# I am Fucking Moron! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 18, 2001, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908 "2001-07-18T09:39:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Klaatu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Klaatu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klaatu)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908/1 "2001-07-18T09:39:32Z")
This is just a rant, no reply expected… I came home from the bar, got some food, and a big ole glass of milk, which is good stuff, and spilled it all over my computers, tv remote, kb’s, everywhere, I am pissed! Amazingly, this kb seems to be working… Shit, fuck, hell and Damnation! I need to let the shit dry out… FUCK, SHIT, got milk?? Just a rant… ---
**Author:** ![Klaatu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Klaatu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klaatu)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908/2 "2001-07-18T09:46:26Z")
forgot the a even. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908/3 "2001-07-18T10:35:15Z")
I did that with water about a week ago. My keyboard’s ‘m’ key has been quite uncooperative ever since. Hope your stuff makes a full recovery. ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908/4 "2001-07-18T11:00:55Z")
So should that “a” be between “am” and “fucking”, or “fucking” and “moron”? 😃 pan ---
**Author:** ![Mort\_Furd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Mort\_Furd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mort_Furd)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908/5 "2001-07-18T11:04:42Z")
Is Moron enjoying it? ---
**Author:** ![Klaatu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Klaatu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klaatu)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908/6 "2001-07-18T11:04:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kabbes \* > \*\*So should that “a” be between “am” and “fucking”, or “fucking” and “moron”? > > 😃 > > pan \*\* Smartass 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908/7 "2001-07-18T11:22:19Z")
Are you kidding? Spilling liquids (chocolate milk is my favorite) on my desk is the only time it ever gets cleaned - and FAST! Esprix ---
**Author:** ![johnson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d07c76/32.png) [@johnson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnson)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908/8 "2001-07-18T12:23:46Z")
Judging by the number of people who have apparently sprayed every component of their computer with a variety of beverages in the course of reading mildly amusing posts, I’d assume you have nothing to worry about… ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908/9 "2001-07-18T17:33:08Z")
You think _you’re_ a moron? On my way to class today, I arbitrarily decided that Newton’s laws of motion just didn’t apply to me. Because, if I had, I wouldn’t have taken the lid off a full cup of coffee at a stop light, held it over my lap, and then accelerated when the light turned green, thus spilling scalding hot coffee all over my lap. Oh, and I had to keep holding onto it as it burned its way through my skin on my hands while I desperately tried to pull over to the side of the road. Stopping invoked Newton’s laws yet _again_ and, in total, I lost a good third of my coffee to my seat, my pants, and my hands. I drank the rest though. It was pretty good. ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908/10 "2001-07-18T20:24:39Z")
My keyboard is so dirty that it is waterproof. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908/11 "2001-07-18T20:37:03Z")
> [@](#): > > FUCK, SHIT, got milk?? Well, THAT’s something you don’t see on billboards every day! I once had to bring my laptop in for service after dropping a piece of Oreo cookie under the keys. They had to pick the keyboard up and off and dig Oreo out of everywhere. New rule: No eating or drinking while computing! (Yeah, that lasted about an hour!) Zette ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908/12 "2001-07-18T21:18:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by johnson \* > \*\*Judging by the number of people who have apparently sprayed every component of their computer with a variety of beverages in the course of reading mildly amusing posts, I’d assume you have nothing to worry about… \*\* au contraire. I’ve had to replace several keyboards. ---
**Author:** ![MrWhy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9f8e36/32.png) [@MrWhy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrWhy)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908/13 "2001-07-19T06:41:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > \*\*You think _you’re_ a moron? On my way to class today, I arbitrarily decided that Newton’s laws of motion just didn’t apply to me. Because, if I had, I wouldn’t have taken the lid off a full cup of coffee at a stop light, held it over my lap, and then accelerated when the light turned green, thus spilling scalding hot coffee all over my lap. Oh, and I had to keep holding onto it as it burned its way through my skin on my hands while I desperately tried to pull over to the side of the road. Stopping invoked Newton’s laws yet _again_ and, in total, I lost a good third of my coffee to my seat, my pants, and my hands. > > I drank the rest though. It was pretty good. \*\* Surely you can sue someone for that… ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908/14 "2001-07-19T07:08:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MrWhy \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > > \*\*You think _you’re_ a moron? On my way to class today, I arbitrarily decided that Newton’s laws of motion just didn’t apply to me. Because, if I had, I wouldn’t have taken the lid off a full cup of coffee at a stop light, held it over my lap, and then accelerated when the light turned green, thus spilling scalding hot coffee all over my lap. Oh, and I had to keep holding onto it as it burned its way through my skin on my hands while I desperately tried to pull over to the side of the road. Stopping invoked Newton’s laws yet _again_ and, in total, I lost a good third of my coffee to my seat, my pants, and my hands. > > > > I drank the rest though. It was pretty good. \*\* > > Surely you can sue someone for that… \*\* Only if it was hot enough to cause physical damage (like scalds), and then you can say the warranty of fitness for a particular purpose (ie, drinking) had been breached. After all, if it scalds your thigh, imagine what it would do to your mouth! :eek: (Yes, that’s what happened in the McDonald’s case. The woman had every right to sue. After all, why should we have to expect that our drinks, even the hot ones, will come to us hot enough to physically hurt us?) ---
**Author:** ![BooBoo316](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@BooBoo316](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BooBoo316)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908/15 "2001-07-19T08:51:08Z")
I lost several cheap POS keyboards to spills, before I bought an expensive ergonomic one. Not one spill in over a year. So, **Klaatu** , buy yourself some expensive shit and you will be too scared to spill on it. ---
**Author:** ![FarmerOak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@FarmerOak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FarmerOak)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908/16 "2001-07-19T11:16:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\*Are you kidding? Spilling liquids (chocolate milk is my favorite) on my desk is the only time it ever gets cleaned - and FAST! > > \*\* And here I thought you people were chronically neat. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Derfel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bb73d2/32.png) [@Lord\_Derfel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Derfel)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908/17 "2001-07-19T17:58:14Z")
Speaking of things spilled on keyboards, my dad (a doctor) had an assistant spill a urine sample all over her keyboard. It still worked, but no one wanted to use it (wonder why?). Ick. ---
**Author:** ![Lucki\_Chaarms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lucki\_Chaarms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucki_Chaarms)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908/18 "2001-07-19T18:57:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sterra \* > \*\*My keyboard is so dirty that it is waterproof. \*\* Hahaha. I laugh at all of you, because I am now the proud owner of **THE MEMOREX TS1000 SPILLPROOF KEYBOARD!!**. On the box it has a picture of it with a cup of coffee spilled all over it. Ohhhhh yeah. Lucky Charms ---
**Author:** ![vebr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/eb8c5e/32.png) [@vebr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vebr)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908/19 "2001-07-19T21:14:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Klaatu \* > \*\*forgot the a even. \*\* Ah. I thought it was, like, your Super Hero name. I am Fuck Moron. Fear my milk… ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908/20 "2001-07-19T21:36:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BooBoo316 \* > \*\*I lost several cheap POS keyboards to spills, before I bought an expensive ergonomic one. Not one spill in over a year. > > So, **Klaatu** , buy yourself some expensive shit and you will be too scared to spill on it. \*\* Unless of course you’re buying sunglasses. In which case there is a direct correlation between the price and the speed in which you either crush them, or lose them. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-fucking-moron/72908.md?page=2)