/627476 "2012-07-06T22:47:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fed-up-with-my-sex-drive/627476/101 "2012-07-20T00:58:46Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > This is, I’m sorry, ridiculous. Yes, if he stops being a jerk, then he’ll still be awkward. But an awkward jerk has a farther way to go than an awkward nice dude. And the jerkiness is easier to get rid of. Start there, and work upward. > > \ > > 1. Be desireless. You want to get laid, or get in a relationship, or something like that? Yeah, yeah, everyone does. The problem is that if your desire is too clear, it comes across desperate: potential partners, even women looking for some action themselves, are going to read it as, “No other woman will fuck me! Will YOU???!!!” And that’s skeevy. Somehow you gotta get out of that mode of seeing every interaction as possibly ending up in bed. > 2. Be excellent. Competence is super-sexy. What you’re competent at isn’t as important–I literally once had a woman tell me that my fast touch-typing was a turn-on, and other women offered me (joking) marriage proposals over my kickass blueberry pie. You don’t want to be bragging about it constantly, nor do you want to bore people (“I’m a big fan of telephone transformers. Would you like to hear the history of the ones installed in Oregon from 1924 to 1929? Let me bore you for the next two hours with that history…”), but if you’re good at something, that’s sexy. > > Again, the caveat: I was really bad at dating. Social awkwardness comes in various degress, apparently, from mild to fatal. For the suave, dating can go smoothly, or at least, smooth enough to give the appearance that it’s no big heroic effort. For the not-so-suave, the very act of trying to get a gf is a major effort – The very effort of which, itself, necessarily comes off looking “desperate” and thus self-destructing. After all, it’s utterly oxymoronic to be “desireless” yet put any visibly heroic effort into dating. For the seriously not-suave, the very act of trying to get a gf requires such massive (and inevitably inept and desperate) effort as to be utterly intractable. Now pile on a few years of this. How is one ever going to be comfortable around females after that? How will someone like **gvozd** , who obviously isn’t comfortable with females at all, EVER get past that? ETA: Sorry, I meant to include this link: [page from a date coaching site](http://www.deannalorraine.com/date-coaching-services/mens-date-coaching-3/mens-date-coaching-program). Look how damn complicated it’s described as being! How could a socially awkward dude, nice or otherwise, ever plow though all that. (Unless, of course, said awkward dude has $4000-some bucks to spend on that program, which doesn’t even come with any guarantees that I can see.) Given that, just being “competent” at _something_ isn’t going to count for much. ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fed-up-with-my-sex-drive/627476/102 "2012-07-20T01:32:57Z")
I was going to ask if you had considered saltpeter but then I read this: > **[Saltpeter in the Military](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/the-saltpeter-principle/)** > > Does the U.S. Army secretly feed new recruits saltpeter in order to suppress their sexual urges? ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fed-up-with-my-sex-drive/627476/103 "2012-07-20T01:51:14Z")
> [@Ignatz](#): > > I was going to ask if you had considered saltpeter but then I read this: > [http://www.snopes.com/military/saltpeter.asp](http://www.snopes.com/military/saltpeter.asp) Aha! So there is a Plan C for **gvozd**! All he needs to do is join the Army. ---
**Author:** ![gvozd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gvozd/32/7301_2.png) [@gvozd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gvozd)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fed-up-with-my-sex-drive/627476/104 "2012-07-20T02:01:42Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Aha! So there is a Plan C for **gvozd**! All he needs to do is join the Army. I know well this. Some religious schools and colleges use this thing in their dorms in order to make their students concentrate on their studies in Turkey. My dad, army officer, would confirm they use it in the army meals as well. The problem is tha long-time usage is very harmful on the body. I already got it in my tea during the busy exam weeks in high school. I don’t dare to use it for a long time. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fed-up-with-my-sex-drive/627476/105 "2012-07-20T02:14:16Z")
> [@gvozd](#): > > I know well this. Some religious schools and colleges use this thing in their dorms in order to make their students concentrate on their studies in Turkey. My dad, army officer, would confirm they use it in the army meals as well. The problem is tha long-time usage is very harmful on the body. I already got it in my tea during the busy exam weeks in high school. I don’t dare to use it for a long time. No, you missed the point! Being in the Army doesn’t reduce the recruits sex drive because they put gunpowder in the food. Being in the Army works simply because being in the Army is such a stressful way of life itself that you don’t have the time or energy to be horny. That was the whole point of that snopes article. You could try googling for Chemical Castration to find out about drugs to do it. Wikipedia has a brief [article on the subject](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemical_castration). However, almost EVERYTHING that google turns up, including that Wiki article, is all about treatments for convicted sex offenders. There’s hardly any discussion of it for males who just don’t want to be bothered by sex urges. That Wiki article does mention a whole bunch of different drugs that have been used for the purpose. ---
**Author:** ![gvozd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gvozd/32/7301_2.png) [@gvozd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gvozd)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fed-up-with-my-sex-drive/627476/106 "2012-07-20T16:22:12Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > Nobody fucking promised you sex. Calm down champion. Anger stem from fear. Therefore can we say you are afraid that you are called as female? I assume you are not able defend yourself. All others act like your lawyer. If you are mad or have personal problems with me, PM and we can arrange real-life meeting. eheh ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fed-up-with-my-sex-drive/627476/107 "2012-07-20T16:32:19Z")
Pit thread [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=659225). ---
**Author:** ![gvozd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gvozd/32/7301_2.png) [@gvozd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gvozd)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fed-up-with-my-sex-drive/627476/108 "2012-07-20T16:36:16Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > Pit thread [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=659225). Answered. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fed-up-with-my-sex-drive/627476/109 "2012-07-20T19:21:28Z")
Since there’s a Pit thread, let’s confine the snark and snarl there, and if anyone has any advice they think might be useful to Mr. **gvozd** , feel free to continue to post here. That goes for you, too, **gvozd** ; don’t threatened other people. ---
**Author:** ![donkeyoatey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47c2d/32.png) [@donkeyoatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/donkeyoatey)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fed-up-with-my-sex-drive/627476/110 "2012-07-20T20:58:10Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > don’t threatened other people. :)You crack me up Ms **Cherry** ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fed-up-with-my-sex-drive/627476/111 "2012-07-20T23:21:21Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > Just a tip, but you might want to start referring to us as women, not females. Female is best used as an adjective - a female student, the female gender. Calling women females makes you sound like a twit harboring anger towards the people who won’t have sex with you or like a field biologist cataloging a new species. Neither of those is great for solving your problem. Eh, I think men who use the words “females” when referring to women sound so hard up that females of **any** species will do. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fed-up-with-my-sex-drive/627476/112 "2012-07-20T23:32:48Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Eh, I think men who use the words “females” when referring to women sound so hard up that females of **any** species will do. Perhaps but female is a noun also ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2012, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fed-up-with-my-sex-drive/627476/113 "2012-07-21T00:55:19Z")
Your proplem is real and not so hard to fix, each time you have an orgasm you release some endorfins into your brain, very similar to heroin. Chances are that when you graduated high school you found yourself with more time on your hands, bored, horny and wacked off more, you gradually have increased your need for the endorfin and increased your tollerance for it. Identical to opiate withdrawal. The fix is to go through withdrawal, about 7 days, limit yourself to wacking off no more than 3 times a day and try to gradually reduce that to one or two. If you can stop wacking off entirely for 7 days and then try going back to a normal ejaculation schedule it will be easier in the long run. The emotional addiction to this may last for months! With some self control you should go back to normal. ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2012, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fed-up-with-my-sex-drive/627476/114 "2012-07-21T02:31:43Z")
Well, **gvozd** , since my saltpeter didn’t salt your peter, I have another suggestion. When I was in the US Navy cruising the Mediteranean for 2 years, the admiral’s flagship I was on was big and brassed enough to have an onboard full m.d. At least one of my “intact” office cow-orkers swore that he would never go to sick bay because the doctor had a habit of circumsizing any one who needed it (phimotics(?)) and, supposedly, those who didn’t need (want) it done. Well, as the tail, er, tale, goes, when, after the operation on adult sailors and Marines, there was a period of bed rest and recuperation during which the member would periodically stand at attention, slowing the healing process, and causing pain. Well, to alleviate that, the medics made use of an ampule of some chemical which, when broken near it, caused instant wilting of the erect member. It’s been decades since I was there and I don’t remember if I ever knew the name of the antiviagra but an m.d. might be able to describe or prescribe it. I wonder if the lady m.d. that lived in the then brand new high rise apartment block in Bakirkoy, south of Istanbul, is still there. Had a great time there even though the toilet was a hole in the porcelain floor. But I digress. Is our prison m.d. \*\*Qadgop the Mercotan \*\* still posting? He must have similar situations in hs sick bay. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fed-up-with-my-sex-drive/627476.md?page=5)