Ha. Ha. Ha.
I used to work in a bookstore - a private, capitalist, not-run-by-the-government bookstore - and I got shit like this all the time, too. People called up and wanted me to give them the hours of other businesses. Or tell them stuff about the library. (This happened so often that we had the phone number to the library taped under the phone.) One time, a lady called up and wanted me to help her with her computer. She’d bought some computer book from us and when she still couldn’t figure it out, what’d she do? Why, call the bookstore, obviously! After all, if you can SELL a book about computers, you must be an expert on how they work, too! I helped her for about half an hour until she ran into some problems I didn’t know how to fix. She was pretty peeved when I told her I didn’t know what to do. I’m just a bookseller, lady! Jesus.
Boy, working retail is FUN.
I don’t know if this will make you feel better, but I encounter similar things at work. It’s a call center so my only crazies are on the phone (thankfully). But, so, yeah. My company insures other companies across the country. Part of my job is to take insurance claims (like if someone slips and falls on a meatball at a restaurant, for example).
But some of the places we insure are large retail chains with… pardon the euphemism, “mentally hilarious” employees. And they will sometimes give out the insurance company phone number when customers complain–I have no fking idea why (see: “mental hilarity”). I have fielded far too many calls with someone demanding that I restock $retailstore’s orange cleaner or that a manager was mean to kick their dog out of the store, and have to gently explain that I am not with that company, I merely work for the company that insures that company but do they have an insurance claim to file?
It’s been met with mixed results. Some people get all deferential and hang up. Some express anger at the incompetent $retailstore’s staff (not my problem, bye now). Others will demand a phone number for $retailstore’s corporate office. Sorry bobbo, can’t help you. Call the store back. No, I don’t know their fucking phone number! We insure many THOUSANDS of companies with many THOUSANDS of locations.
I could also go on much longer about getting calls for Mary (or John or Greg, whatever). No, I don’t fucking know who John is. There are 4 Johns in my department, and 351 in the company directory. Kindly indicate which John you were speaking with and I’ll see what I can do. …I guess my biggest gripe here is people who contact the call center of an extraordinarily large corporation and expect the reps to know everyone on a first name basis.
In the run up to Christmas our local library gives its front-desk staff a crib-sheet of FAQs (“can you tell me the name of Santa’s reindeer?”), because they get some many calls asking.
It’s not so bad now people have t’internet at home, but 10yrs back it was almost unmanageable.
Sorry but no, I wish! My classmates last year were mostly under 25 and it was us old geezers who had to explain to them such things as how to upload pictures, how to burn a CD/DVD, how to change file formats (you’d never used “save as”? Really? Oh. Ooooh, you thought it only existed in Word, I see…), or how to print a single page.
The other side of this though is when your insurance company calls and says "Hi, this is John Mum-sdfklkljlwer-ble from State Farm. I’m calling about a claim made against you. I’d appreciate a call back at 1-800-4mumble9-blah9blurb6.
OK, after listening to the voice mail four times, I can’t make out your last name OR all the digits in your phone number.
So I get the number for the general claims line and start with “um…someone named John tried to reach me, and I can’t make out the number he left, but my name is…and can you figure out who called.”
And the person at the other end of the call gets huffy.
This. 100 times. What’s more, John Mumblemouth calls BACK and claims that it’s URGENT…and he mumbles his name, number, and company AGAIN.
When I get a “leave a message”, I’ve become accustomed to saying my name, number, and a message, and then I REPEAT my name and number. Just to make sure. Because we all tend to rattle off our numbers, and by leaving the number twice, there’s a better than double chance that the person on the other end can make it out.
Rule of names…if it has to say it, it probably isn’t it (not a 100% rule…just a guide)
“Excuse me, I need to know if I am descended from Cain or Able. Can you show the book that will trace my ancestry back to them?”
Oh, god, we still get a million calls about that whole “what does the Twelve Days of Christmas cost this year?” thing? Why? Who the fuck cares unless you’re in the exotic fowl and orchard business?
Alas this is the state of library science these days. I am, by title, a reference librarian. In practice that means that wheil I am still expect to answer reference questions, and help people find resources, I find myself fuffilling quite a few others as well.
Tech support has become a big part of this. Everything from helping people who don’t know how to type in a URL, to explaining that, "I don’t work for that site, so you’re going to have to take it up with them when they decline your credit card.
Most government agencies and business will direct people to their website when they call for help. If the poor confused person says they don't own a computer, and have never used one in their life, they are told to go to the library. Flat out, the agency or business not only expects the library to provide computer access, but teach the person to use a computer while they are trying to navigate the website (some of which make stereo instructions seem coherent, and may have ). What could have been a five minute phone call turns into a hour long session that is frustrating for both the patron and the librarian.
At times I feel like calling these "help lines" and informing the person on the other end that since I just spent time doing their jobs, they should pay me for my time, from their salary.I got into a big argument once with a patron who wanted to know why Jesus isn’t in the Old Testament. He didn’t want, you know Isaiah foreshadowing - he was willing to go to the mat with me that the OT was not written before Jesus’ putative birth. Nothing I could say could convince the guy. I couldn’t get him to just go away, either. Eventually Security came.
I wouldn’t have a problem fielding this type of call. You should probably mention that someone named John called you with regard to a claim, though. Since we typically get calls for everything. People needing to file a claim, or pay a bill, or check status on an existing claim. Calls from insureds, from agents, from attorneys, from claimants, from other company’s insurance adjusters. So if you state you’re a policyholder that would also be a good way to open the call.
Like I said, I wouldn’t have a problem fielding your problem, but if you could be more specific it might stop some reps from copping a 'tude with you. Something like: “Hey, my name is $name, I’m a policyholder with you guys at $insurancecompanyname. I received a call last night with regard to a claim that had been filed against me, and I need some more information about it. Would you like my policy number?”
No, much as this sucks, what sucks more is being the one in your office responsible for the phone system, and every.single.time this happens … having the phone system blamed, and by implication, the guy responsible for the phone system.
When the problem is the caller is John Mumblefuck calling on his Piece-o-Crap phone.
The answer is quite simple, actually. The answer is neither, even if you believe in a literal Genesis. It was Seth’s line that made it to Noah, so everyone else’s was killed off. Cain was cursed, that his line should not continue, and Abel most likely did not have any heirs, or Seth would not have inherited the Adamic line.
Plus, of course, Able isn’t a real person.
No, you are getting paid to route calls and/or manage the phone system for John Mumblefuck. It may not be the best job in the world, but you are getting paid to deal with him. I’m just trying to figure out why my insurance company has called me and don’t need attitude from someone whose salary is getting paid by my insurance premiums.
Look me up and try and figure out who in the hell is calling me and why. And if your systems don’t do that, tell me.
And I only know if John called in regard to a claim if he tells me that on his voice mail. Sometimes, I’m clueless because John Mumblefuck is getting paid $7 an hour and no one ever taught him how to leave a message - except its my insurance company and not my agent - which generally means I should return the call. Regardless of if I’m helpful or helpless - I don’t need you coppin’ a 'tude.
I was giving a slightly exaggerated example of a library patron who comes in convinced that all genealogy comes in a neat book that will have their name in it and neat little ancestry details leading all the way back to William the Conquerer or someone similar. With the advent of genealogy websites this mythical ‘book’ might be closer to actually existing, but the librarians have often had to deal with people who didn’t understand that tracing ancestry means hard work & research.
I’m not defending the person calling you, or their systems. I’m complaining about the same thing you are - people leaving messages full of mumbles, low volume, and static. Whenever this happens here, people in the office blame the problem on the voicemail system, when they should realize that there are some callers who cant leave a comprehensible message.
Sure, but at the end of the day, you get a paycheck to listen to attitude from you coworkers. I just get the attitude from your coworkers, while paying your company money. So in the “which situation sucks more” contest, I think I win.
(I know, I’ve spent YEARS on a desktop and servers operations team. I’ve listened to my coworkers chew me out because they can’t use a system. But I’m getting paid to let them rant (and blow them off)).
Not that paying someone money gives you the right to abuse them, or to demand they do something outside their job responsibilities - like fix a cell phone.