# I am, in theory, cool. But only in theory. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 18, 2015, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475 "2015-07-18T01:56:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Fubaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@Fubaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fubaya)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2015, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/21 "2015-07-21T03:19:56Z")
Cool is relative. I haven’t read anything in this thread that I consider cool yet, at least at face value. I don’t find recording concerts cool, but having your own business kinda is and if you’re doing what you enjoy and what makes you happy, that’s cool. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2015, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/22 "2015-07-21T03:43:03Z")
I could have started this thread. If I were cooler. ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2015, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/23 "2015-07-21T03:50:44Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > Funny T-Shirts and able to talk about today’s music, makes this 63 yr old look cool enough. No. It really doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2015, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/24 "2015-07-21T19:01:25Z")
A coworker told me I was too cool to not have a smart phone. I think I used to be cool, but no one understands my ironic pop culture statements any more. Or am I cool because of that? ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2015, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/25 "2015-07-21T19:11:27Z")
I have never been cool in theory or in practice. I’m a 42-year-old guy with two small children. I work in IT, doing work that is interesting but not cool by anyone’s estimation. Except for Halloween. I do great decorations and I stand out in front of the house in a costume and ham it up with the kids. One night a year, I am the coolest guy in the neighborhood (in the eyes of the local six-year-olds). ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2015, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/26 "2015-07-21T19:26:41Z")
I don’t think I’ve ever been in danger of being one of the “cool kids,” but I’ve done plenty of cool stuff that most people haven’t (I’m not in the mood to list things now.) I mean, many people would describe me as “a cool guy,” but it’s an inward cool, not a suave, “I don’t usually drink beer, but when I do, it’s Dos Equis” type of cool. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2015, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/27 "2015-07-21T20:41:48Z")
Have you been given/presently own your Charlie Parker Lives sunglasses and listened to Lullaby in Birdland played euphoniously? Perhaps,you may just be cool. ---
**Author:** ![Lowdown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Lowdown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lowdown)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2015, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/28 "2015-07-21T21:01:52Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I don’t think I’ve ever been in danger of being one of the “cool kids,” but I’ve done plenty of cool stuff that most people haven’t (I’m not in the mood to list things now.) I mean, many people would describe me as “a cool guy,” but it’s an inward cool, not a suave, “I don’t usually drink beer, but when I do, it’s Dos Equis” type of cool. Dos Equis is pretty good though. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2015, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/29 "2015-07-21T21:47:18Z")
> [@Lowdown](#): > > Dos Equis is pretty good though. It’s a reasonable summer beer. I prefer Pacifico or Modelo or even Bohemia myself, but Dos Equis will do. The only Mexican beer I’m not so much a fan of is Corona. No, not because it’s the most popular, but because it always tastes skunked to me. Yes, clear or green bottles are more prone to skunking, and Pacifico comes in a clear bottle, but it just doesn’t usually have the skunk to it. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2015, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/30 "2015-07-21T22:36:14Z")
I used to be cool, but then I forgot what cool was, now I don’t care anymore. I know I made a way cool dad. When I suspected my oldest (who’s an adult now) of smoking weed, I never said anything\*. I figured as long as he keeps his grades up and comes home when he is supposed to, I’ll let him have that freedom. There’s that, plus I let my sons grow their hair and wear whatever clothes they wanted to. Piercings were fine but no tattoos until you’re 18. \*Although, to this day, he denies smoking weed or ever smoking weed, (Despite the fact I found a half smoked joint on the couch that fell out of his jacket pocket) I did impart upon him my advice and lessons learned from when I was a pot smoking youth. ---
**Author:** ![Reads\_a\_Lot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a9a28c/32.png) [@Reads\_a\_Lot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reads_a_Lot)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2015, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/31 "2015-07-21T22:43:07Z")
'Sup? ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/32 "2015-07-22T01:16:56Z")
My teenaged kids still talk to me, ask for and eat my food, talk with me about music and guitar, and don’t shy away from introducing me to their friends. I am as cool as I have ever been and as cool as I could ever want to be. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/33 "2015-07-22T03:33:19Z")
> [@Lowdown](#): > > Do you \*want \*to be cool? You know that your skills, tastes, interests, and occupations are cool. You sound cool. That’s most of the way. You appear to know what _is_ cool, so what’s stopping you from getting the rest of the way there? To be fair, I don’t know that my skills, tastes, interests and occupations are _objectively_ cool on whatever chart that lists all the cool things. I do know that my friends (who are indeed cool) seem to find them cool. > [@](#): > > You acknowledge that if you step up your dress and haircut, you’ll attain greater coolness. Soooo, why don’t you do that? You also mention fat. Being fat is not as cool as not being fat, but that’s about it. There are plenty of ripped dudes out there who are very not cool. In fact, being ripped without the right attitude is pretty much douchebag territory. That’s the thing - visible signs of coolness are the ones I value the least, and that I view with suspicion. > [@](#): > > Once, long ago, I was not cool. Now I am. I can assure you that being cool is cooler than not being cool. The problem is you kind of have to get to cool before you grok how not cool not being cool is. I’m here to help, but first you have to decide if you want to be cool or not. (I would decide yes, because it’s cooler.) That’s cool. For you, I mean. ---
**Author:** ![Lowdown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Lowdown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lowdown)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/34 "2015-07-22T14:14:57Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > It’s a reasonable summer beer. I prefer Pacifico or Modelo or even Bohemia myself, but Dos Equis will do. The only Mexican beer I’m not so much a fan of is Corona. No, not because it’s the most popular, but because it always tastes skunked to me. Yes, clear or green bottles are more prone to skunking, and Pacifico comes in a clear bottle, but it just doesn’t usually have the skunk to it. I’m with you on Corona. I feel the same way about Heineken, and oh god, Beck’s. I was a bartender for several years. I have never opened a bottle of Beck’s and _not_ thought, “This has gone bad.” > [@gaffa](#): > > To be fair, I don’t know that my skills, tastes, interests and occupations are _objectively_ cool on whatever chart that lists all the cool things. I do know that my friends (who are indeed cool) seem to find them cool. > That’s the thing - visible signs of coolness are the ones I value the least, and that I view with suspicion. > That’s cool. For you, I mean. Dude, I was just being a goof. I got the impression you were lamenting the fact that you aren’t cool. You seem pretty cool to me (and I’m obviously the arbiter of cool). While I’m firmly on the side of dressing well (because it’s a big charisma modifier), the minute you start _trying_ to look cool, you start looking like you’re trying too hard, which has the opposite effect. That’s why no one likes Hipsters. ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/35 "2015-07-22T17:38:18Z")
If you subtract 20 years and 20 pounds, I am young and fit. But still not cool. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/36 "2015-07-22T18:50:28Z")
> [@Lowdown](#): > > Dos Equis is pretty good though. The local store had 12 packs of Dos on sale for $11.99 and the boxes had $3 off coupons on them! I grabbed all I could! Turns out Dos Equis isn’t that good. ☹ Not bad, but not so good. ---
**Author:** ![Lowdown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Lowdown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lowdown)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475/37 "2015-07-22T20:36:51Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > The local store had 12 packs of Dos on sale for $11.99 and the boxes had $3 off coupons on them! I grabbed all I could! > > Turns out Dos Equis isn’t that good. ☹ Not bad, but not so good. Oh come on! It’s pretty good for $0.75 per bottle! Temper your expectations! So anyway… The Most Interesting Man In The World is clearly cool. Would we say being interesting is a requisite of cool? Or can one be cool without being interesting? I would say that if you’re just some generic dude, that’s not very cool. Say you’ve got some dreary day-job doing paperwork or sales, drive a Camry, have 2.5 kids, only wear blue shirts, don’t listen to music, and watch sitcoms after dinner, football on the weekends…you’re not very interesting. Can you be cool? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-in-theory-cool-but-only-in-theory/725475.md?page=1)