# I am going to be rich beyond my wildest dreams! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 20, 2011, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246 "2011-10-20T13:46:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246/1 "2011-10-20T13:46:57Z")
The INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE DEPT, WEST AFRICAN PAYMENT DIVISION, FRAUD VICTIMS / COMPENSATION says that I have unclaimed funds in the amount of 1.5 BILLION dollars. That’s right, not million, **BILLION**! The release charge on the funds is only $255 USD. But I’ve got to hurry, some jerk is claiming to be me and trying to get the money released in his name. I had no idea I even had this money until a department directory e-mailed me. Wish me luck! ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246/2 "2011-10-20T13:51:27Z")
I don’t know, my dreams are pretty wild. Let us know how it works out for you. ---
**Author:** ![may\_be\_ignorant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c5a1d2/32.png) [@may\_be\_ignorant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/may_be_ignorant)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246/3 "2011-10-20T13:53:40Z")
Make sure you send them your ssn/birth certificate too, just to clear things up. That should take care of that asshole imposter. ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246/4 "2011-10-20T14:16:56Z")
And once you’re rich, don’t forget who your real friends are.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246/5 "2011-10-20T14:39:31Z")
Arnold, I’d like to show you a “life-skills” book that you might find useful. It’s called [The Con](http://www.amazon.com/Scams-Youre-Vulnerable-Protect-Yourself/dp/1442207310/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1319121420&sr=1-1) and it’s an entertaining and informative volume about how scams work. I hope you will enjoy the stories and tips. 😃 Actually I just think it’s a great book and if I was in charge, everyone 14+ would read it. So this is my chance to plug it. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246/6 "2011-10-20T15:43:08Z")
Don’t I know you from somewhere? The guy who wants to send me $30,000,000 is a piker by comparison. ---
**Author:** ![code\_grey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@code\_grey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/code_grey)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246/7 "2011-10-20T16:08:23Z")
looks like not all black people are as “street smart” and good at hustle math as the media would like us believe. At least, not in rural West Africa. On a related note, “Street-smart teen found dead in a library” [http://www.theonion.com/audio/streetsmart-teen-found-dead-in-library,18226/](http://www.theonion.com/audio/streetsmart-teen-found-dead-in-library,18226/) . Clearly, lacking book-smarts sucks in this day and age. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246/8 "2011-10-20T16:17:59Z")
Wait - are you sure they are American dollars? I mean, 1.5 Billiion Nigerian dollars may be worth about $7.43 American all together. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246/9 "2011-10-20T17:34:41Z")
> [@Arnold\_Winkelried](#): > > But I’ve got to hurry, some jerk is claiming to be me and trying to get the money released in his name. In my defense they told me that claiming other people’s money was standard procedure as long as I paid a modest name substitution filing fee. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246/10 "2011-10-20T18:58:44Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > Wait - are you sure they are American dollars? I mean, 1.5 Billiion Nigerian dollars may be worth about $7.43 American all together. The Nigerian currency isn’t dollars, it’s the naira (sign: ₦; code: NGN), subdivided into 100 kobo. On the other hand, the e-mail always included the letters USD (sign for the US dollar) next to dollar amounts, _except_ next to the 1.5 billion dollar amount. Maybe it is some devalued currency? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246/11 "2011-10-20T19:02:26Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > In my defense they told me that claiming other people’s money was standard procedure as long as I paid a modest name substitution filing fee. Don’t you even _think_ of trying to put your hands on my money! I promise that when the 1.5 billion dollars is deposited in my account, I will buy every SDMB poster in this thread a brand-spanking new [Chia pet](http://www.chia.com/index.php/chia-products), design of your choice. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246/12 "2011-10-20T19:03:26Z")
Zimbabwean dollars, probably. Heck, I can let have [100 Trillion Dollars](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3e/Zimbabwe_$100_trillion_2009_Obverse.jpg) if you’ll send me a SASE. Plus a modest handling fee, of course. The aforementioned $255 USD will suffice. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246/13 "2011-10-20T19:16:57Z")
> [@dangermom](#): > > Arnold, I’d like to show you a “life-skills” book that you might find useful. It’s called [The Con](http://www.amazon.com/Scams-Youre-Vulnerable-Protect-Yourself/dp/1442207310/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1319121420&sr=1-1) and it’s an entertaining and informative volume about how scams work. I hope you will enjoy the stories and tips. > 😃 Actually I just think it’s a great book and if I was in charge, everyone 14+ would read it. So this is my chance to plug it. I think I will get that book, it seems very interesting! Thanks for the recommendation. > [@silenus](#): > > Zimbabwean dollars, probably. Heck, I can let have [100 Trillion Dollars](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3e/Zimbabwe_$100_trillion_2009_Obverse.jpg) if you’ll send me a SASE. Plus a modest handling fee, of course. The aforementioned $255 USD will suffice. OK, how cool is that! I wouldn’t mind having one of those bills framed on my wall. ---
**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246/14 "2011-10-20T19:22:06Z")
When you get the money, could you help out a friend who just emailed me about being stuck in Edinburgh with no money? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246/15 "2011-10-20T19:28:38Z")
> [@Arnold\_Winkelried](#): > > Don’t you even _think_ of trying to put your hands on my money! Good news. I contacted them about this problem and they say we can each have the $1.5 billion. All we need to do is send them a duplicate claim processing charge. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246/16 "2011-10-21T00:15:29Z")
1.5 billion? wow, judging if you combine that with the offers of making your penis an inch longer for 30 bucks, your penis can be 50,000,000 inches long. ---
**Author:** ![davey77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90ced4/32.png) [@davey77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davey77)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246/17 "2011-10-21T05:54:49Z")
1 point 5 BILLION dollars??? Shoot, that used to be a lot of money… ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246/18 "2011-10-21T10:18:02Z")
> [@Arnold\_Winkelried](#): > > I promise that when the 1.5 billion dollars is deposited in my account, I will buy every SDMB poster in this thread a brand-spanking new [Chia pet](http://www.chia.com/index.php/chia-products), design of your choice. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but \*please \*take me off your Chia list. KTHXBAI! ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246/19 "2011-10-21T11:10:05Z")
Using simple maths, I can prove that you would be playing the odds to take up this offer, and should do so at your earliest opportunity. There are at least 1,500 billionaires in the world, so there is a one in four million chance the person contacting you has access to this kind of money. Your stake is a mere $255 for a possible return of $1.5 billion, that’s a return of over 58,000%. Factoring in the odds, on average you can expect a return of 1.47 times your stake. This is much more favourable than other forms of gmabling such as horse racing or a lottery! In fact, the odds are probably even better than this, as there must be lots of people who work for governments or rich people who could access their funds on their behalf, but I erred on the side of caution. Sending money to an anyonymous person on the internet might seem like a long-shot, but remember, when talking about these huge sums of money it only needs to pay out once to be worthwhile! ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246/20 "2011-10-21T11:12:06Z")
I know exactly what to do! Let us, the Teeming Millions of the Doper Crowd, each invest $1 towards helping you pay that up-front $255 fee. Then we can all share in the proportionate division of your jackpot! 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-be-rich-beyond-my-wildest-dreams/600246.md?page=2)