# I am, in theory, cool. But only in theory. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 18, 2015, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475 "2015-07-18T01:56:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/1 "2015-07-18T01:56:25Z")
The harsh truth is I’m a fat, long-haired geek. But if you were to apply my skills, tastes, interests and occupations to a thin 25 year old person who dresses stylishly and has a great haircut, they would be definitively cool. For instance, I have a small business video recording concerts with 8 cameras. I’m really good at it, and have shot hundreds of concerts. Judged objectively, that is a pretty cool thing to do. But, as the Lester Bangs character in Almost Famous told the kid “I’ve met you. You’re not cool.” Are you also theoretically cool? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/2 "2015-07-18T01:58:03Z")
No, I’m not even hypothetically cool. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2015, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/3 "2015-07-19T08:22:57Z")
No one else? ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2015, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/4 "2015-07-19T08:54:43Z")
I suppose I’m theoretically cool. I play a mean guitar, always eat in a steak bar (not really), fly aeroplanes for a living, and ride bicycles for a local racing team. But I’m socially awkward, I prefer my own company to that of others, and tend not to go out unless I have a social obligation to. In short, I’m a hermit and that’s how I like it. Historically I’ve had emotional room for one other person in my life, be that a girlfriend, male friend or whatever. So when I’m single, which I haven’t been for a long time, I become a lot more outgoing and seek the company of others, but when I’m with someone I’m very happy just staying at home and tending the fire. I’m also about 12 kg over weight at present! ---
**Author:** ![Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cabin_fever_1/32/2908_2.png) [@Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabin_Fever_1)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2015, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/5 "2015-07-19T22:33:30Z")
I’m old enough not to worry about being cool. Besides, I have enough Hawaiian shirts to make me _appear_ to be cool, for which I will accept the compliments. It is all about attitude. Or altitude, depending on what they are smoking/drinking. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2015, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/6 "2015-07-19T22:41:21Z")
I am most definitely not cool. I’m a middle-aged white woman who works for state government, doesn’t have artificial nails or eyelashes, and has only has one small, inconspicuous tattoo. I don’t do weird things with my hair, use a tanning bed, play a musical instrument, or follow Games of Thrones. Nope, not cool. And I’m okay with it. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2015, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/7 "2015-07-19T22:43:12Z")
I prefer to associate in circles where what I am does in fact count as “cool”. ---
**Author:** ![Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cabin_fever_1/32/2908_2.png) [@Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabin_Fever_1)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2015, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/8 "2015-07-19T22:45:27Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > The harsh truth is I’m a fat, long-haired geek. > > But if you were to apply my skills, tastes, interests and occupations to a thin 25 year old person who dresses stylishly and has a great haircut, they would be definitively cool. For instance, **I have a small business video recording concerts with 8 cameras. I’m really good at it, and have shot hundreds of concerts.** Judged objectively, that is a pretty cool thing to do. But, as the Lester Bangs character in Almost Famous told the kid “I’ve met you. You’re not cool.” > > Are you also theoretically cool? Bolding your quote. Yes you are cool. I wish I could have a job like that. Music live - concert recorded with 8 cameras, post-production editing, backstage passes. Definitely cool dude. ---
**Author:** ![mind\_the\_gap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@mind\_the\_gap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mind_the_gap)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2015, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/9 "2015-07-20T06:02:27Z")
Cool is not a self defining attribute IMHO. Cool is a term others may use to describe you. The very act of pronouncing oneself cool negates any possible coolness. That being said, posting on the SDMB is an act of cool.🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2015, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/10 "2015-07-20T06:10:43Z")
Funny T-Shirts and able to talk about today’s music, makes this 63 yr old look cool enough. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2015, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/11 "2015-07-20T13:18:53Z")
> [@Cabin\_Fever](#): > > Bolding your quote. Yes you are cool. I wish I could have a job like that. Music live - concert recorded with 8 cameras, post-production editing, backstage passes. > Definitely cool dude. It is a cool thing to do - I love it and I’m good at it. But I assure you, the image that arises in your head has absolutely nothing to do with how I actually look. And, were I to attempt to style myself to fit that image, it would look utterly pathetic. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2015, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/12 "2015-07-20T13:22:07Z")
> [@mind\_the\_gap](#): > > Cool is not a self defining attribute IMHO. Cool is a term others may use to describe you. The very act of pronouncing oneself cool negates any possible coolness. Very true. > [@](#): > > That being said, posting on the SDMB is an act of cool.🆒 Really? I’ve always thought of this place as having _geek cred_ (like a Slashdot user ID number of 5 digits or fewer) but no particular cachet of _cool_. ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2015, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/13 "2015-07-20T14:51:39Z")
> [@mind\_the\_gap](#): > > The very act of pronouncing oneself cool negates any possible coolness. Unless you are the Fonz. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2015, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/14 "2015-07-20T15:53:02Z")
In practice, there usually is. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2015, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/15 "2015-07-20T17:43:21Z")
I’m so uncool, I think _you guys_ are cool. ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2015, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/16 "2015-07-20T18:00:53Z")
I’m not cool. I just freeze solid at 98.6°F. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2015, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/17 "2015-07-20T18:27:41Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I’m so uncool, I think _you guys_ are cool. Now I’m depressed. ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2015, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/18 "2015-07-20T19:29:12Z")
My son’s high school friends thought I was cool, in a cool-dad sort of way, because they’d come over and play the guitars and keyboards in my basement studio, and when I got home I’d often join in. I think that’s the closest I got to being cool, and that was a long time ago now. His friends still think I’m cool, though! Thank goodness that they liked music I was compatible with (alt-rock of the 90’s, pretty compatible with prog and classic rock of the 70’s.) For anyone who feels like their appearance or body language is the main impediment, consider Second Life, where you get to be whatever you can make of yourself. I no longer play SL, but I always liked that aspect of it. Not that I was much good at making myself look cool (can’t do that in real life either; I’m happy to let my wife manage my wardrobe.) ---
**Author:** ![Lowdown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Lowdown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lowdown)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2015, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/19 "2015-07-20T20:25:44Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > The harsh truth is I’m a fat, long-haired geek. > > But if you were to apply my skills, tastes, interests and occupations to a thin 25 year old person who dresses stylishly and has a great haircut, they would be definitively cool. For instance, I have a small business video recording concerts with 8 cameras. I’m really good at it, and have shot hundreds of concerts. Judged objectively, that is a pretty cool thing to do. But, as the Lester Bangs character in Almost Famous told the kid “I’ve met you. You’re not cool.” > > Are you also theoretically cool? I am cool as shit, but let’s talk about that later. You can’t really be cool and talk about how cool you are. That doesn’t work at all. Do you \*want \*to be cool? You know that your skills, tastes, interests, and occupations are cool. You sound cool. That’s most of the way. You appear to know what _is_ cool, so what’s stopping you from getting the rest of the way there? You acknowledge that if you step up your dress and haircut, you’ll attain greater coolness. Soooo, why don’t you do that? You also mention fat. Being fat is not as cool as not being fat, but that’s about it. There are plenty of ripped dudes out there who are very not cool. In fact, being ripped without the right attitude is pretty much douchebag territory. Once, long ago, I was not cool. Now I am. I can assure you that being cool is cooler than not being cool. The problem is you kind of have to get to cool before you grok how not cool not being cool is. I’m here to help, but first you have to decide if you want to be cool or not. (I would decide yes, because it’s cooler.) ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2015, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/20 "2015-07-21T02:32:14Z")
I am, according to my 11 year old great niece after taking her for a ride on my Harley, TEENAGE COOL!!! Sadly that was some ten years ago and evidently my teenage coolness may have faltered a bit in that time. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475.md?page=2)