# I am interested in studying how gender dynamics work in marriage **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 3, 2018, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090 "2018-02-03T07:22:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Luciano700](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Luciano700](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Luciano700)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090/1 "2018-02-03T07:22:36Z")
Not gender roles, but gender dynamics. That way I can see how most mysogny and relationship-related frustration stems out. So what’s a good way to start out with this topic? Oops, wrong forum. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090/2 "2018-02-03T07:39:55Z")
**Moderator Action** > [@Luciano700](#): > > Oops, wrong forum. Can’t help you with your question, but I can fix this. Moving thread from GQ to IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Luciano700](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Luciano700](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Luciano700)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090/3 "2018-02-03T07:51:21Z")
> [@engineer\_comp\_geek](#): > > **Moderator Action** > > Can’t help you with your question, but I can fix this. > > Moving thread from GQ to IMHO. Sounds good to me 😃 ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090/4 "2018-02-03T08:46:53Z")
Perhaps one way to start would be to clarify the difference between gender _roles_ and _dynamics_ for us. I’m not sure I see a difference, and if I did, it may not be the same as what you have in mind. ---
**Author:** ![diggerwam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/919ad9/32.png) [@diggerwam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/diggerwam)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090/5 "2018-02-03T12:47:42Z")
I’m interested in putting my 2 cents in (married 25 yrs, not bragging) but you need to be way more specific. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090/6 "2018-02-03T13:38:49Z")
30 years married here. Raised two strong independent women. Perhaps our easily distracted friend could elaborate on just what data he seeks. I can provide anecdotes which might point the way to actual research. ---
**Author:** ![Luciano700](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Luciano700](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Luciano700)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090/7 "2018-02-03T16:45:43Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Perhaps one way to start would be to clarify the difference between gender _roles_ and _dynamics_ for us. I’m not sure I see a difference, and if I did, it may not be the same as what you have in mind. Gender dynamics refers to the relationships and interactions between and among girls, boys, women and men. Gender dynamics are informed by sociocultural ideas about gender and the power relationships that define them. Depending upon how they are manifested, gender dynamics can reinforce or challenge existing norms. > **[Glossary & Thesaurus](https://eige.europa.eu/publications-resources/thesaurus/overview)** > > EIGE's Gender Equality Glossary & Thesaurus is a spec ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090/8 "2018-02-03T16:54:08Z")
Married almost 25 years and I have no idea what kind of info you are looking to get. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090/9 "2018-02-03T17:01:04Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Married almost 25 years and I have no idea what kind of info you are looking to get. I’ve been married three times and am also wondering. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090/10 "2018-02-03T17:07:46Z")
> [@Luciano700](#): > > Gender dynamics refers to the relationships and interactions between and among girls, boys, women and men. Gender dynamics are informed by sociocultural ideas about gender and the power relationships that define them. Depending upon how they are manifested, gender dynamics can reinforce or challenge existing norms. > [http://eige.europa.eu/rdc/thesaurus/terms/1164](http://eige.europa.eu/rdc/thesaurus/terms/1164) What you’re really asking is, “What’s it like when boy likes a girl and she likes him back and they start dating?” Answer: A lot depends on the boy and girl: How they were raised; How old they are; Lots of other things… Is there someone special you’d like to ask out in school but aren’t quite sure how? If so,\*\* do not\*\* open with: “I’d like to explore the possibility of mutually suitable gender dynamics with you.” ---
**Author:** ![Luciano700](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Luciano700](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Luciano700)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090/11 "2018-02-03T17:18:55Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > What you’re really asking is, “What’s it like when boy likes a girl and she likes him back and they start dating?” > > Answer: A lot depends on the boy and girl: How they were raised; How old they are; Lots of other things… > > Is there someone special you’d like to ask out in school but aren’t quite sure how? If so,\*\* do not\*\* open with: “I’d like to explore the possibility of mutually suitable gender dynamics with you.” That’s one thing I want to learn. That and sexual/relationship frustration. ---
**Author:** ![Luciano700](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Luciano700](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Luciano700)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090/12 "2018-02-03T17:21:20Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Married almost 25 years and I have no idea what kind of info you are looking to get. How does most relationship frustration ignite? That’s a big question I have. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090/13 "2018-02-03T17:22:43Z")
> [@Luciano700](#): > > That’s one thing I want to learn. That and sexual/relationship frustration. Lesson 1. Use smaller words and ask more direct questions. ex. If you want to ask about dating, say so. Don’t bullshit around the bush with “gender dynamics”. It doesn’t mean what you think it means and you won’t learn anything by trying to sound more clever than you are. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090/14 "2018-02-03T17:28:58Z")
> [@Luciano700](#): > > How does most relationship frustration ignite? > That’s a big question I have. Everyone gets sick and tired of everyone else’s shit after a while. ---
**Author:** ![Luciano700](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Luciano700](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Luciano700)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090/15 "2018-02-03T17:32:08Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Lesson 1. > > Use smaller words and ask more direct questions. ex. If you want to ask about dating, say so. Don’t bullshit around the bush with “gender dynamics”. It doesn’t mean what you think it means and you won’t learn anything by trying to sound more clever than you are. What do people value the most in relationships? ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090/16 "2018-02-03T17:35:52Z")
> [@Luciano700](#): > > What do people value the most in relationships? Ask a dozen people and get a dozen answers. For me: I value tenderness, respect, partnership, and a sense that we are facing the world together. ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090/17 "2018-02-03T17:38:56Z")
One data point for your study: My wife and I are different genders and we have pretty good dynamics. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090/18 "2018-02-03T17:43:14Z")
> [@Luciano700](#): > > What do people value the most in relationships? There is no ONE thing and a lot depends on the kind of relationship you’re looking for. Also, different people put different priorities on different attributes. Me, I value: trust, respect, honesty, intellectual and physical attraction. Fairly common qualities in good long term relationships. ---
**Author:** ![Luciano700](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Luciano700](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Luciano700)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090/19 "2018-02-03T17:51:38Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > There is no ONE thing and a lot depends on the kind of relationship you’re looking for. > > Also, different people put different priorities on different attributes. > > Me, I value: trust, respect, honesty, intellectual and physical attraction. Fairly common qualities in good long term relationships. Fairwell. If I can think another reasonable question I will ask it. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090/20 "2018-02-03T18:34:05Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Everyone gets sick and tired of everyone else’s shit after a while. With communication and a willingness to listen and evolve this doesn’t have to be a big issue. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-interested-in-studying-how-gender-dynamics-work-in-marriage/808090.md?page=2)