# I am seeing entirely too many Hummers on the road! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 9, 2003, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677 "2003-06-09T17:36:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677/61 "2003-06-10T13:04:33Z")
Fuck Hummers. The big one (the Humvee, I guess, made DOT-legal) and the little one (the H2). I hate those things. I think of them as grenade targets. Here in New York City, every asshole Wall Street dipshit with a needle dick buys one of those things, and then drives them around town from nightclub to nightclub. They’re so fucking wide that they clog up the streets. When they’re parked, they stick out so far into the street that if a truck comes along, a real traffic jam can result. It’s not like these morons need them. The closest they ever come to offroading is going from the Upper West Side to the Hamptons in the summer. Jerks. Sorry, but if you own one of these things, you’re a jerk. That’s all there is to it. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677/62 "2003-06-10T13:07:31Z")
Iiii dunno. To a certain perspective, the _real_ Hummer is the perfect vehicle for Manhattan traffic. It might even be able to intimidate a bike messenger. Maybe. Parking’ll be kinda neat as a spectator sport, though. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677/63 "2003-06-10T13:18:21Z")
I was watching a program on Roger Clemens the other day during yet another rain delay. (I’m a big Yankee fan, but I dislike Clemens.) Naturally, ol’ Rog keeps a Hummer H2 as his car to use when he’s in NYC. He was saying that “when I drive this down Fifth Avenue, everyone has to get out of my way!” That’s so pathetic in so many ways, I just don’t know what to say. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Baldwin \* > \*\* I had fun for a while walking back and forth in front of the Hummer to make it talk, then left a note saying, “Tell your stupid car to shut up.” \*\* Hate to be cliched, but this made me literally spit the cherry I was eating all over the monitor, desk, and keyboard. The pit made a rather impressive _thonk_ as it hit the screen, though. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677/64 "2003-06-10T13:23:07Z")
\*Originally posted by MGibson \* > [@](#): > > Oh boy, another thread for people to piss and moan about what others choose to drive. He’s got a Hummer so obviously he must be a prick who cares nothing about other people. She’s driving a Jaguar so obviously she’s a whore with a rich husband. He’s driving a Corvette so he must be compensating for a small penis. Help me out folks. :rolleyes: > > Marc **Marc** , I don’t think this is it at all. People’s ridicule of the Hummer is not based on jealousy. Instead, it’s that a **commuter** would buy a vehicle that handles poorly, is too large to fit into the average parking space, gets horrendous gas mileage, will absolutely destroy any other vehicle it comes into contact with, is likely to rarely be subject to the extreme conditions it was designed for and that said **commuter** paid an exhorbatant price for all these negatives. I don’t begrudge them on the battlefield but I sure as hell do on the West Loop. ---
**Author:** ![keithnmick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90db22/32.png) [@keithnmick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keithnmick)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677/65 "2003-06-10T13:25:24Z")
I agree wholeheartedly with the sentiment expressed in this thread. One of my in laws’s neighbours just bought thier boy an H2 for his sixteenth birthday. A bad move on so many levels. I was behind one in traffic the other day and the license plate read “give me a” - says it all about the intellect of the driver I guess. Oh and the Fiat Multipla may be bog ugly, but it’s not all that small. It seats six. More than an H2. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677/66 "2003-06-10T13:43:45Z")
Actually, **Brutus** , the thing with the Hummer is that _in proportion to overall vehicle size_ there are SUVs out there that have much better interior space/carrying capacity. As pointed out elsewhere, H2’s are really nothing but fancily tricked-out GMCs that _simulate_ the image of the real-deal HMMV . If we’re fortunate they’ll be victims of their own success and become known as the ultimate “bling bling” car. If I ever want to look like I’m the neighborhood’s Mr. Rugged, I’ll get a Land Rover (a REAL Land Rover, with the spare tyre on top of the engine bonnet and jerry cans for gas in the back) Or an old pre-1980s Toyota Land Cruiser ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677/67 "2003-06-10T13:51:52Z")
While I do agree with the others in here about the size problems (thankfully, we have yet to be near one on the road), I have a question for **Bad News Baboon**. You drive a new Cooper Mini? My wife was wondering if you are scared of getting hit from behind as there doesn’t seem to be any space between the back of the car and the driver’s seat. Anyway, these big trucks on the road are making driving bloody hazerdous. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677/68 "2003-06-10T14:23:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gorgon Heap \* > \*\* > You drive a new Cooper Mini? My wife was wondering if you are scared of getting hit from behind as there doesn’t seem to be any space between the back of the car and the driver’s seat. > \*\* There’s plenty of space back there. It’s not as if the front seat is adjacent to the hatchback. I would say it is comparable to a VW GTI in that regard. The Mini is small, but it’s really not as small as people make it out to be. I almost always hear from strangers that it is not as small as they envisioned. Has she actually seen one or is she judging by pictures? Of course, I am biased, but I really prefer the drive of a small car. It has plenty of power to _move_. My friend has an Excursion and I hate driving with her. It takes forever to accelerate. It is not quick handling at all. It seems (to me) that any quick turn will topple it. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677/69 "2003-06-10T15:00:09Z")
We see them on the road all the time. Just wondering. ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677/70 "2003-06-10T15:48:23Z")
Gotta agree with Bad News Baboon. They are significantly larger inside than they appear from the ousde. I wouldn’ fear getting hit in one. Two complaints, though. I’m reasonably tall, and the roof cuts off my sightline enough so it’s difficult to see trafic lights at some times. And they are a serious bitch to ork on. If I never have to repair another Mini Cooper S in my life, it’ll be too soon. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677/71 "2003-06-10T17:02:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JRDelirious \* > **As pointed out elsewhere, H2’s are really nothing but fancily tricked-out GMCs that _simulate_ the image of the real-deal HMMV . If we’re fortunate they’ll be victims of their own success and become known as the ultimate “bling bling” car.** Become? It already is; GM declared so themselves in the new ad campaign. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677/72 "2003-06-10T17:42:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MGibson \* > \*\*Oh boy, another thread for people to piss and moan about what others choose to drive. He’s got a Hummer so obviously he must be a prick who cares nothing about other people. She’s driving a Jaguar so obviously she’s a whore with a rich husband. He’s driving a Corvette so he must be compensating for a small penis. Help me out folks. :rolleyes: > > Marc \*\* Hey, you don’t need any help. You’re doing just fine. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677/73 "2003-06-10T17:43:32Z")
\*Originally posted by Necros \* > [@](#): > > And they are a serious bitch to ork on. Yeah, ask any cow. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677/74 "2003-06-10T18:26:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Necros \* > \*\*I’m reasonably tall, and the roof cuts off my sightline enough so it’s difficult to see trafic lights at some times. \*\* Eh! Stick your head out of the sunroof then! Problem solved! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677/75 "2003-06-10T18:56:57Z")
I once saw (I shit you not) _sixteeen_ Cooper Minis driving down the road, one right after another, all in a row. I sat and counted. Hummers…Ehh. The country-girl truck-drivin’ soul in me says “Cooool,” but that’s just because they look big and menacing. They remind me of my old Bronco 2, a car I dearly wish I still had. It was huge and rattly and ancient and it once fit fifteen people. Not comfortably, mind, and there were two people in the front passenger seat, but they fit. Had a better turning radius than my friend’s sedan, too (Christ, that thing steers like a cow). After the brief awe at seeing the two we had in town (one yellow, one camouflage) and then another…and another…and another…and I HAVE seen the stretch Hummer, it’s ridiculous… They remind me of my constant gripe about Land Rovers – upwards of $30k for a really high-end SUV that they won’t take any further than the grocery store and would get really, really gripey if it got so much as a tiny scratch or paint-ding. In the rich part of town, you can see the pattern – SUV, SUV, SUV, Jaguar, Mercedes, BMW, Ford Mustang (a Saleen, for the kids), SUV, Minivan (wow, someone’s in the wrong part of town!), Volvo… I want a Ford so I can fix it myself (can’t even change the godforsaken oil filter on a Mitsubishi), ora Volvo so I’ll feel safe for the rest of my life, or one of the little hybrid cars. One of those, I’m not picky. 🙂 But I feel like some bumpersticker-vandalism whenever I see a fleet of urban assault vehicles streaming toward me from behind. Scares me almost as much as an 18-wheeler. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677/76 "2003-06-10T19:02:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by aaslatten \* > \*\*The H2s are just stupid. My girlfriend and I wave our pinkies everytime we see one. \*\* I hear people mention that Hummers are intended to make up for inadequacy in … uhh, certain areas. Personally, I think they’re intended to make up for the lack of external genitalia. They’re everywhere around Kansas City, but they’re like VW Cabrios … chick cars. I seldom see men driving them; most H2s around here are driven by twentysomething and thirtysomething women with yuppie power hair. ---
**Author:** ![B.Serum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/b.serum/32/14266_2.png) [@B.Serum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/B.Serum)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677/77 "2003-06-10T19:13:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elmwood \* > \*\*…They’re everywhere around Kansas City… \*\* Dude! I started this thread and that’s where I’m posting from! It’s _not_ just me. It’s also coincidental that Minis are being brought up in this thread, as that is what I drive. ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677/78 "2003-06-10T19:17:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\*\*Originally posted by Necros \* Yeah, ask any cow. \*\* LOL! I missed you guys…🙂 ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677/79 "2003-06-10T19:47:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by keithnmick \* > … and the license plate read “give me a” - says it all about the intellect of the driver I guess. ???, Okay, maybe not enough coffee, but I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Fin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/51bf81/32.png) [@Fin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fin_man)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677/80 "2003-06-10T20:01:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > \*\*???, Okay, maybe not enough coffee, but I don’t get it. \*\* Give me a hummer. And you know what hummer is slang for, right? [sub]fellatio[/sub] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-seeing-entirely-too-many-hummers-on-the-road/180677.md?page=5)