# I am NOT answering the FUCKING door! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 24, 2002, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728 "2002-05-24T23:39:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728/1 "2002-05-24T23:39:36Z")
So I’m sitting here, posting away, and there’s a soft knock at my door. I usually don’t answer the door unless I’m expecting someone or delivery or whatever. It’s happened that I’ve blindly answered the door and it’s some sad-sack guy trying to sell me a subscription to a newspaper, so I feel bad for him and go through with it. Another soft knock. I go to the peephole and stare through it for a few seconds. The guy goes back into his apartment. It’s my next-door neighbor, whom I’ve never met. No way am I answering the door looking like this. I’m wearing my dorky glasses from grade nine, pyjama bottoms, an old t-shirt, and my hair is a mess. On top of that, my apartment is the epitome of squallor at the moment. So what the fuck did he want? A cup of flour? A cup of sugar? Fucking vanilla extract? My TV isn’t on loud at all. Two minutes later, knock knock knock. I go back to the peephole, but he’s gone. WHAT THE FUCK? Now I’m a hostage here for the next couple of hours. I have a couple of things I have to leave the apartment to do, but now I’ll have to wait. Chalk it up to social phobia and a messy apartment. - s.e. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728/2 "2002-05-24T23:46:28Z")
There’s only one way to find out what he wants… ---
**Author:** ![heptapod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@heptapod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heptapod)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728/3 "2002-05-24T23:46:38Z")
He probably wants sex. ---
**Author:** ![Slainte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Slainte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slainte)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728/4 "2002-05-24T23:49:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by heptapod \* > \*\*He probably wants sex. \*\* Sixteen Candles? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bernse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728/5 "2002-05-24T23:55:52Z")
Wow. You’re pretty damn shy, aren’t you? I don’t like answering the door if I don’t know who it is and I’m not expecting it but you _know_ its your neighbor. Maybe he wants to invite you over for a beer or something… Take a chance! Live for the moment! Open the door!! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2002, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728/6 "2002-05-24T23:57:36Z")
Go an knock on _HIS_ door and then run away. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728/7 "2002-05-25T00:00:20Z")
You’re wrong about the front door - that knocking is coming from [sub]INSIDE THE HOUSE!!![/sub] :eek: You should open it - maybe it’ll turn out to be the love of your life, and you can be whisked off to a romantic getaway somewhere, where horses cavort about on the beach, and… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![odd-socks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c67d28/32.png) [@odd-socks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/odd-socks)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728/8 "2002-05-25T00:04:51Z")
I don’t answer the door either unless I know who it is. Although **Dooku** may have a point there… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728/9 "2002-05-25T00:07:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dooku \* > \*\*You should open it - maybe it’ll turn out to be the love of your life, and you can be whisked off to a romantic getaway somewhere, where horses cavort about on the beach, and… 😛 \*\* I’ve done it on a beach. 🆒 - s.e. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728/10 "2002-05-25T00:20:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dooku \* > \*\*You should open it - maybe it’ll turn out to be the love of your life, and you can be whisked off to a romantic getaway somewhere, where horses cavort about on the beach, and… 😛 \*\* You meant to post that in the spam porn title thread, right? ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728/11 "2002-05-25T00:41:40Z")
ROFL! I hadn’t even read that thread yet. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728/12 "2002-05-25T01:31:10Z")
I’ve never even heard of anyone that shy before. But then, I’ll answer my door wrapped in a blanket with my hair sticking straight up and still squinting to get used to the light. ---
**Author:** ![Jurhael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@Jurhael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurhael)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728/13 "2002-05-25T02:52:18Z")
Well, I’m THAT shy. Hell, I barely even answer the PHONE! eheh ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728/14 "2002-05-25T06:45:47Z")
> [@](#): > > But then, I’ll answer my door wrapped in a blanket with my hair sticking straight up and still squinting to get used to the light. You beat me. I am pretty shameless, but not _that_ shameless. (Well, maybe I am…) I’ve opened the door in some pretty bizarre just-got-out-of-bed get-ups. Though, scott - answer the door. We all are now dying to know what he wanted. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728/15 "2002-05-25T09:42:00Z")
At least you answer the phone, I hate some of the people that call us. We get these people wanting to talk to us but the concept of my taking a message is astonishingly foreign to them. And I get very few calls anyway, so that does not help. I miss hearing an actual ring, i cannot stand to hear some of this demented electronic tweetling that passes for a ring anymore. ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728/16 "2002-05-25T11:02:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by anya marie \* > \*\*At least you answer the phone, I hate some of the people that call us. \*\* The wonders of call display. I first got it to avoid having to blindly answer calls from my mother, which would always mean at least an hour out of my life when I least expected it. Now it’s more like: do I want to talk to you right now? If not, just leave a message. I’m not obligated to answer the phone whenever someone calls, just as I’m not obligated to answer the door if someone unexpected knocks. What I hate, though, are those anonymous calls. I get 000-000-0000 on my call display, with no message. What’s up with that? Or “Unknown name - Unknown number.” Fuck that. Like I’m going to answer that call. I think I should just unlist myself from the telephone book. - s.e. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728/17 "2002-05-25T14:39:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \* > \*\*I’ve never even heard of anyone that shy before. But then, I’ll answer my door wrapped in a blanket with my hair sticking straight up and still squinting to get used to the light. \*\* And the advantage with this is, it’s sometimes Jehovah’s Witnesses. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728/18 "2002-05-25T15:16:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by scott evil \* > \*\* > > I’ve done it on a beach. 🆒 > > - s.e. \*\* Yeah, well, back in college I did it on a theater stage decorated as a beach. With two tons of sand piled on the stage. The advantage? No screeching seagulls shooting shit shots at us. The disadvantage? Absolutely none. I was doing it on beach. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violet)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728/19 "2002-05-25T15:22:12Z")
I don’t answer doors & telephones & pages either. At least not immediately. I don’t jump for people. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728/20 "2002-05-25T15:39:01Z")
I don’t answer the door for strangers carrying bibles or those poor kids in fluorescent jackets carrying around crates of candy. However, I _do_ answer the door for the neighbors, even if I have to go grab a robe. I expect the same courtesy from them. Of course, I don’t go knocking unless I have a good reason. And a cup of sugar IS a legitimate reason. 🙂 Perhaps next time you could just poke your head out and query what the problem is…? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-answering-the-fucking-door/110728.md?page=2)