# I am in Hillbilly Hell on Election Day. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 31, 2012, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939 "2012-07-31T09:44:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939/1 "2012-07-31T09:44:20Z")
I live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee (not a typo). We have 2 Republicans duking it out for Congresscritter: Diane Black, a Neocon hypocrite; and Lou Ann Zelenik, a raving Tea Party Loon that is either insane enough to believe that a new mosque is a “terrorist training center”, or cynical enough to try & whip up support Hitler style, by inciting unifying hatred. Both turkeys have a cadre of blind, ignorant dupes supporting them. **We have no Democrat willing to challenge them.** ☹ Election Day is coming up. …hooray… ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939/2 "2012-07-31T10:13:51Z")
Is it too late for you to throw your hat into the ring? ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939/3 "2012-07-31T12:25:37Z")
Vote for Pat Buchanon. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939/4 "2012-07-31T12:30:02Z")
Another Brewster’s Millions idea: write in NONE OF THE ABOVE Or, find a kindly gent in a TARDIS and ask for some Jelly Babies. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939/5 "2012-07-31T13:37:21Z")
Hey, at least they let women run for office there! ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939/6 "2012-07-31T13:42:08Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > I live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee (not a typo). > > We have 2 Republicans duking it out for Congresscritter: Diane Black, a Neocon hypocrite; and Lou Ann Zelenik, a raving Tea Party Loon that is either insane enough to believe that a new mosque is a “terrorist training center”, or cynical enough to try & whip up support Hitler style, by inciting unifying hatred. > > Both turkeys have a cadre of blind, ignorant dupes supporting them. > > **We have no Democrat willing to challenge them.** ☹ > > Election Day is coming up. > > …hooray… I find in cases like this, to just vote for the **least** objectionable candidate works fine. Don’t you have a candidate for the Communist/Nazi party or one who is a convicted sex offender available to vote for ? ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939/7 "2012-07-31T14:05:36Z")
I’m getting mighty tired of the political ads here in the Texas panhandle; no one even mentions the word “Democrat”, it’s just a bunch of Republicans trying to out-conservative one another. “Candidate X is a _true_ Texas conservative! He supports shooting anyone who jumps the border, and wants to keep Big Government out of your business! Unless you want an abortion or a gay wedding, then he’s all for government legislating the hell out of it.” ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939/8 "2012-07-31T14:08:36Z")
In related news, I see [a federal court just ordered Rutherford County to allow the Murfeesboro mosque to open](http://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/2012/July/12-crt-883.html). Surprised that hasn’t gotten a thread. ---
**Author:** ![Jas09](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d07c76/32.png) [@Jas09](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jas09)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939/9 "2012-07-31T14:52:53Z")
Which one is better looking? ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939/10 "2012-07-31T15:13:59Z")
> [@Max\_Torque](#): > > I’m getting mighty tired of the political ads here in the Texas panhandle; no one even mentions the word “Democrat”, it’s just a bunch of Republicans trying to out-conservative one another. > > “Candidate X is a _true_ Texas conservative! He supports shooting anyone who jumps the border, and wants to keep Big Government out of your business! Unless you want an abortion or a gay wedding, then he’s all for government legislating the hell out of it.” We’re getting the same ads down here in Houston. Both guys fighting for the Republican nomination to the Senate are slinging as much mud as possible. You’ve got the content just right–except for the bit about repealing Obamacare & saving the Constitution. And there are\* so many\* ads… I’m already missing Kay Bailey Hutchison–who’s always been pretty sane for a Republican. (Yeah, I’ll vote for the Democratic candidate, but I’m not full of hope.) –Sarah Palin raised a ruckus by Tweeting her visit to The Woodlands (planned community north of Houston) Chick-Fil-A; I wondered what brought her there. She was [speaking for Ted Cruz](http://www.texasobserver.org/cover-story/palin-and-cruz-take-the-woodlands), the more Teaparty Republican hopeful. > [@](#): > > Friday night, I was in The Woodlands ™ to see Sarah Palin, the tea party’s hot ex-girlfriend who sometimes calls just to make sure she still can. She had come on a tour bus with a Constitution printed on it (the creation of which must at this point be a booming cottage industry) to support Ted Cruz, who may rob David Dewhurst, the perennial bridesmaid, of the Republican nomination for U.S. Senate… > > She did not disappoint. How could she? All the people wanted was for her to be there in the flesh and pretty and mean, and she was. She had a dark tan and blonde streaks in her hair, which she wore down with a black knit miniskirt and a black V-necked top with pink boots on them. She also sported black cowboy boots that appeared to have a White House seal on them, which she said Rick Perry had given her. She then seemed to stumble into mentioning that Perry had endorsed Dewhurst, and quieted boos from the highly vocal crowd, saying, “We’ll be a team after this is over.” > > It was a revealing moment, because it wasn’t true. Cruz’s ascendancy despite all Dewhurst’s advantages—money, experience and broad establishment support—has exposed the seriousness of the schism in the Republican Party. It’s not just moderates like Maine Sen. Olympia Snowe who are being sidelined, who are not part of the team anymore. If Dewhurst can’t win, then the Republican Party at large does not have control of its base anymore. interesting… ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939/11 "2012-07-31T15:23:15Z")
Yep, not just the Panhandle - the DFW area isn’t immune either. I about fell off the couch the first time I heard that bit about saving/reinstating/whatever the Constitution. Now I just go :mad: and glare at the TV a moment and then resume my business. The perspective we have now, looking back on the Nixon administration? Yeah. I wonder what people will think - and history books will write - about this time, fifty years from now… ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939/12 "2012-07-31T15:26:10Z")
Here in Missouri, the two main Republican Senate candidates are running adds trying to show that their opponent is more like the incumbent, Claire McCaskill. Although rumor has it that one of the PACs running the ad’s is actually a Democratic front, trying to get the stronger R defeated. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939/13 "2012-07-31T15:30:09Z")
> [@Jas09](#): > > Which one is better looking? Lou Ann Zelenik would require less priming of your beer goggles. [![](https://www.realcourage.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/lou-ann-zelenik-photo.jpg) ](https://www.realcourage.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/lou-ann-zelenik-photo.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Ruby\_Slippers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/94ad74/32.png) [@Ruby\_Slippers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby_Slippers)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939/14 "2012-07-31T16:02:25Z")
I live in the 8th District of Ohio, which is wholly owned by John Boehner. He’s unopposed on both sides of the aisle. I’m thinking I just won’t vote for that particular slot on the ballot. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939/15 "2012-07-31T16:55:32Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Lou Ann Zelenik would require less priming of your beer goggles. > > [http://www.realcourage.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/lou-ann-zelenik-photo.jpg](http://www.realcourage.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/lou-ann-zelenik-photo.jpg) Her teeth reminded me of [Rose Marie](http://www.waitiknowthis.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/rose_marie.jpg) from the old _Dick Van Dyke Show_. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939/16 "2012-07-31T16:58:13Z")
> [@Bridget\_Burke](#): > > We’re getting the same ads down here in Houston. Both guys fighting for the Republican nomination to the Senate are slinging as much mud as possible. You’ve got the content just right–except for the bit about repealing Obamacare & saving the Constitution. And there are\* so many\* ads… Oy, Dewhurst. I especially dislike his ad where he pledges to strengthen the border, which is somehow a “Washington failure”, by “tripling the size of the border patrol, and authorizing them to fight back.” What I actually hear is, “I want Texas to start shooting Mexicans”. Oh wait, according to him the border’s being hopped by “people from the Middle East and China,” so it’s not _really_ Mexicans, so you Latino voters can relax, I’ll take care of the boogeyman… ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939/17 "2012-07-31T17:10:37Z")
Sounds like Hillbilly Heaven to me. At least from the perspective of the Hillbilly. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Linctus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939/18 "2012-07-31T17:18:55Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > Is it too late for you to throw your hat into the ring? Precisely OP’s complaint has no merit when this is something it’s very much in his power to solve… ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939/19 "2012-07-31T17:38:55Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Her teeth reminded me of [Rose Marie](http://www.waitiknowthis.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/rose_marie.jpg) from the old _Dick Van Dyke Show_. She still looks like she’s frightened and in a lot of pain. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939/20 "2012-07-31T18:15:26Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > **We have no Democrat willing to challenge them.** ☹ Hurray! 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-hillbilly-hell-on-election-day/629939.md?page=2)