# I am NEVER ordering anything by FedEx again **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 31, 2015, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253 "2015-05-31T14:11:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/21 "2015-05-31T17:24:32Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > I’ve known many first-gen immigrant sub-continentians and only a handful lacked any discernible accent, including quite a few with advanced degrees obtained in the US. It’s a pleasant accent but like any other, when it make speech hard to understand it can be an annoyance. Hiring people who may have fluent command of English but a thick accent - be it Hindi, South’ren or Scots - is an exceptionally poor business choice. Reasonable. > [@Knowed Out](#): > > The rep says something like “Hookah wallah bimbim sallah bim, duwali couscous nahasapeemapetilon?” “Uh, I got a door tag and I’m here at the FedEx office and they told me to call this number to get the tracking number,” I reply. “Apu wallah wallah bing bang many arms elephant?” says the rep. “Uh, you want the door tag number, right?” > > Much like the friendly robot, I repeat the door tag number three times to no payoff. The rep is explaining something using more bim bim sallah bim language, and I finally say, “Look, can you transfer me to an American call center?” I think that made him angry. I finally turn to the girl at the counter and say, “Look, can you talk to him? I can’t speak his language.” Not so much. The first quote is just explaining an annoying situation. The second one has the implication of, “Ugh, who can understand these people, when they speak it sounds like nonsense gibberish. Also, LOL Indian people like to eat couscous, amirite? Amirite?” Just, really gross. It’s possible to complain about outsourced call centers and the practice of hiring non-native speakers to handle phone transactions, without referring to the Indian language as “bim bim sallah bim language” and throwing in a bunch of random references to stereotypically Indian stuff that you saw on a Simpsons cartoon or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/22 "2015-05-31T17:33:20Z")
Huh, another poster outs himself as a racist dick. Well, alrighty, then. And an _ignorant_ racist dick, at that - couscous isn’t even Indian… ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/23 "2015-05-31T17:40:42Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > I can’t read your post. It just comes out as “wallah wallah bing bang, apu nandu, Namaste!” to me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/24 "2015-05-31T17:43:11Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I’m going to give you both the benefit of the doubt and assume you don’t realize this is incredibly offensive because you’re stupid. You’re too kind. I was so focused on the stupidity of not realizing how FedEx works that I totally missed the racism. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/25 "2015-05-31T17:59:36Z")
Right, I’ve always had a tracking number provided via e-mail when the shipment is sent, most often by the merchant. And yes FedEx and UPS are a PITA when they cannot deliver directly, it usually means heading for a depot out in the sticks or somewhere in a recondite back end of an industrial park, with quite inconvenient hours. This is why my valuable deliveries go to my private maildrop address, or if/when allowed, to the office. > [@Mr\_Shine](#): > > Yes some extreme Scottish accents are harder for me to understand than Indian call centre staff, that doesn’t change the fact they still do tend to sound like Apu wallah wallah bing bang many arms elephant Damn you now you have me stuck thinking of that phrase being spoken in a very thick Scots accent. But really, who mocks accents that way any more? That sounds like it’s from some bad vaudeville. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/26 "2015-05-31T18:36:55Z")
As others pointed out, the OP is a racist asshole. He’s also stupid, in that he didn’t “order something by Fedex.” He ordered something from a company that chose to use Fedex for delivery. Most companies don’t give you a choice in which delivery service to use in sending your order. And I have no idea why the door tag didn’t translate to a tracking number. Normally that works fine, or as suggested, he should have received an email message with the tracking number. If he didn’t, he can contact the vendor and ask them for it. ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/27 "2015-05-31T18:37:31Z")
Leaving aside the OP’s indelicate-ness, I think the incident described highlights a terrible business practice that is becoming more and more widespread. I call it “officious-ness”. An employee is unable, or perhaps even prevented as in the current case, from helping a customer, yet then is required to offer a, “Have a nice day.” I find that sort of policy mindless and infuriating. Ditto for reading to me from a script during a customer service call. It’s false politeness intended to disguise the fact that the company refuses to empower an employee to take any action beyond what’s explicitly permitted and scripted. It does harm to me, and the employee. Southwest Airlines is well known for allowing employees to do whatever is necessary (within regulatory and legal boundaries) to solve a problem for a customer. They can bend or break company policy under some circumstances. Similarly, if you call them you talk to a human who actually speaks to you like another human. No script, at least as far as I can tell. I wish that would become more common. It’s easy to see why there is resistance to this sort of thing. But I have to believe it would help business to unchain employees from the nonsensical performance art they are required to recite, and that no one believes is for the customer’s benefit. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/28 "2015-05-31T18:44:17Z")
All call centers should be in Jamaica or Ireland. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/29 "2015-05-31T18:50:51Z")
> [@Llama\_Llogophile](#): > > Leaving aside the OP’s indelicate-ness, I think the incident described highlights a terrible business practice that is becoming more and more widespread. I call it “officious-ness”. > > An employee is unable, or perhaps even prevented as in the current case, from helping a customer, yet then is required to offer a, “Have a nice day.” I find that sort of policy mindless and infuriating. Ditto for reading to me from a script during a customer service call. It’s false politeness intended to disguise the fact that the company refuses to empower an employee to take any action beyond what’s explicitly permitted and scripted. It does harm to me, and the employee. > > Southwest Airlines is well known for allowing employees to do whatever is necessary (within regulatory and legal boundaries) to solve a problem for a customer. They can bend or break company policy under some circumstances. Similarly, if you call them you talk to a human who actually speaks to you like another human. No script, at least as far as I can tell. > > I wish that would become more common. It’s easy to see why there is resistance to this sort of thing. But I have to believe it would help business to unchain employees from the nonsensical performance art they are required to recite, and that no one believes is for the customer’s benefit. I agree. Zappos is another company like that. New Balance discontinued the shoe that I wanted to order so I called to see what would be the closest replacement. Before he would tell me, he got on-line to see if anyone else had some. When it turned out that there weren’t any, he called New Balance and asked to find out what they recommended and then ordered it for me. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/30 "2015-05-31T18:53:41Z")
I heard a story on the public radio program _This American Life_ about a call center in Mexico staffed by people who had been deported from the US for illegal immigration. The guy who was interviewed came to the US as a young child from Mexico and was kicked out as a young adult (and I gathered that was the status of many of his co-workers). So these workers were native American English speakers but cheaper than people in a US-based call center would be. Clever idea. I’ ve also heard that some call center work is moving to the Philipines, as the English fluency is better. (I suppose that means that the former Indian call center workers can move up to higher level work, including, one hopes, whatever it is that **Knowed Out** does for a living.) ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/31 "2015-05-31T19:04:55Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > I agree. Zappos is another company like that. New Balance discontinued the shoe that I wanted to order so I called to see what would be the closest replacement. Before he would tell me, he got on-line to see if anyone else had some. When it turned out that there weren’t any, he called New Balance and asked to find out what they recommended and then ordered it for me. Yeah, Zappos’ customer service is spectacular. I guess it would have to be, for a company that sells shoes over the Internet. But still. I had to return a pair of shoes that didn’t fit correctly, and it was easier/faster to process the return than I’ve experienced at many brick-and-mortar stores. ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/32 "2015-05-31T19:07:56Z")
What the hell is going on in this thread? I’m an Indian and I don’t have an accent. 😕 As far as couscous, I could take it or leave it. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/33 "2015-05-31T19:10:38Z")
I can’t believe that the English fluency is better in the Philippines than in India. It’s probably just cheaper labor rates. In any event, I have had both good and bad experiences from tech support in both places. Admittedly, I just went through a three day marathon of shitty tech support with a bunch of Indians working for a Verizon contractor but it seriously never crossed my mind that their nationality was to blame because that would be incredibly idiotic. One thing that I have noticed is that there is no pretense that the employees are in India anymore. It used to be that you would get someone with a thick Indian accent and they’d introduce themselves as Steven or Peter. Now it’s Vanesh or Sidhur. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/34 "2015-05-31T19:11:56Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Yeah, Zappos’ customer service is spectacular. I guess it would have to be, for a company that sells shoes over the Internet. But still. I had to return a pair of shoes that didn’t fit correctly, and it was easier/faster to process the return than I’ve experienced at many brick-and-mortar stores. And it’s not just shoes anymore. I buy my underwear and Levi’s from them too. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/35 "2015-05-31T19:40:13Z")
> [@jimbuff314](#): > > What the hell is going on in this thread? I’m an Indian and I don’t have an accent. 😕 > > As far as couscous, I could take it or leave it. Ah, but can you understand my thick north American accent? > [@hajario](#): > > …One thing that I have noticed is that there is no pretense that the employees are in India anymore. It used to be that you would get someone with a thick Indian accent and they’d introduce themselves as Steven or Peter. Now it’s Vanesh or Sidhur. not true. The guy who called me, unsolicited, from “Microsoft” to help me with my Windows computer had a very thick Indian accent, but said his name was Eric. (My MIL accepted “help” from one of those crooks, but that’s another story.) ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/36 "2015-05-31T19:52:46Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > not true. The guy who called me, unsolicited, from “Microsoft” to help me with my Windows computer had a very thick Indian accent, but said his name was Eric. > > (My MIL accepted “help” from one of those crooks, but that’s another story.) I’m not sure what that has to do with what I said because anyone should be able to see the distinction between a customer support center for a legitimate business and a group of con artists. (I got one of those calls too but I didn’t catch guy’s name. I played alone for a bit by asking him increasingly ridiculous questions until he clued in and laughed out loud.) ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/37 "2015-05-31T20:12:41Z")
> [@BlankSlate](#): > > All call centers should be in Jamaica or Ireland. “Rasta Marley Red Stripe ackee ackee ganja I and I!” “Sláinte whisky shite potato after me Lucky Charms!” Doesn’t seem to help. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/38 "2015-05-31T20:32:59Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > But really, who mocks accents that way any more? That sounds like it’s from some bad vaudeville. I do, but only around my wife, who knows that I’m a mimic. I’ve been doing accents, dialects and famous people voices since I was a wee lad. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/39 "2015-05-31T20:46:40Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > “Rasta Marley Red Stripe ackee ackee ganja I and I!” > > “Sláinte whisky shite potato after me Lucky Charms!” > > Doesn’t seem to help. Ooh, more. I feel like Jamie Lee Curtis in A Fish Called Wanda. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/40 "2015-05-31T21:33:54Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > . . . if you fucking listen . . . you can understand what is being said. . . . Not always. Some employees have accents that are simply impenetrable. I’ve been in never-ending “What? Please say that again? What? Can you repeat that? More slowly, please?” loops. These are calls I want very much to succeed…and the guy on the other end really is trying his best. He just has too thick an accent. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253.md?page=3)