# I am not your doctor or pharmacist **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 23, 2015, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-doctor-or-pharmacist/732280 "2015-09-23T08:06:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2015, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-doctor-or-pharmacist/732280/61 "2015-09-25T14:45:53Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > What they’re really up to with varying locations is to force you to hunt for things, making you spend more time in the store where you will hopefully impulse-buy stuff. That is seriously annoying as hell, and half the time even the employees don’t know where stuff is now. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2015, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-doctor-or-pharmacist/732280/62 "2015-09-25T15:21:24Z")
True, very true. Oh, there’s some vague pattern/logic to the overall layout, but unless you can figure it out yeah, you’re lost even if you are an employee. Certainly no one person knows the exact location of everything, which is why managers and the store director will frequently ask the stock people where things are - the stockers are the most likely to know for their particular area. ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2015, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-doctor-or-pharmacist/732280/63 "2015-09-25T18:59:40Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I’m a discount store cashier. Most of the OP applies to me in some form or another. > > The standard response when people ask for anything is “If we have it, it would be in aisle (whether).” Gets them into the store. > > I was once asked the difference between two rolls of tape! How the hell do I know? > > I’ve also been asked if we carry condoms, handcuffs, and adult coloring books. I think everybody has adult coloring books now. I was just at Barnes and Noble and they had a couple of tables of them, so that might be easy, and it’s something someone might need to use to de-stress if they’ve used the first two items you mentioned. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2015, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-doctor-or-pharmacist/732280/64 "2015-09-25T20:37:51Z")
> [@Pai325](#): > > I think everybody has adult coloring books now. I was just at Barnes and Noble and they had a couple of tables of them, so that might be easy, and it’s something someone might need to use to de-stress if they’ve used the first two items you mentioned. Or they’re testing how good a colorer they are with their hands cuffed behind their back and a condom over their…well, I’m not sure what. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-doctor-or-pharmacist/732280/65 "2015-09-29T05:26:09Z")
> [@August\_West](#): > > I buy “ladies’ hosiery” all the time. Wal-mart sells knee-high nylons in little plastic bubbles that make excellent hop bags for home brewing. I buy them a dozen at a time. Back when I was a teenage Target cashier, a pre-teen boy ran up to his mother, panic-stricken, and said, “We have to call the police! There’s a man in the store, and he’s going to rob a bank!” His mother asked him, “What makes you think he’s going to rob a bank?” and the boy replied, “HE’S BUYING PANTYHOSE!” Mom answered, “He’s not going to rob a bank. His wife probably sent him to the store.” (or maybe he was doing homebrew?) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-doctor-or-pharmacist/732280/66 "2015-09-29T12:03:46Z")
> [@August\_West](#): > > I buy “ladies’ hosiery” all the time. Wal-mart sells knee-high nylons in little plastic bubbles that make excellent hop bags for home brewing. I buy them a dozen at a time. I’ve bought ladies pantyhose at the dollar store for winemaking. Once the cashier pointed out that I had two different sizes (queen is a size?). I replied, “grandma is pretty out of it mentally, she won’t even notice”, and got a nasty look. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-doctor-or-pharmacist/732280/67 "2015-09-29T12:53:39Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > I got fed up once and told a guy who was asking me absurd shit about constructing some kind of perpetual motion machine, “If I was able to answer that question, you couldn’t afford to ask me.” The correct answer to this question is, “In this store we obey the laws of THERMODYNAMICS!” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-doctor-or-pharmacist/732280/68 "2015-09-29T15:11:11Z")
A customer once told me “Put everything in one bag and don’t make it too heavy.” I so wanted to say “Okay, I’ll break the laws of physics just for you.” On Friday a customer in the next line asked “Is it okay if I reach over and grab these double A’s?”\* \*He was talking batteries, you pervert. But I did want to say “those, yes; these, no” with appropriate hand motions. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-doctor-or-pharmacist/732280/69 "2015-09-29T18:04:18Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I’ve bought ladies pantyhose at the dollar store for winemaking. Once the cashier pointed out that I had two different sizes (queen is a size?). I replied, “grandma is pretty out of it mentally, she won’t even notice”, and got a nasty look. One of the pharmacy trade magazines has a humor column. A while back, they printed a story from a pharmacist who did some relief work at an independent corner drugstore in a rural area, and a farmer came in and bought two big boxes of the old-fashioned belted maxi-pads. He said they were the best oil filters he’d ever used on his old tractor. 😛 And yes, “queen size” is still used for plus-sized pantyhose. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-doctor-or-pharmacist/732280/70 "2015-09-29T19:01:00Z")
I’m glad to know there actually is a use for knee-high pantyhose because they are shit at their intended use. Damn things always fell down around my ankles whenever I tried to wear them. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-doctor-or-pharmacist/732280/71 "2015-09-29T19:32:37Z")
Reminds me of my years selling health insurance. I neither want or need to know your medical history (hence my not asking any questions about it) especially not all the gory details. At best I would want to know how much medical care you need, in very general terms such as number of prescriptions, do you go to the doctor regularly and such. I’m not a doctor, I’m just selling the insurance plan. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-doctor-or-pharmacist/732280/72 "2015-09-29T22:12:56Z")
> [@Catamount](#): > > I’m glad to know there actually is a use for knee-high pantyhose because they are shit at their intended use. Damn things always fell down around my ankles whenever I tried to wear them. You can also fill them with kitty litter and then put them in shoes to absorb foot odor from in the shoes. Remove them when putting on the shoes. Professional driver, closed course. Do not attempt. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-doctor-or-pharmacist/732280.md?page=3)