# I am in despair **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 6, 2002, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521 "2002-11-06T07:53:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2002, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521/61 "2002-11-06T20:06:29Z")
By the way, Sam, we don’t mind if you eat babies, as long as they’re properly cooked. And remember, it’s not polite to smack your lips. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2002, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521/62 "2002-11-06T20:10:05Z")
Constituent’s life vs a dollar constituent’s life vs a dollar… Oooh, this is so tough! ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2002, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521/63 "2002-11-06T20:44:13Z")
Sweet Suffering Lord. Is this still going on? **lieu** , please see my previous post in re: Lyndon Johnson. Can at least a few of you hysterical neo-hippies stop, think, and wrap your minds around the fact that _nothing has really changed_? Do any of you realize that the Republicans would need 67 seats to reach cloture? Blah, blah, blah… Judicial Confirmations, blah blah blah… repeal of Roe v. Wade (never going to happen, BTW)… blah, blah, blah, repeal of the Brady Law… blah, blah, blah… Do you really think that the Republicans and Democrats are really all that far apart? Do you really think that Northeastern Republicans are to the right of Southern Democrats? Do you? Do you think that the Democrats in the Senate have completely forgotten about the Magic of the Fillibuster? I am truly amazed at all this hysteria. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2002, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521/64 "2002-11-06T20:49:26Z")
The only thing over-the-top, hysterical, the-sky-is-falling posts like the OP do for me, is make me wonder about the stability and rationality of some democrats. In STOID’s world, today’s headline should have read: REPUBLICANS WIN ELECTION; EARTH CRASHES INTO SUN ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2002, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521/65 "2002-11-06T21:00:13Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally deposited by_ **Scylla:**   That alone makes him lower than whaleshit. Sorry Scylla, but whaleshit floats: > [@](#): > > I’ve observed vast floating mats of blue whale feces offshore of > southern California. It smelled fishy but not stinky, and was bright red – > suggestive of the idea that the blue whales were subsurface feeding on huge > numbers of pelagic tuna crabs… -[Mysteries of the briny deep](http://whale.wheelock.edu/archives/ask99/0421.html) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2002, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521/66 "2002-11-06T21:34:36Z")
The OP is like an Onion article. Actually, TWO Onion articles. Just take this date below, change it to “1992,” reverse all the Republican and Democratic references, and it describes how GOP folks reacted then. November 6, 2002 Republicans Win For First Time Ever, Unleash Hounds of Hell WASHINGTON (AP) - For the first time in American history, Republicans have won control of the legislative branch of the U.S. government, opening the Seventh Seal and unleashing Apocalypse upon the world. Early poll reports indicated that Republicans would control both Congress and the Senate, a situation that has never ever happened before in the history of the United States. This unprecedented and horrifying event was expected to result in the end of human civilization. By Wednesday morning, the impending Armageddon was already making itself evident, as every volcano in the world had exloded, the oceans had boiled away, and a plague of locusts ate all the food in the world. Senator Trent Lott, Hellspawn cacodaemon and Republican majority leader, whose party is in league with Satan, announced Wednesday that the federal government would immediately begin executing every single human being in the world. “Our Lord Satan wants blood, and blood he shall have,” said Lott, gnawing on the severed leg of a Democratic child. “We shall destroy everything and kill everyone. The sacrifice of the innocent is needed to satiate the hideous spawn of Hell we Republicans gladly serve.” Added Lott, “And we’ll cut taxes, too, ah ha ha ha haaaa!” Democrat supporters were reasoned, balanced, and calm in their response to the Tuesday defeats. “All is lost,” said California Democrat S. Toidela. “The world will explode and the human race will be vaporized. The universe itself will cease to be now that Republicans have won midterm elections.” According to political historians, Republicans have never ever ever won Congressional majorities before, so there is no precedent for these odious incubis’ rise to power. Prior to 2002, Democrats had always controlled the halls of power, and had governed America with near-perfect wisdom. Whereas Republicans can be expected to unleash nuclear holocaust, ecological ruin, and jackbooted tyranny, sources report that 226 years of Democratic rule had yielded nothing but perfection, when America was a veritable Garden of Eden free of war, racial bigotry, crime, and poverty. Democrats tell children tales of St. William of Clinton, who ruled as Democratic President for all 226 years, guiding America with his infinite wisdom and healing the sick with his very gaze. Asked about rumours of previous Republican administrations and Congressional majorities, historian Stephen Ambrose replied that “No such thing has ever existed. They have never won election before. We are all doomed. Or that’s what I read someone else write.” President Bush, a Republican arch-demon, agreed with the shrieking, terrified masses. “All will burn! Burn! Burn! Ha haaaa! You misunderestimated me, and now you shall burn!” ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2002, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521/67 "2002-11-06T22:40:59Z")
See? Toldja! ---
**Author:** ![ScoobyTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@ScoobyTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ScoobyTX)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2002, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521/68 "2002-11-06T23:26:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Exgineer \* > **Do any of you realize that the Republicans would need 67 seats to reach cloture?** Actually, it’s 60, but the Rs don’t have 60 votes if things are going to always come down to straight party line votes. 67 votes are what it takes to override a veto, which probably won’t ever come up in the next two years. > [@](#): > > Do you think that the Democrats in the Senate have completely forgotten about the Magic of the Fillibuster?\*\* Filibusters can be useful, but overuse of them will get the Dems in even more trouble in the future if they are seen as nothing but obstructionists. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521/69 "2002-11-07T00:05:59Z")
That’s a great self-affirmation you got there, STOID: “I know if I post something hysterical to the point of irrationality, people will post to point out I’m being hysterical and irrational.” “You’re being hysterical and irrational.” “See! Toldja!” If you limit yourself to predicting criticism, you can bask in your correctness without the messy discomfort of having to ask whether it was deserved. ---
**Author:** ![lucwarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@lucwarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lucwarm)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521/70 "2002-11-07T00:55:58Z")
Slight hijack, but I wish the Dems would give up their stupid support for gun control. It’s one of the few social policies with absolutely no redeeming qualities. i.e. it doesn’t do any good at all. And it’s a big part of the reason the Dems lost control of the legislature in 1994. Oh well, maybe the 1994 gun control law will expire in peace now. ---
**Author:** ![Wabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wabbit)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521/71 "2002-11-07T01:04:20Z")
Listen people, have some freakin faith in your fellow citizens. This republic has weathered many crisis’ (although I have serious doubts that calling an election where one political party edges out another a ‘crisis’) much worse than this one. We’ve survived getting our tails kicked repeatedly by the Brits for the first few decades of nationhood, we’ve survived having the White House burned to the ground, we’ve survived a President essentially ignoring the Supreme Court, we’ve survived 2 vicious World Wars and a Civil War, we’ve survived the Cold War and all the abuses of our civil liberties that that entailed, we’ve survived so many 'Gates that I’ve lost track of them all, we’ve survived impeaching our President at the same time we’re attacking another country (Clinton and Serbia): in short, we’re gonna survive. Anyone who thinks otherwise obviously doesn’t have as much faith in the American people as I do. So here’s the suggestions of a committed Moderate: 1. Quit whining; 2. Quit engaging on overblown rhetoric unless you’re doing it for it’s comedic value or you like sounding like a hand-waving moron; 3. If your party lost the last election, start organizing and preparing for the next election–if your party won, do likewise; 4. Quit whining. I’ll accept your thanks for this slap-upside-the-head in advance. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521/72 "2002-11-07T02:10:47Z")
Ahh nothing like some partisan whining. Join the [pity party](http://angrydems.com/). ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521/73 "2002-11-07T04:03:35Z")
As posted elsewhere: For it is written that whatsoever shall go around, therefore shall it come around. For, verily, today’s pig is tomorrow’s bacon. Hell, it ain’t democracy if you don’t lose sometime! I’m not a liberal, I’m a radical, I want to fight like Hell with the right wing and have the decisions come out in the middle, and slowly, prudently, _move that middle_! All the really important progress takes a full generation to accomplish, otherwise its too flimsy. We will _never_ see segregation again, and I remember it. The era of the back alley abortionist is gone, and I remember that too. If I had told my kinfolks that the day would come when MLK would have a holiday of his own, they would have wondered what I had been smoking. (Well, they would have been right, but still…) **Natasha** my bobolink, this ain’t Waterloo, it ain’t even Valley Forge. They won one. Big fuckin’ deal! You ain’t dead, I ain’t dead, and it ain’t over. ---
**Author:** ![Eleusis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521/74 "2002-11-07T04:38:21Z")
I just want to thank **RickJay** for posting the revised Onion article. Hil-fuckin-arious. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521/75 "2002-11-07T04:43:32Z")
Stoid, Diogenes, _please_ get a grip. Continue the way you’re going and you’ll wind up on the fringe like these folks: [http://www.bartcopnation.com/dcforum/DCForumID1/15564.html](http://www.bartcopnation.com/dcforum/DCForumID1/15564.html) [http://www.democraticunderground.com/duforum/DCForumID60/16038.html](http://www.democraticunderground.com/duforum/DCForumID60/16038.html) Claims of superior virtue co-existing with violent fantasies and dehumanizing of the enemy (Bush), advice to associate only with others like themselves, planning to uproot their lives and move to a “safer” place - it sounds like some kind of apocalyptic cult. These people have succeeded in making me both afraid **for** them and afraid **of** them. (For the record, I vote mostly conservative, but I don’t trust any politician of any party completely.) ---
**Author:** ![PhiloVance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e19adc/32.png) [@PhiloVance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PhiloVance)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521/76 "2002-11-07T06:48:45Z")
so, rowrrbazzle, you visit those sites too. 😃 I actually signed up at DU and promptly got my posting privileges revoked after my first post. Stoid and Diogenes sound like right wingers compared to these people. I’ve never seen BartCop before, but have heard about it. They sound even more ‘off the wall’ than the DU’ers. I’m actually a Democrat, but became disgusted with them after LBJ (talk about misguided, that man could have done great things); did however vote for McGovern and Carter. Still a Democrat btw, but mostly vote the person. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521/77 "2002-11-07T13:41:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elucidator \* > \*\*I’m not a liberal, I’m a radical, I want to fight like Hell with the right wing and have the decisions come out in the middle, and slowly, prudently, _move that middle_! \*\* One extreme wing slinging insults at the other extreme is a recipe for voter apathy. “Democrats have to learn how to oppose, how to organize and how to inspire. In this election, they failed at all three.” - _E.J.Dionne_ ---
**Author:** ![In\_Conceivable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@In\_Conceivable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Conceivable)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521/78 "2002-11-07T13:51:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stoid \* > \*\*See? Toldja! \*\* Uggh! Why does any body bother to respond to **Stoid’s** threads when this is the best she can come up with! She posted an inflamatory and slightly insane OP. Rather then actually respond to any of the comments in the thread she started she comes up with “See? Toldja!”. I am not even sure what she told us that she is responding to. WTF? ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521/79 "2002-11-07T14:28:34Z")
What I want to know is: What is so evil about Republicans? If they are really so bad, why does anyone vote for them? Or why are they even allowed to exist? Have they ruined the country before? Are we a socialist country that will be ruined by Republicans? Enquiring minds want to know! ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521/80 "2002-11-07T16:45:00Z")
Um, how many of you actually _track_ what Congress does for a living? I do. One month ago, an anonymous aide to a prominent Republican leader had [this](http://www.rollcall.com/pages/news/00/2002/10/news1007b.html) to say about a Republican lame duck session, which is now quite possible: > [@](#): > > “When we take over the majority, we intend to move so fast to pass bills and confirm judges that have been held up by the Senate Democratic leadership that it will make their heads spin,” said the aide, speaking on the condition of anonymity. The Republicans will now almost certainly attempt to invoke Rule XIV, which will allow bills to bypass committee consideration and go directly to the Senate floor. This of course will also bypass the last place where consensus and compromise can take place in a reasonable manner. Among the bills held up in committee right now is [H.R. 476](http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/bdquery/z?d107:HR00476:@@@L&summ2=m&), an innocuous little bill which prevents underage girls from circumventing parental consent by crossing state lines to get an abortion. It has already been passed by the House, and my sources claim it will be one of the bills rammed through the lame duck Senate, if at all possible. So in less than two months, chances are I will be able to cry bullshit on anyone who claims that there is no difference between the parties. The Republicans, with their first whiff of total control, will begin restricting abortions, something which the Democrats have fought tooth and nail. The reason why such measures have a good chance of passing is because: 1. The Republican Party leadership is controlled by the religious right, and they are intent on passing a social agenda into law. 2. This is a lame duck session, but almost all Republican Senators are returning next Congress. Among the departing Republicans are social conservatives Jesse Helms, Phil Gramm, and Strom Thurmond. 3. Any Republican Senator who doesn’t toe the line on these issues will be threatened with undesireable Committee assignments in the 108th Congress. In other words, “play ball, right now, or we’ll screw you come next year.” The moderate Republican voice ain’t worth jack shit. H.R. 476 is only one of dozens of similar bills intended to change your behavior by incrementally restricting your rights. You “get the gummit outa mah life” types had better take notice: Jesus runs your party now, and he’s feeling _righteous_. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Right now there are _hundreds_ of Republican-crafted special-interest bills just waiting to be passed. The people with the most money will be able to afford the people with the most clout who will ensure their bills–generally designed to make a lot of money for a small group of already wealthy individuals, like the ANWR bill–make it to the Senate floor before this session ends. _You_, average American, aren’t going to get jack shit out of this lame duck session, except a growing list of things you _can’t_ do, and perhaps another token tax cut which will surrepticiously shift the tax burden further onto the shoulders of the middle class. But if you live in primarily Democrat-leaning districts, you will see your proportion of the FY2003 appropriations money severely reduced. However, the money’s not going to go over to you average American Republicans. Instead, we’ll all get to lap up what trickles out of the pendulous corporate American teat. Okay, the above paragraph is just my opinion. In fact, all of this is just an opinion, even if it is one informed by past experience. So let me say just one more thing: If you think that there is no difference between these parties, or that total Republican control will somehow allow things to get done that are good for everyone, you are about to be _stunned._ The cuckoo egg just hatched in the nest amongst you, and that big corporate-Christian chick is _hungry_, and strong enough now to push you straight out of the nest. And you can’t stop them now. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-despair/135521.md?page=5)