# I am not your tech support! (Also, this is a small library you moron!) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 17, 2010, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012 "2010-11-17T19:45:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012/1 "2010-11-17T19:45:22Z")
The morons have been out in full force today and they’re all visiting/calling the library. The day began when a guy called wanting to know “Who does the governor answer to?” He didn’t like my answer of “No one” and then he mumbled “What about the President?” After telling him that the governor doesn’t directly answer to the President got him agitated and I suggested he call the Board of Elections. No lie, he said… “Why would the Board of Elections know anything about elected officials?” But he promised to call them anyway and closed with “I’m very disturbed you don’t know the answer to my question.” WHAT?!? The day continued when a woman brought her cell phone in and asked me if I could send the pictures on it to her email. Look lady, I’m a librarian, not tech support and even if it was my job to help with your cell phone, I don’t know shit about cell phones. Which I told you first thing. So why would you continue explaining your problem for another five minutes. She left by telling me “Thanks for nothing” even though I spent an hour helping her navigate the Internet and listening to her loudly sigh whenever someone else asked for my help. What a jackwagon! The morning rolled on and a woman looking for grantwriting information came in. I pointed her to the one grantwriting book we had and told the downtown library has a whole department devoted to grantwriting. She could not wrap her head around this and kept asking me “Doesn’t anyone in this town write grants?” After pulling one of these :smack: I wanted to explain that grantwriting material is very specialized and thus, not used very often. It’s also very expensive, so duplicating the collection of the downtown library in a small community branch is a huge fucking waste of money. Instead I told her that everyone goes downtown. So to anyone that visits a small/medium community library, please bear in mind that the librarians are not your tech support, the librarians are not research librarians and often don’t have access to what you need and also, the librarians are not stupid, so please don’t ask questions like “Who’s above the governor” and then yell at us because the answer isn’t the one you wanted to hear. I mean FUCK! Shhhhhh! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012/2 "2010-11-17T19:51:09Z")
Well, if what you studied to become a librarian is called “Library Science,” why don’t you have microscopes and test tubes and Bunsen burners and stuff? ---
**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012/3 "2010-11-17T20:29:10Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > What a jackwagon! Just curious – the only other time I’ve heard this phrase is in the Geico commercial with the Marine sergeant as the psychotherapist (“the color yellow makes me sad”…classic!). Did you get this from there, or is this some common term that I’ve managed to miss (I’m asking you in your role as SDMB poster, not in your role as librarian, because that would inappropriate). ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012/4 "2010-11-17T20:35:20Z")
> [@RitterSport](#): > > Just curious – the only other time I’ve heard this phrase is in the Geico commercial with the Marine sergeant as the psychotherapist (“the color yellow makes me sad”…classic!). Did you get this from there, or is this some common term that I’ve managed to miss (I’m asking you in your role as SDMB poster, not in your role as librarian, because that would inappropriate). Anecdote: I grew up in Oklahoma in the 80s and that is one of things the kids would call each other instead of curse words so we didn’t get in trouble at school. Another one was jay-hole though that one was skirting the line. EDIT: also that is my current favorite commercial. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012/5 "2010-11-17T20:36:35Z")
> [@RitterSport](#): > > Just curious – the only other time I’ve heard this phrase is in the Geico commercial with the Marine sergeant as the psychotherapist (“the color yellow makes me sad”…classic!). Did you get this from there, or is this some common term that I’ve managed to miss (I’m asking you in your role as SDMB poster, not in your role as librarian, because that would inappropriate). I stole “jackwagon” from the Geico commercial. But really, it’s just a cleaned up version of “asswagon,” which I’ve seen on message boards going back ten years (and it probably existed well before that). ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012/6 "2010-11-17T20:36:38Z")
I had a guy call from a mental hospital asking me for legal advice today about whether the contract he signed can be judged invalid because he’s in a mental hospital, if it makes you feel any better. I offered to transfer him up to the business and legal desk where they keep all the materials about how to get a lawyer for low cost, and he called me a bitch and hung up on me. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012/7 "2010-11-17T20:37:58Z")
If you had to choose, would you prefer the Huey Decimal System or the Louie Decimal System? ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012/8 "2010-11-17T20:38:28Z")
Excuse me, can you help me? I’m trying to find a book for my kid. He thinks it’s about dinosaurs and maybe it has a red cover. Seriously, as someone who’s worked a library circulation desk for years, I understand and sympathize completely. Shucks, I’ve had videotapes and books thrown at me. Have you ever had to explain to an aggressive drunk that you don’t carry “Long Dong Silver” because the library doesn’t stock porn videos? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012/9 "2010-11-17T22:20:17Z")
So what was it like to meet Justice Thomas? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012/10 "2010-11-18T00:35:37Z")
> [@LonesomePolecat](#): > > Have you ever had to explain to an aggressive drunk that you don’t carry “Long Dong Silver” because the library doesn’t stock porn videos? Yeah, but our lease was up so I just got a new roommate. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012/11 "2010-11-18T00:42:11Z")
How’d you end up as a librarian, anyway? Did the man you were supposed to marry wish that he’d never been born? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012/12 "2010-11-18T17:23:53Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > How’d you end up as a librarian, anyway? Did the man you were supposed to marry wish that he’d never been born? OK, if that’s not a movie reference (The Mummy? Buffy? Music Man?) … it’s just weeeeird. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012/13 "2010-11-18T17:43:30Z")
_It’s A Wonderful Life_. **Bryan** , that was funny. ---
**Author:** ![Lare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/53a042/32.png) [@Lare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lare)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012/14 "2010-11-18T18:46:02Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > If you had to choose, would you prefer the Huey Decimal System or the Louie Decimal System? Uhh, that would be over in News. Huey Louie and the News. Get it? Please? sigh Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012/15 "2010-11-18T18:55:56Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > The day continued when a woman brought her cell phone in and asked me if I could send the pictures on it to her email. Look lady, I’m a librarian, not tech support and even if it was my job to help with your cell phone, I don’t know shit about cell phones. Which I told you first thing. So why would you continue explaining your problem for another five minutes. > > She left by telling me “Thanks for nothing” even though I spent an hour helping her navigate the Internet and listening to her loudly sigh whenever someone else asked for my help. What a jackwagon! A simple solution: Point her towards the nearest person who looks like he or she is under 25 years old. That person will surely know exactly how to do it! ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012/16 "2010-11-18T19:06:39Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > How’d you end up as a librarian, anyway? Did the man you were supposed to marry wish that he’d never been born? If only it were that _ **simple** _. > [@John\_Mace](#): > > A simple solution: Point her towards the nearest person who looks like he or she is under 25 years old. That person will surely know exactly how to do it! I’m 29, that’s why she zeroed in on me. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012/17 "2010-11-18T19:30:44Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > The day continued when a woman brought her cell phone in and asked me if I could send the pictures on it to her email. Look lady, I’m a librarian, not tech support and even if it was my job to help with your cell phone, I don’t know shit about cell phones. Which I told you first thing. So why would you continue explaining your problem for another five minutes. > > She left by telling me “Thanks for nothing” even though I spent an hour helping her navigate the Internet and listening to her loudly sigh whenever someone else asked for my help. What a jackwagon! Wait until she gets her bill and realizes she doesn’t have a data plan. An hour’s worth of surfing should cost around 80 Brazilian dollars. And she’ll blame YOU! ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012/18 "2010-11-18T19:36:17Z")
> [@Dante](#): > > Wait until she gets her bill and realizes she doesn’t have a data plan. An hour’s worth of surfing should cost around 80 Brazilian dollars. And she’ll blame YOU! Oh god no! I didn’t help her use the Internet on the phone, I helped you use the library PCs. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012/19 "2010-11-18T20:00:24Z")
> [@Dante](#): > > Wait until she gets her bill and realizes she doesn’t have a data plan. An hour’s worth of surfing should cost around 80 Brazilian dollars. And she’ll blame YOU! I thought it was closer to 80 Peruvian dollars these days. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2010, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012/20 "2010-11-19T00:36:40Z")
> [@RitterSport](#): > > Just curious – the only other time I’ve heard this phrase is in the Geico commercial with the Marine sergeant as the psychotherapist (“the color yellow makes me sad”…classic!). FWIW I was curious enough to look up ‘jackwagon’ in the OED, to which I have online access, and the word’s not listed there. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-not-your-tech-support-also-this-is-a-small-library-you-moron/561012.md?page=2)