# I am setting myself up for disaster and heartbreak **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 5, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909 "2003-06-05T19:44:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909/1 "2003-06-05T19:44:59Z")
His name is Omar. He’s an international finance grad student from Colombia. He has olive skin, jet black hair and chocolate brown eyes that crinkle up at the corners when he smiles, a smile that would melt even the glacial heart of Leona Helmsley herself. We met last Saturday for an actual date, and got together again last night at my place. And now this morning…you know that tingly feeling you get when you’ve been in the sun just long enough that any longer and you’ll start to burn? I got that all over. Except that, oops, I just broke up with someone two weeks ago, and he broke up with the only man with whom he’s ever been involved, a relationship that lasted over two years. In other words, it’s a _double rebound_. I am so screwed. But damn, it’s gonna be a fun ride while it lasts. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909/2 "2003-06-05T19:49:30Z")
Don’t two negatives make a positive? You’ll be fine, enjoy the ride. ---
**Author:** ![Loneraven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c0e974/32.png) [@Loneraven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loneraven)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909/3 "2003-06-05T19:52:16Z")
_laughs_ If it’s any consolation, he sounds lovely. Try not to be negative and enjoy, **Otto**. ---
**Author:** ![Marathon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Marathon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marathon)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909/4 "2003-06-05T20:03:23Z")
Warning: Anecdote alert! In May of 2002, I broke up with the guy that I had been seeing for 2 1/2 years. I swore that I wouldn’t date again for a very long time, but found myself, after a flurry of passion and hanging out, very much attached to someone else like 3 weeks later. I thought that this new relationship was a rebound one, and that it would fizzle after a couple of weeks or a month. It lasted a year. Granted, we just broke up a couple of weeks ago, but amicably. There was too much of an age difference between us, and we were in different places in our lives. But, both of us are doing fine and still hanging out as friends. The key is this: we had a fantastic year together. A whole lot of fun, and some times that I’ll remember for the rest of my life. So, in short: don’t let a “rebound” relationship get you down, as you never know what’ll happen. And, after my breakup: Am I down about it? Sure. I loved the guy. But am I regretful that we were together? Not at all. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909/5 "2003-06-05T20:03:37Z")
"He has olive skin, jet black hair and chocolate brown eyes that crinkle up at the corners when he smiles . . " Mmmmm. Sounds like quite a tentmaker. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909/6 "2003-06-05T20:05:05Z")
Well, you’re one stepp ahead of the game in being aware of the possiblity of heartache etc. But it need not become a reality - best of luck. Enjoy! ( Hmm I get I feeling that last word was not really necessary) 🙂 And has this chocolate-eyed man got a twin brother, by any chance? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909/7 "2003-06-05T20:23:11Z")
Otto and Omar–how cute would _that_ be on a sterling silver engraved tray? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![planetclair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7c8e57/32.png) [@planetclair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/planetclair)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909/8 "2003-06-05T20:29:53Z")
Don’t think about the end in the beginning or you’ll ruin all the fun. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909/9 "2003-06-05T20:54:36Z")
Anecdotes, two for the price of one: - I broke up, bitterly, with my boyfriend of a few years, and rebounded immediately with a male friend I’d known for a couple months. I knew he’d been attracted to me, and I found him attractive as well. I was worried about rebounding and what that might do to our friendship. Over 12 years later, we’re best friends, and have been married for 5 years. - My sister broke up with her fiance after letting herself realize that he wouldn’t change, that he was abusing drugs and wouldn’t give them up for her. She found a guy on [match.com](http://match.com), he seemed fun and interesting, and they met up. He was just as fun and interesting in person, plus gorgeous, and she figured he was probably just a rebound but she might as well have fun. Over a year and a half later, they’re getting ready to move in together, with plans of marriage in the future. Rebounds work sometimes. Just enjoy it and see what happens. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909/10 "2003-06-05T20:59:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > "He has olive skin, jet black hair and chocolate brown eyes that crinkle up at the corners when he smiles . . " > > Mmmmm. Sounds like quite a tentmaker. Took me a second reading, but I got the double meaning on this finally. Thanks for the chuckle, **Eve**. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909/11 "2003-06-05T23:07:59Z")
Thank you, **Ferret** , I was _hoping_ someone had as dirty a mind as I do . . . ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909/12 "2003-06-05T23:13:29Z")
It took me a couple minutes to figure out the _clean_ meaning of Eve’s post! Does that mean I have an extra dirty mind? ---
**Author:** ![Primaflora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909/13 "2003-06-05T23:20:58Z")
Double rebound here. Married this last 13 years. It can work. Have fun and good luck 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Nymysys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f6c823/32.png) [@Nymysys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nymysys)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909/14 "2003-06-05T23:31:55Z")
Another double rebound. Married after 39 days. Six month wedding anniversary on the 20th. Stranger things have happened. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kevja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@kevja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevja)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2003, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909/15 "2003-06-06T00:35:25Z")
Sounds hot. But why all the concern? As you said, just enjoy the ride. Don’t plan the results. ---
**Author:** ![soulburnz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@soulburnz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulburnz)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2003, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909/16 "2003-06-06T01:33:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*"He has olive skin, jet black hair and chocolate brown eyes that crinkle up at the corners when he smiles . . " > > Mmmmm. Sounds like quite a tentmaker. \*\* Rimshot !!! Thanx Eve - that is the funniest thing I’ve heard all week 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2003, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909/17 "2003-06-06T01:40:44Z")
As a good friend of mine has always said…“No guts, no glory!” Not that it ever worked for ME, but I have seen it work for others. Which is probably my own fault, I suppose. I guess I don’t DO NGNG welll. 😃 So I say, go for it. It sounds like you enjoy the person, and would enjoy his friendship even if it doesn’t work out in other ways…so why not give it a try? Best of luck and best wishes for happiness…either way! ---
**Author:** ![SnugTheJoiner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@SnugTheJoiner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnugTheJoiner)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909/18 "2003-06-06T04:00:48Z")
ROFLMAO Eve! Mr. Khayyam would be proud! ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2003, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909/19 "2003-06-07T20:10:44Z")
Well _that_ didn’t take long. He’s going back to his ex. Just got the brush-off email. Oh well. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2003, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909/20 "2003-06-07T20:44:39Z")
_E-mail?_ Cowardly bastard. You’re better off without him, dear. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-setting-myself-up-for-disaster-and-heartbreak/179909.md?page=2)