# I am NEVER ordering anything by FedEx again **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 31, 2015, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253 "2015-05-31T14:11:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/41 "2015-05-31T22:33:43Z")
> [@](#): > > I do, but only around my wife, who knows that I’m a mimic. I’ve been doing accents, dialects and famous people voices since I was a wee lad. Sure, but who throws in random brand names and objects into it anymore. I guess we do … > [@VinylTurnip](#): > > "Rasta Marley Red Stripe ackee ackee ganja I and I _“…Man!”_ you can’t forget that. But a standard Jamaican English accent is quite nice… that may be my geographic bias speaking. ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/42 "2015-05-31T22:44:25Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > “Sláinte whisky shite potato after me Lucky Charms!” I’m not sure where I go to suggest this for the national motto. ---
**Author:** ![california\_jobcase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/43 "2015-05-31T23:01:07Z")
I’m mad at Amazon or UPS or both. Order gets sent out on UPS. It makes good time for free shipping. But what does UPS do when it gets close? It hands it off to USPS! The problem, you ask? USPS carriers won’t get off their butts and knock on the door. They just honk their horn, expecting me to discern their honk from the frequent honks heard from the state highway outside. Then, not seeing anyone coming from the house, they take the time to fill out a “sorry we missed you- bring this to the post office ten miles away to get your package” and go to the mailbox out on the road for a second time to put in the slip. At least UPS will knock, then leave the package if there is no answer. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/44 "2015-05-31T23:24:30Z")
> [@california\_jobcase](#): > > I’m mad at Amazon or UPS or both. Order gets sent out on UPS. It makes good time for free shipping. But what does UPS do when it gets close? It hands it off to USPS! The problem, you ask? USPS carriers won’t get off their butts and knock on the door. Sounds like you’re in a rural/remote area. That’s why UPS hands off to USPS, they don’t want the expense of those last miles. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/45 "2015-05-31T23:25:19Z")
> [@california\_jobcase](#): > > I’m mad at Amazon or UPS or both. Order gets sent out on UPS. It makes good time for free shipping. But what does UPS do when it gets close? It hands it off to USPS! . . . > > At least UPS will knock, then leave the package if there is no answer. Heh! My problem is almost exactly the opposite. I buy stuff online, and ask for it to be shipped to my P.O. Box. Nice, safe, convenient P.O. Box. But, instead, idiot vendors will take it to UPS, and idiot UPS will take it, look up my home address in a directory somewhere, and then try to deliver it to my front door! Guys, I use a P.O. Box for a reason! UPS has no right to try to deliver to an address that isn’t on the package! (What if I’m buying porno, and my innocent old grandmother opens the box? What if I’m buying snacks, and greedy Uncle Ernie eats it all? What if the neighbor kids see the box lying on my porch and just swipe it? DAMN UPS!) ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2015, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/46 "2015-05-31T23:32:01Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > Not always. Some employees have accents that are simply impenetrable. I’ve been in never-ending “What? Please say that again? What? Can you repeat that? More slowly, please?” loops. These are calls I want very much to succeed…and the guy on the other end really is trying his best. He just has too thick an accent. I think it’s harder to understand because it’s over the phone. I had a boss once from Nepal. He spoke excellent English as far as grammar and vocabulary, but did have a pretty strong accent. I could understand him with no problem speaking face to face, but when we were talking over the phone, it was an entirely different story. I’d hang up wondering what I’d just agreed to. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2015, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/47 "2015-06-01T00:15:27Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Sounds like you’re in a rural/remote area. That’s why UPS hands off to USPS, they don’t want the expense of those last miles. Sometimes they do it here as well and this is medium density residential. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2015, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/48 "2015-06-01T00:23:53Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > Heh! My problem is almost exactly the opposite. I buy stuff online, and ask for it to be shipped to my P.O. Box. Nice, safe, convenient P.O. Box. > > But, instead, idiot vendors will take it to UPS, and idiot UPS will take it, look up my home address in a directory somewhere, and then try to deliver it to my front door! > > Guys, I use a P.O. Box for a reason! UPS has no right to try to deliver to an address that isn’t on the package! ^ This! I give a PO Box address _FOR A REASON_. I want it delivered THERE. WTF do you deliver it somewhere _else?_ The first time I confronted a vendor on this the guy said “But you get it faster!” No, fuckwit, I DON’T. Because _there is no one there to sign for the fucking package!_ And I didn’t want it FAST, I wanted it CHEAP. Also, I pass my PO Box to and from going to my paying job, that’s twice a day. It’s NOT inconvenient for me. The goddamned terminal for the delivery service IS inconvenient, being located in an entirely different city in a direction I almost never travel. No, don’t leave it on my fucking doorstep, it will get stolen. No, I am NOT taking a day off work to sit on my ass waiting for a package that could be sent in a manner that’s doesn’t inconvenience me. I said SEND IT US MAIL. Why the FUCK did you send it some other way? When I bought the goddamned thing you said you’d send it US Mail. Fucking liars. WTF don’t people LISTEN? AND what’s the reluctance to _mail things_ to my _mailing address?_ GRRR! :mad: (no, I’m not bitter, why do you ask…?) ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Feldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lord_feldon/32/341_2.png) [@Lord\_Feldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Feldon)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2015, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/49 "2015-06-01T00:31:54Z")
> [@california\_jobcase](#): > > I’m mad at Amazon or UPS or both. Order gets sent out on UPS. It makes good time for free shipping. But what does UPS do when it gets close? It hands it off to USPS! You’re mad at Amazon. SurePost is an option chosen by the sender. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2015, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/50 "2015-06-01T00:51:28Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > . . . WTF don’t people LISTEN? AND what’s the reluctance to _mail things_ to my _mailing address?_ > > GRRR! > > :mad: > > (no, I’m not bitter, why do you ask…?) Compadre! Bitter, now… I’m bitter with UPS, because they used to deliver stuff to my uncle, who has the same last name, rather than to me, because my house was hard to find (well, it was a horse-ranch, way out on the back highways) and my uncle’s house was right there in town. Totally different person, and the address bore no resemblance at all to the shipping address. But he and I are both named “Trinopus” so of course it’s okay for them to deliver my mail to him. How could that possibly be bad? For that breach of business ethics, I’m poisonous rank bitter, and will drink hell and damnation to UPS in any vintage, any time. ---
**Author:** ![OldOlds](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a3d4f5/32.png) [@OldOlds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldOlds)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2015, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/51 "2015-06-01T00:52:41Z")
Yeah, to be fair, not being able to understand someone’s accent doesn’t make you a racist. And expecting a company serving a certain population (i.e., US) to employ call centers where the operators are understandable to the target population is a reasonable expectation. Making fun on the accent like that, yeah. Seems a bit racist to me. ---
**Author:** ![Jamicat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jamicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamicat)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2015, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/52 "2015-06-01T01:45:57Z")
I didn’t read the whole thread. On the delivery note there’s a check box to authorize leaving package. I have a screened porch and a cat door so that worked for me. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2015, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/53 "2015-06-01T02:54:12Z")
> [@OldOlds](#): > > . . . Making fun on the accent like that, yeah. Seems a bit racist to me. But it’s not making fun of racial differences. It’s making fun of cultural/ethnic/social differences. It’s not saying, “Those dark-skinned fools…” There are plenty of people of my own race who speak with a very heavy accent. We’ve mentioned the Irish and Scots, and I’ve had issues with Texans and whatever it is you call people from Maine – Maineans? The joke may have been offensive, but it wasn’t exactly racist. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2015, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/54 "2015-06-01T03:30:39Z")
Mainiacs ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Feldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lord_feldon/32/341_2.png) [@Lord\_Feldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Feldon)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2015, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/55 "2015-06-01T04:03:06Z")
One of the issues here is that delivery services _don’t work for recipients_. If you’re the person receiving the package, they have no legal or ethical duty to _you_, because you’re not their customer. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2015, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/56 "2015-06-01T04:09:05Z")
**Lord Feldon** : tricky. The service is at least partly to my benefit. If the vendor is their real customer, remember that I’m the vendor’s customer. If FedEx fucks it up, the [Vendor.com](http://Vendor.com) suffers. Also…the recipient of the package has a fair deal of economic clout. We write Yelp reviews, and we fill out feedback forms. I’ve spent time on the phone with customer service complaint departments – and I made damn sure that my words were understood. You might as well say that the wholesaler doesn’t care for end-customers. I’m Mars Candy, and my “real” customers are the stores and chains where candy is sold. The guy who buys a bag of M&Ms is not my customer. Figure they’re going to succeed in business with that attitude? That’s suicide. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Feldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lord_feldon/32/341_2.png) [@Lord\_Feldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Feldon)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2015, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/57 "2015-06-01T04:17:21Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > **Lord Feldon** : tricky. The service is at least partly to my benefit. If the vendor is their real customer, remember that I’m the vendor’s customer. If FedEx fucks it up, the [Vendor.com](http://Vendor.com) suffers. But sometimes people are mad at FedEx or UPS for _not_ fucking up. When the FedEx driver leaves a slip without even knocking on the door, or when your package is drop kicked from the street, that’s fucking up. But when they hand a package over to the post office, or look up your address because they can’t deliver to a PO box, that’s a problem with the vendor purchasing a service you wish they hadn’t. ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2015, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/58 "2015-06-01T04:23:14Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > “Sláinte whisky shite potato after me Lucky Charms!” That’s extraordinarily offensive. In Ireland, they spell it “whiskey”. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2015, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/59 "2015-06-01T04:34:08Z")
> [@california\_jobcase](#): > > I’m mad at Amazon or UPS or both. Order gets sent out on UPS. It makes good time for free shipping. But what does UPS do when it gets close? It hands it off to USPS! The problem, you ask? USPS carriers won’t get off their butts and knock on the door. They just honk their horn, expecting me to discern their honk from the frequent honks heard from the state highway outside. Then, not seeing anyone coming from the house, they take the time to fill out a “sorry we missed you- bring this to the post office ten miles away to get your package” and go to the mailbox out on the road for a second time to put in the slip. > > At least UPS will knock, then leave the package if there is no answer. If you have Prime, then the following day you pull up a chat window, tell them you didn’t get your package and A)accept the free month of Prime they’ll give you and B)Let them figure out the problem. If they told me I had to drive to the post office I’d reply with 'That doesn’t work for me, I pay $99 a year for 2 day delivery, I shouldn’t have to go drive to pick it up, could you please resend it with a different carrier that will leave it at my house or contact USPS and make sure it gets here soon". Of course, if this is something that requires a signature (or worse, an adult signature) all bets are off. Either way, this is why I have all my deliveries sent to work. There’s always someone there if something needs to get signed for, nothing is ever sitting out in the freezing cold or rain, packages are never delayed for a day because the driver didn’t feel like walking up to the house (they don’t pull that stunt on businesses) etc. But seriously, if you have Prime, pull up a Chat window and complain as soon as the package is late and let them make it right. ETA, if I have something coming to my house that I know requires a signature and I know I won’t be home I usually tape a note to my door that says something like “UPS Driver, please leave package on porch, Joey P [signature]”. Works about half the time, but it’s worth the try instead of having to wait a day (or over the weekend) to pick it up at the UPS warehouse the next business day. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2015, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253/60 "2015-06-01T05:01:23Z")
A couple of years ago, I ordered some gifts for Christmas packages several weeks ahead of Christmas. Just two weeks prior to Christmas, and the packages hadn’t arrived, I contacted the company that I had ordered the packages from, and they looked into their system and told me, “Well, Fed Ex said the attempted to make a delivery on \ but there was nobody home, so they left a notice on the door. And then the next day, they re-delivered and left the package on your front doorstep.” Now, it just so happens that I was home the entire day they claim that they had left the notice, but nobody ever came to my door, and nobody ever left a notice on the door. And then the question comes up, why would they have attempted to deliver again on the very next day? If they HAD left me a notice, wouldn’t I have been trying to visit them that next day to pick up the package? And would not have been able to do so because you claim that you had it in your truck trying to redeliver it to me while I’m here trying to pick it up? So in other words, FedEx just flat out lied all the way around. I have no idea what ever happened to the package. I think the FedEx guy probably pocketed it. So I canceled the order and got my money back, and had to run out to find more presents. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-never-ordering-anything-by-fedex-again/721253.md?page=4)