# I am gonna buy a deserted island and set up a new society...who is with me? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 24, 2000, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186 "2000-10-24T23:39:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Palm\_Cove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@Palm\_Cove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palm_Cove)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2000, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186/141 "2000-10-26T23:03:49Z")
Meteorolgy report: Looks out of windows Weather’s perfect again folks! ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2000, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186/142 "2000-10-26T23:46:19Z")
Ok guys, anything recreational that calls for one-on-one contact has to come through the Recreation Department. We charge for that by the person. Gotta keep the cash flow going for the island some how. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186/143 "2000-10-27T00:33:20Z")
Well Ultress I think I deserve an exemption, after all it’s my job, I’ll give you a sample, if you know what I mean 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186/144 "2000-10-27T01:17:03Z")
As Recreation Director of course Odie, it’s my job to sample all the games and sports on the island before the rest of the group is subjected to them. My hut in ten minutes. Due to my call of duty, the rest of the islanders will have to hold off on all recreational and sports activities for the next several days. I’ll be in touch as soon as Odie is finished with his demonstration. Better make that a week. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186/145 "2000-10-27T01:36:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Angkins \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by beagledave \* > > \*\* > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > \*Originally posted by Delta-9 \* > > > \*\*[Line forms to the right. \*\* > > > > handcuffs? check > > disco ball? check > > freaky 70s porn music soundtrack? check > > tropical fruit body lotion? check > > jug of homebrew? check > > O.K. fellas, how long is the weight in this line? \*\* > > Holy cow!!! A line up! I’m putting in for overtime! > > I _LOVE_ my job! 😉 \*\* I originally wanted to apply for the postion of Minister of seafood aquisition and oyster procurement. I figure we could make pearl necklaces or something. But Hell, now I want to apply for the position(s) of Angkins assistant. (I refuse to say anything further about pearl necklaces :p) ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186/146 "2000-10-27T02:01:10Z")
Hey, I can block off a small piece of the lagoon, take some heating elements, jets, pumps, etc. and make a hot tub with a natural look. Been spending a bit of _ahem_ time in one lately… ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186/147 "2000-10-27T02:04:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > \*\* > But Hell, now I want to apply for the position(s) of Angkins assistant. (I refuse to say anything further about pearl necklaces :p) \*\* interviews are being conducted over here… 😉 …now what did you say your talents were? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186/148 "2000-10-27T02:07:45Z")
I didn’t. What would you \* like \* them to be :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186/149 "2000-10-27T04:17:36Z")
I just read the subject line for this thread . . . **kellibelli** , do you think maybe there’s a REASON this island is deserted? ---
**Author:** ![messiah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3e96dc/32.png) [@messiah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/messiah)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186/150 "2000-10-27T05:48:30Z")
With the populace growing at this rate, we better create an Olympic committee; I nominate myself as ‘Top Dog’, unless ultress thinks this comes under her jurisdiction, in which case I take ‘Dog Below Top Dog’. Aim in 2004: 0 Gold 0 Silver 1 Bronze Swimming: Breaststroke (easiest), distance: (approx circumference of island) ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186/151 "2000-10-27T12:37:29Z")
He can be my Chief Assistant Primate. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2000, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186/152 "2000-10-28T05:25:46Z")
**Kelli?** If it’s all right with you, could I be minister of snorkeling and drinks made with lime juice? Oh, and ambassador to Jimmy Buffet? I think I’ll just go consult with Dire Wolf about that pig. \ ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2000, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186/153 "2000-10-28T07:04:44Z")
I want to be Official Cat-herder. I suppose I should also herd drunken/stoned/groggy from sexual overload/overly relaxed/(etc.) dopers. Looks like we’re going to need that. ---
**Author:** ![Angkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Angkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angkins)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2000, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186/154 "2000-10-29T03:03:57Z")
Mermaid, I hope you realize this position requires long and hard hours. You may _never_ slack off or you will be tossed from the hut. The pay sucks… but so does the job 😉 literally!! BeagleDave can show you the ropes…but please remember to leave tham attached to the bedposts. Welcome aboad… and watch out for Odieman. I think he has found where I have been storing the Viagra…that man is tireless! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186/155 "2000-10-30T14:04:04Z")
bump for monday morning ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186/156 "2000-10-30T18:51:07Z")
Mermaid reporting for duty with one _little_ request. I’ll need either one full time or several part-time slaves who will keep me misted with sea-water to prevent my scales from drying out, and also to fulfill whatever personal needs I may have including, but not limited to, grape-feeding, full body cocoa butter massages, and to allow me to practice any new sexual techniques on before offering them to the general public. Said slave(s) would have to endure hours of kissing, licking, sucking and stroking as I am a perfectionist in this area. Slave(s) would also be responsible for providing coconut shells large enough to make a bra to contain my ample bosum ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186/157 "2000-10-30T18:56:28Z")
Mermaid reporting for duty with just a _few_requests. I’ll need either one full time or several part-time slaves who will keep me misted with sea-water to prevent my scales from drying out, and also to fulfill whatever personal needs I may have including, but not limited to, grape-feeding, full body cocoa butter massages, and to allow me to practice any new sexual techniques on before offering them to the general public. Said slave would have to endure hours of kissing, licking, sucking and stroking as I am a perfectionist in this area. ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2000, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186/158 "2000-10-31T01:02:43Z")
Mmmmmmmmm. Sounds so nice you had to post it twice! I happen to have a mister full of sea water right here. I’ve been using it to keep the BBQ flames in check. (I swear, Mermaid, I never cooked any fish.) :: shpritz shpritz :: How’s that? I mixed in some palm oil to act as a humectant. The better to keep your scales moist and shimmery, my dear. I would be happy to offer my body for experimentation. In the name of island science, of course. 😉 \*\*\* now where’s that cocoa butter? \*\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2000, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186/159 "2000-10-31T01:05:03Z")
As the official concubine I have to …sample your wares to make sure they are suitable for the other people on the island, Mermaid. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2000, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186/160 "2000-10-31T01:09:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > \*\* > > Slave(s) would also be responsible for providing coconut shells large enough to make a bra to contain my ample bosum > \*\* You know “ample” is such a vague and ill defined concept…as vice regent I feel it my professional duty to quantify that term a bit more precisely…step into my hut please? 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gonna-buy-a-deserted-island-and-set-up-a-new-society-who-is-with-me/38186.md?page=9)