# I Am Pitting My Right Kidney **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 2, 2004, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901 "2004-04-02T14:59:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901/1 "2004-04-02T14:59:34Z")
For almost 30 years now, I’ve suffered those little pieces of hell known as kidney stones. Used to be a stone would crop up every couple of years. Now, though, now. . .well, my right kidney has totally forsaken me! Last August, my doctor wanted to operate on my right kidney to remove four stones. He could only get three of them out. After the surgery, he told me that the inside of my right kidney “looks like a cobblestone street with all the new stones forming” :eek: So since then, the one remaining stone has spent time bouncing into fiercely painful positions. This time, it’s happened _twice_ in less than 7 days! That’s right, Thursday before last: kidney stone pain. This past Tuesday, kidney stone pain. Now I need _another_ surgery to get _this_ stone out! Why is my kidney doing this to me? I’ve never done anything but give it a warm place to stay, and plenty of fluids. But then, it hits me with this fucking pain! This is pain so bad it makes me puke! Oh, yeah, I’ve got anti-nausea pills, but sometimes _I can’t keep them down long enough for them to work_!! WTF is that? My right kidney is obviously a miscreant! I want it punished; but I don’t wanna be punished with it! So here’s to my right kidney: fuck you and the body part you rode in on! What fucking good are you, anyway? Huh? You’re, like, the internal organ of doom! Fuck you! Well, that felt good, I’ll say it again: fuck you! That is all. ---
**Author:** ![jellytoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@jellytoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellytoes)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901/2 "2004-04-02T15:22:21Z")
That was great! I hope it was therapuetic. On the theme of pitting organs, I’d like to add my own. God-fucking damn you, left ovary! You see, my left ovary of black death and excruciating pain is what the Gyn calls “hard”. When it cramps, it doesn’t uncramp. This means that whenever the ovary feels like it, a great stabbing pain streaks through my abdomen without warning. Which, over the years, has caused me to: [list=a] [li]collapse[/li][li]puke[/li][li]pass out[/li][li]scream like a howler monkey[/li][li]try to dig it out with blunt objects[/li][/list] This has happened in school (oh the embarrassment), while driving, during dates, and many other incovenient times. Then again, no time is the right time for crippling pain. It used to happen during or right before my period. Now my ovary of hideous fucking doom attacks me without warning or mercy. It’s like the enemy is living in my body. I’ve begged the Gyn to just remove it. But since I’m healthy and nothing is really “wrong” with it, the ovary stays. So this pit is for you, left ovary. Why can’t you be more like your sister? All sweet and demure. I’m sick of your fits of fucking rage and violence. You laugh at me as I try to rip you out with my bare hands. You mock me when I am writhing on the floor in pain. Just you wait, I’ll get my revenge. I will have you out of my body. Every stab of pain, every tense move, you are one step closer to the knife. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901/3 "2004-04-02T15:41:24Z")
I suppose I should pit my herniated disc. You are a dick. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901/4 "2004-04-02T15:52:55Z")
[bJellytoes\*\*, Ouch! I’ve never heard of this condition before! I know I asked the doctor yesterday about just yanking out my right kidney, but he said it’s still “good enough” that if anything should happen to the left one (which I think of as "the good twin), the right one could take over. Still, I don’t see the doctor’s objection to removing your ovary. You don’t need it. Unlike a kidney, you don’t even need _one_ of them puppies! **Libertarian** , herniated discs, I _have_ hear of, mostly in terms of colorful invective. Thanks for sharing. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901/5 "2004-04-02T16:04:53Z")
Has your doc ever considered doing an ultrasound treatment instead of surgery? There’s some overview information [here](http://www.kidney-stone-symptoms.com/html/surgical-intervention.php3) . You might want to talk to him/her about alternatives. And who knows, maybe the ultrasound could shake apart all the little cobbles, too. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901/6 "2004-04-02T16:47:50Z")
**Morgyn** , I’m familiar with the ultrasound treatment, but last August when I had 4 stones that needed removal, he said “two of them were not eligible for ultrasound”. So, he removed the two that were, and another one. The one that’s floating around in there now needs to be removed surgically (it has to do with the positioning of the stone; you see, ultrasound breaks them up, so you can pass them; but if the original stone is not in a place where it will fall down to the bladder and pass, all you end up with is a bunch of smaller stones). Also, as innocuous as ultrasound sounds, I asked my doctor about pain after the procedure (because I knew someone who had quite a bit of pain afterwards), and he said it’s “like getting beaten in the kidney with a 2x4”. So, I don’t know that it would be all that preferable to the surgery anyway. ---
**Author:** ![jellytoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@jellytoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellytoes)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901/7 "2004-04-02T17:54:17Z")
**norinew** , I’ll trade your kidney for my ovary! The pain doesn’t sound any better but at least it would be something different. BTW, I don’t know what the objection is to removing my ovary but I’ve talked to several Dr’s and Gyn’s. They all seem to be in agreement. Bastards. Something about me being ‘child-bearing age’. They just write me a Rx, pat me on my head and send me away. I think I am wearing down my current Gyn, though. We’ll see. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901/8 "2004-04-02T18:07:12Z")
**norinew** , I sympathize. I’ve had three kidney stones and they are absolutely no picnic. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901/9 "2004-04-02T18:11:36Z")
Been there, done that. You have my sympathies. I’d rather give birth without anesthesia. Oh, but next time you’re in pain. Ask for Taxol. Ahhhhhhh…Taxol. (I think that’s what it was. God knows the Demerol wasn’t working.) ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901/10 "2004-04-02T18:28:40Z")
> [@jellytoes](#): > > **norinew** , I’ll trade your kidney for my ovary! The pain doesn’t sound any better but at least it would be something different. BTW, I don’t know what the objection is to removing my ovary but I’ve talked to several Dr’s and Gyn’s. They all seem to be in agreement. Bastards. Something about me being ‘child-bearing age’. They just write me a Rx, pat me on my head and send me away. I think I am wearing down my current Gyn, though. We’ll see. That’s fucked up. My doc took out my right ovary when there was nothing but a generalized pain in the area. Turns out the ovary wasn’t even the problem. I’m at child-bearing age too, but they had no qualms taking mine out. I still have pain, and the wonderful thing is they won’t give me anything for it because there’s nothing wrong that they can find. Nice, eh? ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901/11 "2004-04-02T19:21:27Z")
Never had stones before, so a couple of questions. If they removed your kidney, wouldn’t the left just start producing stones? Or, currently, why is it just right kidney producing stones, and not the left? ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901/12 "2004-04-02T21:31:20Z")
**Scarlett67** , yeah, “no picnic” about sums it up. I’ve had about 20 of these puppies since I was 15. I just hate it. Of course, my family hates it, too, because when I have the stones I’m completely useless. Nothing gets done. **ivylass** , I’ve never heard of Taxol. Is it a narcotic? I’ve had good success with several narcotics, including Oxycodone, which is what I take at home (not to be confused with the big-headlines Oxycontin). This is especially successful when I combine it with a couple of Aleve. The bitch is when I’m so nauseous that I can’t keep my anti-nausea meds down, which means I can’t keep my pain meds down. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by ParentalAdvisory_ > If they removed your kidney, wouldn’t the left just start producing stones? Or, currently, why is it just right kidney producing stones, and not the left? Good questions to which I don’t know the answer. I _do_ know that if they removed my right kidney, it would at least get rid of the the dozens of stones that are currently forming in there (there’s a name for these, but I forget what it is; I just call them DemonSpawn). FWIW, my left kidney _has_ produced stones, but it’s been at least 5 years since I’ve had trouble from one on that side. The doctor seems not to think that the left side would just take over, because he seemed to think that removing the right was a pretty valid response, except that it’s still in good enough shape to do what it needs to do if the left one malfunctioned for some reason. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901/13 "2004-04-02T21:50:27Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > **ivylass** , I’ve never heard of Taxol. Is it a narcotic? I’ve had good success with several narcotics, including Oxycodone, which is what I take at home (not to be confused with the big-headlines Oxycontin). This is especially successful when I combine it with a couple of Aleve. The bitch is when I’m so nauseous that I can’t keep my anti-nausea meds down, which means I can’t keep my pain meds down. I don’t know. It’s what they gave me in the hospital while I was passing a stone. That’s the day I managed to drive to work and scare the shit out of my co-workers, who didn’t know why I was white as a sheet and unable to talk. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901/14 "2004-04-02T21:58:39Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Oh, but next time you’re in pain. Ask for Taxol. Ahhhhhhh…Taxol. I don’t think you mean Taxol. That’s an anti-tumor drug. ---
**Author:** ![dre2xl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/34f0e0/32.png) [@dre2xl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dre2xl)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901/15 "2004-04-02T22:36:06Z")
> [@jellytoes](#): > > That was great! I hope it was therapuetic. > > On the theme of pitting organs, I’d like to add my own. God-fucking damn you, left ovary! Ah, what the hell. If you can do it, so can I. I have never-ending periods. Literally. I found out from Mom that the ovaries women in my family were screwed up, unpleasant symptoms would start at age 20, ending in cancer at age 40. The Pill keeps it to “only” 14 days but supposedly won’t work forever. So, damn you, ovaries and uterus, for existing at all. I don’t want a different mom, so… I pit my dad’s slow-swimming Y sperm, too. Oh, yeah, and damn all you religious right wackos and John Ashcroft and that CVS pharmacist who got in the news for thinking that women who take the pill are all sluts. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901/16 "2004-04-02T22:56:46Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > I don’t think you mean Taxol. That’s an anti-tumor drug. Perhaps you mean Toradol. Quite useful for kidney stone pain, and not even a narcotic! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901/17 "2004-04-02T23:09:11Z")
Might you mean Tylox? It’s a rather nifty (but narcotic) drug that I got once when I had a canker sore right over an impacted wisdom tooth. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901/18 "2004-04-02T23:50:25Z")
Wow, **norinew** , I truly feel for you. I had my first ever kidney infection last year which landed me in the hospital ER with fluids being pumped into my body, and it was excruciating - I’ve never felt pain like that. (Actually, I recall posting a Pit thread about it, and having several people order me to get to the hospital - thank heavens for the Dope! I don’t think I would have gone otherwise). I hope it feels better soon - that’s just wrong. And as long as we’re pitting parts of our bodies - my female parts need to knock it off with the endometriosis crap. I’m not about to have surgery to scrape lesions off of my uterus because they don’t want to stop hurting. Thank God for gynos who will put you on three straight months of birth control so that you can avoid ever having a period. Of course, one week every three months, I’m totally miserable, but if this is the stress I need to deal with to become pregnant next year, I’ll suffer. However, there are NO good reasons for you to suffer with kidney stones. Tell them to get the hell out already. Ava ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901/19 "2004-04-02T23:53:08Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by QtM_ > Perhaps you mean Toradol. Quite useful for kidney stone pain, and not even a narcotic! I’ve had Toradol for kidney stone pain before, and it was really quite effective. Didn’t leave me all looped out, either. Unfortunately, when I’m hospitalized, my doctor is a strong believer in IV morphine. It takes care of the pain, but leaves me stoned. It’s not a feeling I like. The only IV drug high that I’ve found to be pleasant is Dilaudid. My doc doesn’t write for it, because it’s highly addictive; but once when I went into the ER with a stone, the ER doc wrote it. The ER nurse put it into my IV, and I swear to God, before she got the med needle out of my IV port, I was feeling relief _and_ stoned. I said to her “could I be feeling that already?” She said “Oh, yes”. I found out that night that Dilaudid IV is fast-acting, but short-lived. The doc wrote for once an hour!! ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901/20 "2004-04-03T02:05:41Z")
The big problem with Toradol is that it can only be used so often. You can’t give more than 120 mg a day (30 mg IV 4 x a day) and can’t give it longer than 5 days. But for many straightforward kidney stone sufferers, it kills the pain, relaxes them, and the stone moves. Your case sounds more complex. Has your stone been analyzed? Check out this thread to see my ad nauseum discussion on kidney stone physiology and prevention: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=246401](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=246401) Frankly, Dilaudid is no more addicting than morphine. Between the two of them, whatever floats your boat is probably what you ought to get for severe acute kidney stone pain. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-pitting-my-right-kidney/237901.md?page=2)