# I am not a carpenter aunt. (MMP) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [June 2, 2003, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105 "2003-06-02T12:00:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2003, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105/141 "2003-06-08T13:44:08Z")
Actually, **Angel Pants** , you’re scary enough all by yourself. Dang, you had a manly day. It rained all day here too, so I stayed inside and did my laundry. Which is girly. Now, I’m not the regressive sort of guy who thinks doing laundry is “women’s work” or anything, but I spend a couple of hours with some big, heavy machinery and didn’t build or demolish anything. Not manly. As if I didn’t have enough reason to be envious of **Fairychatdad**. I want a honkin’ big-assed air compressor too. I’m gonna’ go downstairs and hug my drill. It’s a nice one. 14.4 volt DeWalt cordless. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2003, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105/142 "2003-06-08T14:16:43Z")
**FCM** , where are you building in Maryland? Do you have a site yet? Is it all dug up and covered with boards? Just asking. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2003, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105/143 "2003-06-08T14:23:29Z")
**FCM** , where are you building in Maryland? Do you have a site yet? Is it all dug up and covered with boards? Just asking. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2003, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105/144 "2003-06-08T22:48:44Z")
**Shibb** , we’re buying a lot in California - just off Rt 4 between Lexington Park and Solomons. It’s about 1.5 acres, all wooded, and as yet untouched. We’ve decided where we’d like the house to sit, but we’ve got to contact the county about setback and right-of-way requirements. I’d like to get started on the foundation and basement as soon as possible, but until this house is sold, it’ll just be a wooded lot. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2003, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105/145 "2003-06-09T00:03:07Z")
So California is now in Maryland. Geez, I spend a day doing manly work and the continent shifted. Whoda thunk it! 😃 Scary enough just by myself. I like that **Ex**. I put together two Rubbermaid[sup]TM[/sup] storage units to put in my storage building this afternoon. Was that manly? I used an electric screw driver. I forgot to comment on this earlier, but **FairyChatMom** good to know **The Boy [sup]TM[/sup]** is still trying to impress. You should start making a list of chores he could do. Heck, why waste good free labor, I say. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2003, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105/146 "2003-06-09T00:08:45Z")
Heck, I thought California was here between East End and Anderson. Now it’s in Maryland, too? Sheesh. I spent all day doing manly stuff, like cutting the grass, trimming the hedges (with a power hedge trimmer), etc. We were going to go to the airshow but a thunderstorm came up just as I was finishing up. So then I took the Shibblets for ice cream and corn dogs. And we brought some chocolates back for Mom. I also did all of the laundry. Next I’m cooking some Thai noodles with pork loin and fried bean curd. Yum. (Cooking is a manly art in my family). **Swampbear** , you can’t trademark “The Boy”, it’s what I call my son. And I have right of prior use. You can even find it on the first page of this thread. ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2003, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105/147 "2003-06-09T22:36:51Z")
Hey, sorry I haven’t been around to help promote manly stuff, **Ex**. I’ve been far to busy hanging lights, pulling ropes, climbing ladders, whacking stuff with my wrench, and all the other fun manly stuff I get to do when we mount (heh) a new show at work. You should see the callouses I have. Makes it hard to type. Anyway, got to get back to work, I’ve almost stopped sweating. (grunt) ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2003, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105/148 "2003-06-09T23:24:40Z")
mmmmmmmmmm… **lightingtool** is sweating. So… **lightingtool** how **YOU** doin’? [sub]I can’t help it. Sweaty men make me wild.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2003, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105/149 "2003-06-09T23:33:41Z")
Okay, **lightingtool** , you are officially declared “manly”. If you stop by in the next hour, I’ll tatoo your certificate on to your shoulder free of charge. That’s just another service provided by Exgineer’s Manliness Emporium. Donuts and black coffee on Tuesdays. Rye whiskey and pilsner on Thursdays. Leave the wife at home, unless you’re kinky. Are you aware that there’s a brand new **Rue** thread out and about? Penned typed, actually by the Master himself? I’ve contributed approximately three lines so far, but I hope to increase my productivity in the near future. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look good. I’m lieing low just now. I think **Arnold Winkleried** is mad at me. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2003, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105/150 "2003-06-09T23:40:55Z")
Dang, **Ex** what did you do? ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105/151 "2003-06-10T00:12:12Z")
Nothing much, **Angel Pants**. I just broke the rules a tiny bit. Plus, I was mean to a new poster. Okay, I admit it, that last bit is unconscionable. That’s not like me at _all_, and I apologizied. I’m thinking about starting a new “Newbies and Lurkers” welcoming thread as atonement, but I figure that wouldn’t really cut any ice, because everybody knows I like to do that stuff anyway. **Arnold** just gave me one of his standard impersonal warnings, so I was joking about him being mad at me. I hope. I’ve never been warned before, and it was upsetting. ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105/152 "2003-06-10T11:40:06Z")
Quit whining. **Arnold’s** not nearly as scary as some of the other Mods. Manly indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105/153 "2003-06-10T15:14:22Z")
Well, \*\* Exgineer\*\* here’s a HUG from me anyway. A nice, _womanly_ hug, no power tools involved. Go, and be mean no more. ---
**Author:** ![Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wintermute)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105/154 "2003-06-10T17:57:14Z")
Oh, _knew_ I should have checked this thread over the weekend! There were spankings and I missed them! ☹ Maybe **Ex** will forgive me and spank me anyway. My BIL is big and bad, but he’s married to my sister, so he doesn’t care what I do. And, hard as it is to believe, I don’t have crowds of men following me where ever I go or duelling for my favors, so feel free to have your way with me, **Ex**. Or \*\* Welby\*\*. Or whomever. 😉 And all this testosterone floating about is making my head swim. I may need to sit down for a moment; I’m feeling faint. Or growing chest hair. It’s hard to tell. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105/155 "2003-06-10T19:21:05Z")
Well, I got here first, so **Wintermute** , you can be my official SDMB chick, if you want. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105/156 "2003-06-10T19:32:29Z")
I probably wouldn’t have followed through on the whole spanking thing anyway. You’ll have to settle for a light scolding. Just watch out for that sleazy **welby** character. He’s married. How that happened, I’ll never understand. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105/157 "2003-06-10T19:36:08Z")
**Ex** and **welby** play nice or no pool for either of you! Or, strip down oil up and wrestle each other. That’d be jake too. 😃 [sub]that oughta mess with their heads. hehhehheh.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105/158 "2003-06-10T19:42:08Z")
Well **Exgineer** , take two parts sexy, add an excellent sense of humor, lots of good looks, one stunning personality, a liberal dash of intelligence and stamina, bake between the sheets for a few months with a stunning woman, and there you have it: A married **welby!** I’m currently available for an on-message board mistress though, **Wintermute**. And I’ll spank you if you’re really naughty. And if you’re growing chest hair might I suggest that you send a little to **Exgineer** so he can glue it on his own chest? Puberty wasn’t kind to him. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wintermute)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105/159 "2003-06-10T19:51:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Exgineer \* > \*\*I probably wouldn’t have followed through on the whole spanking thing anyway. > > You’ll have to settle for a light scolding.\*\* Aw, come on, **Ex** , there’s nothing like a good spanking to warm the blood. [montypython]The spankings! The spankings[/montypython] Not that I’m really into spankings. You can tie me down, though, I don’t mind that at all. 😃 > [@](#): > > \*\*Just watch out for that sleazy **welby** character. He’s married. How that happened, I’ll never understand. \*\* Listen, just because he managed to get that poor girl drunk (or otherwise impaired) enough to marry him, well, no reason to slander the lad. The real question is how he makes her stay there…blackmail, maybe? 😉 Anyway, he’s been nothing but a gentleman to me. ---
**Author:** ![Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wintermute)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105/160 "2003-06-10T19:57:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by welby \* > \*\*Well **Exgineer** , take two parts sexy, add an excellent sense of humor, lots of good looks, one stunning personality, a liberal dash of intelligence and stamina, bake between the sheets for a few months with a stunning woman, and there you have it: A married **welby!** > > I’m currently available for an on-message board mistress though, **Wintermute**. And I’ll spank you if you’re really naughty. > > And if you’re growing chest hair might I suggest that you send a little to **Exgineer** so he can glue it on his own chest? Puberty wasn’t kind to him. 😃 \*\* Ooh, a mistress! It sounds so…naughty! I do naughty really well. 😃 Let’s see, I’ll have to go out and get some satin sheets, scarves for over the lamps, candles, condoms… What’s your favorite color, **Welby**? Favorite flavor? I can swing into the adult bookshop on my way home. (Really, I pass it daily) Winter (definitely getting into the mistress thing.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-a-carpenter-aunt-mmp/179105.md?page=9)