# I am going to go strangle some children. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 29, 2006, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666 "2006-06-29T20:08:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666/41 "2006-06-30T21:51:37Z")
Oh, God, **Miller** , you just reminded me of terrible neighbours back in the PMQs in Germany… These people lived across the hall from us, on the 2nd floor (of 4) of the apartment building. There was a parking lot in front of the building, and then a large green with a park in the middle (buildings kind of surrounded the park). They were a fairly strict family, and I think the father must have been abusive, at least verbally, because we were scared of him before we even met him thanks to his wife! Her daughters would be out in the park or running around the green, and suddenly you’d hear, from through the apartment window: “JEEENNNNNNIIIIFFFFFEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR! KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARREEEEN!! Get your asses inside NOW before your DAD COMES HOME and GETS THEM IN HERE FOR YOU! It’s SUPPER TIME!” or various renditions on that general theme. This woman would never come outside to get her kids, they were always called in like cattle. The kids would also talk to her though the window “MOOOOMMMMM!! Can we get ICE-CREAM?” “NO! Your DAD told you NO MORE ICE CREAM!” Urrrgghh My sister and I tried calling to my mom through the window exactly once. She didn’t answer, but a moment later, appeared downstairs at the front door and said in no uncertain terms that if we ever tried talking to her through the windows again, we’d be in serious trouble. It’s rude, to her, but also to the neighbours. Just because they did it didn’t make it right. I was glad when those neighbours repatriated! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666/42 "2006-06-30T22:02:07Z")
It occurs to me that I was an only child, and also transplanted to a totally foreign country at an age old enough to understand the differences and be completely baffled (4) so I was probably leaning towards kinda quiet anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666/43 "2006-06-30T22:45:43Z")
So, how freaky could you act poolside to get the parents to take them away _without_ getting the police sent over to see if you’re on the sex offender list? Stare maniacally at the little dears while licking your fingers? Mutter “Pretty! They’re all so Pretty!”? Make Stranger Danger \*work \* for you! [JakeBlues] “How much for theee leeetle geeerl?”[/jb] ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666/44 "2006-07-01T01:06:36Z")
[QUOTE=Maureen] My son delights in sitting next to his sister, his finger an inch away from her arm, saying “I’m not touching you. I’m not touching you. I’m not touching you.” [/QUOTE] Heh, I still do this. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666/45 "2006-07-01T01:17:13Z")
Annoying children should be solved with the methods I’ve drawn out for dealing with squirrels. Step 1: Trebuchet. Step 2: Pull Handle. Step 3:??? Step 4: Flung into the next county. Step 5: See my thread on having more sex. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666/46 "2006-07-01T02:34:19Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] Annoying children should be solved with the methods I’ve drawn out for dealing with squirrels. Step 1: Trebuchet. Step 2: Pull Handle. Step 3:??? Step 4: Flung into the next county. Step 5: See my thread on having more sex. [/QUOTE] Yeah, but this time wear a condom, willya? Trebuchets don’t just grow on trees you know… What? ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666/47 "2006-07-01T02:36:52Z")
[QUOTE=SmartAleq] Yeah, but this time wear a condom, willya? Trebuchets don’t just grow on trees you know… What? [/QUOTE] Darling, exactly what handle of mine do you think you’re going to wrap your hands around and pull? ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666/48 "2006-07-01T02:39:14Z")
“I’ll show him something he’s never seen before. The other end.” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666/49 "2006-07-01T02:40:56Z")
[QUOTE=Maureen] “I’ll show him something he’s never seen before. The other end.” 😛 [/QUOTE] I want this statement to apply to me. I fear it doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666/50 "2006-07-01T02:45:59Z")
It applied quite specifically to my stepdaughter’s boyfriend, and was the slight overreaction on behalf of my (now ex) husband when we came home one night and found the two of them necking. I told him to calm down, he didn’t even have anything pulled out. At which point he made the above exclamation. **LOUNE** , it occurs that what you really need is a good spankin. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666/51 "2006-07-01T02:47:35Z")
Oh–this happened to me this past weekend! I was out in the waaaay back (we own just under an acre) and was clearing some scrub. The entire afternoon–3+ hours I was out there–there was this little girl, shrieking. Every 10 seconds. I was amazed that she didn’t get hoarse. It was most aggravating–I even yelled shut up, once, but no one heard me. I haven’t heard her that perform for that long again, but I sure am glad I’m working this weekend… I was taught NOT to shriek as a lil girl, as were all my sisters–and I never let my daughter do so. Scream if you are bleeding or dying-there is no other reason for it. I tend to look askance at parents who allow their kids to act like this. Marco Polo is alot of fun and all, but have a lil consideration for others… ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666/52 "2006-07-01T02:48:46Z")
Yep, someone’s really rockin’ the one track sewer today fershure! Don’t spank him, though, I fear will only exacerbate the problem… Yes, I said “exacerbate,” wanna make something of it? Huh? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666/53 "2006-07-01T02:52:10Z")
[QUOTE=Maureen] It applied quite specifically to my stepdaughter’s boyfriend, and was the slight overreaction on behalf of my (now ex) husband when we came home one night and found the two of them necking. I told him to calm down, he didn’t even have anything pulled out. At which point he made the above exclamation. **LOUNE** , it occurs that what you really need is a good spankin. [/QUOTE] Apparently, what you need is to see the golden halo hovering delicately over my face. Pair that with my innocent looking face. How can you spank something like that? Um…did you get your number yet? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666/54 "2006-07-01T02:54:40Z")
[QUOTE=SmartAleq] Yep, someone’s really rockin’ the one track sewer today fershure! Don’t spank him, though, I fear will only exacerbate the problem… Yes, I said “exacerbate,” wanna make something of it? Huh? 😛 [/QUOTE] I’m solution oriented. Obviously, the solution is to be taken care of as soon as your number is called, dah-ling. can someone adjust my halo for me please? ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666/55 "2006-07-01T02:58:19Z")
I don’t take numbers, dear. Or wait. Or teach. And I have been known to induce heart attacks. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666/56 "2006-07-01T03:02:37Z")
[QUOTE=Maureen] I don’t take numbers, dear. Or wait. Or teach. And I have been known to induce heart attacks. 😉 [/QUOTE] Fine fine fine. Let’s bump you to the front of the line and have you get your shots. …your hot meat injection. It’s a series of many injections, the amount and duration varying greatly. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666/57 "2006-07-01T04:48:17Z")
I hope you’re not _always_ in this much of a hurry. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666/58 "2006-07-01T09:36:26Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > There used to be a little girl who lived across the street from me, name of Ehlana. She actually wasn’t so bad. It was her idiot, loud-mouthed bellowing dad that bugged me. I’ll always remember being awakened one early Saturday morning by: Errrr…did her dad have a German accent, by any chance? (Nothing to do with **mmnemosyne** ’s post. Seriously, did he?) ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666/59 "2006-07-02T19:51:58Z")
They’re doing it again!! Right now. And I assume, all “weekend” till the 4th. I appriciate the ideas about throwing in a toaster and such…probably much more efficient. But at this point I’d prefer the on-hands approch. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666/60 "2006-07-02T20:29:09Z")
Oh, man, holiday weekends are the worse for hours of non-stop aggravation. My folks’ next-door neighbor kids used to spend entire weekends zooming up and down the drive on their go-kart thingys. (The houses are separated by a dirt lane, so they were right outside the garage.) Argh, I hated those go-karts so much! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-going-to-go-strangle-some-children/362666.md?page=4)