# I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 3, 2012, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648 "2012-02-03T14:11:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2012, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648/1 "2012-02-03T14:11:33Z")
If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon; you will be a minister of death, praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian _shit_! Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are _all_ equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2012, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648/2 "2012-02-03T14:23:51Z")
Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who’s the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing! I will PT you all until you fucking die! I’ll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk! ---
**Author:** ![SunSandSuffering](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@SunSandSuffering](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SunSandSuffering)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2012, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648/3 "2012-02-03T14:35:18Z")
I will gouge out your eyeballs AND SKULL FUCK YOU. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2012, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648/4 "2012-02-03T14:35:56Z")
You climb obstacles like old people fuck, you know that Private Pyle! Get up here - you’re too slow! Move it move it! Private Pyle, whatever you do, don’t fall down - that would break my fucking heart! Quickly, up and over - up and over! Well what in the fuck are you waiting for Private Pyle! Get up and over! Move it move it move it! Are you quitting on me? Well are you?! Then QUIT you slimy fucking walrus looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! Now! Move it! I’m gonna rip your balls off so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you Private Pyle if it short dicks every cannibal on the Congo! short dicks every cannibal in the Congo. I have no idea what it means, but it’s my favorite line of the whole movie. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2012, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648/5 "2012-02-03T14:36:58Z")
Someone’s been digging through their Kubrick collection, I see. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2012, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648/6 "2012-02-03T14:42:14Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > Someone’s been digging through their Kubrick collection, I see. No, sometimes I just hear Gunnery Sergeant Hartman yelling in my head from time to time. Maybe I should talk to someone about that… ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2012, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648/7 "2012-02-03T14:46:20Z")
For those for whom the printed word doesn’t quite capture the mood, I suggest a roam through the nearby clips at [Full Metal Jacket- Opening Scene](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2m_1hglRkPk&feature=related) ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2012, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648/8 "2012-02-03T14:46:46Z")
I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I’ll be watching you. ---
**Author:** ![SunSandSuffering](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@SunSandSuffering](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SunSandSuffering)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2012, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648/9 "2012-02-03T14:49:52Z")
…today… **IS CHRISTMAS** Cracks me up the way he yells that. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648/10 "2012-02-03T14:53:45Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > You climb obstacles like old people fuck, you know that Private Pyle! Get up here - you’re too slow! Move it move it! Private Pyle, whatever you do, don’t fall down - that would break my fucking heart! Quickly, up and over - up and over! Well what in the fuck are you waiting for Private Pyle! Get up and over! Move it move it move it! > > Are you quitting on me? Well are you?! Then QUIT you slimy fucking walrus looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! Now! Move it! I’m gonna rip your balls off so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you Private Pyle if it short dicks every cannibal on the Congo! > > short dicks every cannibal in the Congo. I have no idea what it means, but it’s my favorite line of the whole movie. The fucking war will be over by the we get up there, won’t it Private Pyle? * * * Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me? What have we got here, a fucking comedian, Private Joker. I admire your honestly; hell, I like you-you can come over to my house and fuck my sister! \ You little scumbag! I’ve got your name! I’ve got your ASS! You will not laugh, you will not cry, you will learn by the numbers, I will teach you! Now get up, get on your feet! You had best unfuck yourself, or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck! ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2012, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648/11 "2012-02-03T15:05:52Z")
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman is my idol. I try to model my teaching techniques on his every day in the classroom. 😃 \*What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn’t Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child? \* I use this quote as an alert sound on my computer sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2012, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648/12 "2012-02-03T15:15:39Z")
You love the Middle Ages, don’t you?!! The concept of a geocentric universe gets you sexually excited, doesn’t it? You want to make 16th century mathematician Johannes Kepler your bitch, don’t you?!! ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2012, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648/13 "2012-02-03T15:34:10Z")
Now, let me see your war face. ---
**Author:** ![SunSandSuffering](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@SunSandSuffering](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SunSandSuffering)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2012, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648/14 "2012-02-03T15:35:47Z")
> [@shiftless](#): > > Now, let me see your war face. Bullshit, you didn’t scare me - work on it. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2012, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648/15 "2012-02-03T15:36:11Z")
Do I make you nervous? . . . Sir, WHAT? WERE YOU ABOUT TO CALL ME AN ASSHOLE?! ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2012, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648/16 "2012-02-03T16:53:29Z")
Do any of you people know who Charles Whitman was? _silence_ None of you dumb asses knows… ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2012, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648/17 "2012-02-03T17:02:42Z")
Sir! He shot Kennedy from that Book Suppository Building, Sir! ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_the\_Turtle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_the_turtle/32/2926_2.png) [@Fear\_the\_Turtle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_the_Turtle)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2012, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648/18 "2012-02-03T17:06:16Z")
What is this Mickey Mouse shit? What in the name of Jesus H. Christ are YOU animals doing… IN MY HEAD?! Why is Private Pyle outta his bunk after lights out?! Why is Private Pyle holding that weapon?! Why aren’t YOU stomping Private Pyle’s guts out!? ---
**Author:** ![Archeonomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7cd45c/32.png) [@Archeonomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archeonomist)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2012, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648/19 "2012-02-03T17:14:42Z")
Did your parents have any children that lived? I bet they regret that! You’re so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece! - if it hadn’t been for R. Lee Ermeys performance, this movie would have been almost forgotten by now… ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2012, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648/20 "2012-02-03T17:18:28Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > No, sometimes I just hear Gunnery Sergeant Hartman yelling in my head from time to time. Maybe I should talk to someone about that… I know a [good therapist.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfmVBmDKLZI) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-gunnery-sergeant-hartman-your-senior-drill-instructor/611648.md?page=2)